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Inspiration

18 and Still Waiting, By PI Girl Molly

Let me tell you a secret: I just graduated from high school, and–wait for it–I have never been on a date! That’s right. I’m 18 years old, and I have never gone on a date, let alone had a boyfriend.

While I realize there are many girls out there who choose early in their teenage years to not date until a certain age, maybe until they’re in college, that was not the case for me. In fact, if you had asked me four years ago if I thought I would make it through high school without dating anyone, I probably would have laughed and said, “No way!” I thought for sure I would have a guy come into my life during my high school years and sweep me off my feet, even if it was just for a short time.

But that didn’t happen, and it took me a long time to accept the fact that only God knew who and when I needed to date. It took even more time to be comfortable with it.

Being single in a society where even 9-year-olds are talking about their exes and boyfriends can be really hard. You’re pressured into thinking that you’re not cool or even normal if you’ve never dated, and that can cause you to make decisions you will regret later on in life. There were two guys I came close to dating during high school. Each time I thought “surely this is the one!” But for some reason neither of those relationships grew into anything worthwhile.

When I would tell people that I was single, I would get, “What?! But you’re so pretty!” as a response. They didn’t understand it, and neither did I. I didn’t understand how all of my friends and even the girls I counseled at a middle school camp had boyfriends, and there I was, just me.

At some point during my junior year, I realized that it was perfectly okay for me to not be in a dating relationship. I realized that as long as I wasn’t dating anyone, I wouldn’t have to worry about going through the tough breakups that my friends went through. I wouldn’t have an ex that I absolutely hated. And when I got married, I wouldn’t have to regret wasting my emotions on high school flings.

Now I look back at those two relationships I desperately wanted to work out and see that I got exactly what I needed. Neither of those guys were the type I want or need to hold my heart, and had things actually gotten serious, they would not have been the type of relationships God wants me to have.

If you’re a girl like me, one who is still waiting for that first love, I want to encourage you to make the most of your wait. While you’re not emotionally attached to any guy, take a piece of paper and write down the qualities you want in your future husband, so when a guy does come around you can see if he is the guy you want to spend your life with. You can also pray for him. Life is really hard for young guys, and both of you will become stronger if you are praying for your future husband and the relationship the two of you will share.

At times you will get desperate, but don’t settle for anything less than the man that God has for you, and you will be able to look back at these years without regrets.

Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.”

Written by PI Girl Molly

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Image: iStockPhoto | ThinkStock + Project Inspired

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70 Comments

  1. Ginger Kid

    Posted by Ginger Kid on September 9, 2014 at 07:17

    Ha! I thought I was the only one! Thanks for sharing 🙂

  2. Waterlilly101

    Posted by Waterlilly101 on July 22, 2014 at 06:11

    Thanks for writing this article 🙂 I’m also 18 and graduated and yet has never had even 1 relationship. It was getting discouraging, and I would get the same response when I told other people as you did :/ This article shocked me because I thought I was the only one? It was encouraging to find out I’m not the only one and be reminded that God has someone out there for us 🙂 I’m glad I found this 🙂 It was a nice booster 🙂 Thanks!

  3. Lefty1995

    Posted by Lefty1995 on June 28, 2014 at 12:47

    I’m nineteen, and still single. There’s this great article someone sent me called “I’ll wait”

    My absolute favorite quote from there is “I will wait, because my worst and loneliest days as a single person are better than my best days with the wrong man.”

    http://www.thefulltimegirl.com/2013/12/04/ill-wait/

    The author is a Christian, too, and the article is just wonderful

  4. kellynmac

    Posted by kellynmac on February 23, 2014 at 21:46

    I honestly thought I was the only eighteen year old who had never been on a date or had a boyfriend! It makes me worry that I’m never going to find anyone! But this article was exactly what I needed to read..

  5. Project Inspired

    Posted by animaya on February 3, 2014 at 19:06

    Haha I didn’t think that there were other girls going through the same thing as me. I’m 18 and it’s the same thing with me. I trust God will lead him to me one day.

  6. Project Inspired

    Posted by God Girl on August 1, 2013 at 17:08

    Im 19 and I have never been on a date or ever had a boyfriend.When the boyfriend topic comes up and I tell people I never had a boyfriend,they think its so strange.But I am ok with it and enjoying being single.I am going to wait a while to start dating.

