Ask Aysha: “Are There Any Good Guys Left?”
Written by Aysha Ives | March 28, 2013
It seems like the guys that I date always turn out to be jerks. They seem really great in the beginning, but later I find out that they’re hiding things from me and they start to act really rude and inconsiderate. I don’t understand–are ALL guys jerks? Are there any good ones out there?
Dating can be difficult because it involves two imperfect people. However, you deserve healthy, happy relationships, and there are MANY great guys out there! Here are some tips to help you attract healthy relationships:
- Designate more time to read the Bible and pray. It’s important that your relationships are ones God sends your way. Make sure that the people you’re involved with are not being used by the enemy to distract you. The only way to know if God has given His stamp of approval on your relationship is by getting divine direction through reading His Word and praying.
- Consider courting. Dating is typically what the world engages in just to have a little fun or so that people can say they’re in a relationship. However, God instructs His people to marry so that married couples can unite to fulfill the purpose that God has for them together. You may want to consider just having friendships until you’re ready to engage in more intentional courting.
- Focus on yourself. Spend some time building yourself up. You’re GOD’S girl, and that makes you so wonderful and unique! Spend more time focused on becoming who you and God want you to be. Build on your strengths and work on areas that you think you need to change. Start doing things to enhance your greatness, like trying new activities, joining organizations, volunteering, taking some classes or finding a mentor. As you focus on building yourself up, an amazing thing will begin to happen: You’ll start to attract people into your life who want to treat you well.
- Date other Christians. It’s really important that you enter relationships with people who share your love for God. God IS love, so in order for someone to truly be able to love you properly, he has to first have a relationship with God himself. Agape love is the overflow of God’s love onto people, so in order for someone to be able to demonstrate that kind of love toward you, he has to first have a relationship with God himself. You might want to take a few minutes to read this article about whether you should date a nonbeliever.
- Know your worth! Even at the beginning of relationships, we often see signs of a person’s true character. Sometimes we ignore these signs because we don’t want to end the relationship. When you see red flags, DON’T ignore them. You don’t have to stay in an unhealthy relationship! Remember, God will send someone who will love you beyond measure. Don’t settle for less than what God says you deserve!
- Forgive. Forgive those who have hurt you in the past so that you don’t block your future blessings. Remember, forgiveness is for you, not for them. If you want a healthy, God-sent relationship, you have to free yourself from the bondage of unforgiveness. Take a look at this article about forgiveness prayers.
What do you girls think? Do you have any tips to add?
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