  7. Project Inspired

    Posted by tiffany2013 on July 21, 2013 at 11:38

    Hi, Thank you for sharing! I’m 18 & just graduated, too. & Like you, I have NEVER had a relationship in high school. I dated one guy in my late grade school years, (8th grade) and he was not right for me and it didn’t last long. But, I’m going through the EXACT same thing. I know how you feel. I’ve actually been writing letters to my future husband, it helps a lot. I encourage everyone to do that if your playing the waiting game. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who is going through this, i thought something was wrong with me lol. God bless you!

    • shrimpy2000

      Posted by shrimpy2000 on September 10, 2014 at 21:18

      I write letters to my future husband too! I do so whenever I feel I should and I keep them all in a box. 🙂

  8. Fashionlovebypam

    Posted by Fashionlovebypam on July 17, 2013 at 14:39

    Hi! I’m Pam, such a Great price of advice! \
    even I need to hear and know that, I’m not alone since I’m waiting for a Godly Man to come and I always call him My True Love! Being 22 and having some friends who don’t understand & family who is like aren’t You Dating someone” And I always say, “No, I’m waiting for My True Love” But I know God has a Different Plan for me! And I liked two guys when I was 19 & 20 One wasn’t a Christian but still was a Good man but didn’t want to Change and now I wish I would have just become his Friend and had stopped thinking about my heart and change him! And Another Guy was a Christian but wasn’t a good man and Now I Know God Wants me to work on Myself and become Closer to him.
    xoxo Pam

  9. AllisonGrace

    Posted by AllisonGrace on July 16, 2013 at 03:26

    Such wise words! When I have a daughter, I want to show her this. I dated in high school. I had two silly relationships freshman year, then a serious one for a year. He ended up breaking my heart, and wasting my time. I applaud you for not dating yet. It is so important to guard your heart. I wouldn’t trade my experiences because I’ve learned from them, but my daughter is going to wait to date. It’s simply not worthwhile in high school.

  10. schmidtbexe

    Posted by schmidtbexe on July 13, 2013 at 17:07

    That’s really awesome!! Its also nice to know I’m not alone as a “dating virgin.” I’m about to start my senior year of high school, and I’ve never been anywhere near dating. Thanks for reminding me that I’m not alone!!

  11. Trinity

    Posted by Trinity on July 13, 2013 at 09:16

    You know, Molly, it’s better that way. I just graduated, too. But I dated in high school, and yes, I kissed, and yes a couple of times things went kinda far, but I really wish I had waited to date. Everyone thinks that they’re the 1% who’s going to marry their high school sweetheart, but the fact is, you are not ready for that kind of commitment in high school. Even if a guy says he is, chances are he’s not. And neither are you. In high school it’s better to focus on your friends, your grades, your future. Boys at that age lead to heartache and unnecessary drama.

  12. Rain47

    Posted by Rain47 on July 12, 2013 at 20:08

    Thank you so much for this article Molly! I’m 16 and I’ve never dated either. It gets really difficult to stay confident in oneself when there seems to be such a lack of interest and so many others are dating. But your article has refocused me and inspired me. I plan to make that list and refuse to settle for anything less than what God would want me to have. <3

  13. Mijatrombley

    Posted by Mijatrombley on July 12, 2013 at 17:08

    I definitely know Molly! I’m 18 and just graduated too! I’ve never had a boyfriend and my friends said the same thing that yours did. I was confused why no guys ever asked me out but my youth pastor and reading what you posted has helped me understand:)

  14. fairy

    Posted by fairy on July 12, 2013 at 15:07

    Im19 im going to be 20 next month. And im still waiting haha I haven’t even been on a date! Sometimes its hard too but I pray and have others pray for me too then I feel better. Just some advice for you girls, pray when you are feeling lonely, and dont give in!!

  15. Project Inspired

    Posted by mcote on July 12, 2013 at 14:42

    I am about to enter my third year of college, and I’ve never been on a date, so I feel you! This was really encouraging, and I super-duper appreciate your willingness to open up to all of us about this!

  16. Project Inspired

    Posted by Elisa_GFB on July 12, 2013 at 10:12

    Wow, I’ve already has my fair share of boyfriends but I’ve chosen to save my next kiss for an actual real relationship where God can be a big part of it, I’ve been through a lot of heartaches and I know God DIDNT want that, that’s why I’m just….waiting know, I sort of regret dating but I know there’s a fresh start with God where your past does not define your heart, thank you for the encouragement ❤

  17. Nellie

    Posted by Nellie on July 11, 2013 at 17:59

    And lol at missdaae i love blimeycow!! They are so great!