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Ask Aysha: “Help! My Friends Think My Boyfriend Is TOO into Church!”

I’m dating this guy who is absolutely amazing! Unfortunately, my friends think I should break up with him. They keep telling me that “He’s too into church!” I admire that he puts God first, but I can’t get my friends to accept him. What should I do?

Christian relationships are supposed to be distinguishable from the world’s relationships and as a result, people may have difficulty understanding your position. Even other Christians may struggle with the differences because people are at different places spiritually. On the other hand, sometimes when we’re in the midst of situations, its hard for us to see clearly. Relationships and friendships can sometimes be quite difficult to navigate, so here’s what I suggest to deal with this situation:

  • Pray about it. As always, keep God in the center of your life and decisions. Make sure that God approves of the relationship and ask Him for guidance about how to handle the criticism of your friends. Sometimes people who care about us can see things we’re missing. At other times, friends and family can totally miss the mark because of a lack of understanding. Either way, it’s important to consult the One who knows all things. Ask God for more revelation in this area.
  • Don’t tolerate being mistreated. It’s AWESOME that your boyfriend puts God first! God commands that His disciples put Him first in every area of their lives and He’ll reward such obedience! However, part of obeying God is showing the love of Christ to others. It’s important to understand that loving God does NOT mean neglecting the people in our lives. So if your boyfriend never has time for you, then perhaps you should have a conversation with him about that.
  • Make sure you’re TRULY okay with the relationship. Sometimes we invest so much in others that we forget to make sure that our own needs are being met. We say it’s okay when we don’t mean it wholeheartedly. Be sure that your desire to be in a relationship or feelings for your boyfriend don’t cloud your judgment. If it doesn’t feel right, then it probably isn’t. It doesn’t mean that your boyfriend is too into church; it could just mean that the relationship needs to be put on hold for awhile while he focuses on his relationship with God.
  • Limit what you share with others. Friends mean well, but sometimes they can be a little critical of what they don’t understand. If you truly believe that this relationship has God’s approval, then perhaps you should be more selective about what you share with your friends regarding your relationship. It’s appropriate to tell your friends that if they can’t respect your relationship, then talking about it is off-limits!
  • Don’t forget to keep God first. If the relationship is one sent by God, then it’ll continually flourish with time. Don’t allow your friends’ negativity to convince you to interfere with your boyfriend’s relationship with God. Continue to support him and his love for God. If you want to spend more time with him, considering going to more church functions with him or make time to do a couple’s Bible Study together. As you grow closer to God, your relationship will strengthen, too.

Christians should understand that growing closer to God requires a lot of time and sacrifice. However, when God places someone in our lives, He wants us to nourish the relationship, too. It’s important to find a balance!

What do you girls think? Can someone ever be too into church? Do you have any other suggestions?

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10 Comments

  1. Denise

    Posted by Denise on July 7, 2013 at 18:50

    There’s no such thing as being too into God. The way I see it, it’s an admirable thing. Being in a relationship with such a person will even help you to further develop your relationship with God. I think you should just ignore your friends, if they fail to see this.

  2. joeben

    Posted by joeben on July 5, 2013 at 22:51

    It wouldn’t be a problem to me if my boyfriend was “too into church” because first of all, I don’t believe that someone can be into God too much. I find it suitable that we should be crazy about God because He is towards us. And second, I’m very picky about a guy being about godly because one day he will lead me and our kids closer to God.

  3. Project Inspired

    Posted by lovelybird on June 24, 2013 at 15:24

    You can never be too in to church. But you can be too into the world. I think it’s great that he’s in church and in love with God. That’s what counts the most. YOu are blessed, there are so many phoney Christians out there that it makes me made. I’m glad he’s not ashamed to be a guy in Christ. It shouldn’t matter what your friends think of him. He’s your BF not theirs. I mean if he was a jerk and abuser then your friends should come in..but you said he was a great guy. So it’s their problem.

  4. nonnie

    Posted by nonnie on June 24, 2013 at 10:38

    i believe that you should be proud that you have a Godly boyfriend. i would definately encourage his love of the Lord because no guy who does not have a relationship with Him is worth being with. as for the friends not approving i also have problems with this. my friends are mostly un-christian and the ones who are have just recently been saved. i am currently in a relationship with a guy that loves the Lord and i praise and thank God that i have him (for however long He plans it to last) my friends generally think he is uncool and dont understand why i like him. because of this i have decided that if i like him and i know the Lord wants us to be together at least for now then i do not need their approval. look to God in this and if He approves then disregard your friends opinions about him =)

  5. Project Inspired

    Posted by caspain391 on June 22, 2013 at 13:36

    Being with someone who loves God and is working toward becoming closer to God is a wonderful thing! It’ll motivate you to become closer to God yourself and bless you in many ways. If your friends aren’t happy for you or think that it isn’t a good thing, you may need to politely ask them to leave the subject alone if they can’t reach understanding or be respectful of how you feel about it.

  6. TheTenthDoctor

    Posted by TheTenthDoctor on June 21, 2013 at 14:24

    My friend goes to two different churches on Sunday’s and goes to about three different youth groups. If you are a Christian girl, you probably think that’s pretty cool. (I did too!)But be careful!! You never know how much of it is genuine until you really get to know him.

  7. nina.torrez

    Posted by nina.torrez on June 21, 2013 at 13:40

    Being over religious can be a bad thing but there is NO such thing as being too into God! Your friends are probably just tryin to look out for you in a way they think is best, but if it interferes with getting closer to God they may not be the best influence(that doesnt mean ditch your friends). It’s awesome to find a boyfriend who is submersed into God!!! It’s a rare quality. The bible tells us to be equally yoked.

  8. wingedheartt@gmail.com

    Posted by wingedheartt@gmail.com on June 20, 2013 at 15:23

    i don’t think there IS such a thing as “too into church”, or God. tell him how much you respect him for putting God first! and if your friends have an issue with that fact… maybe you should think about whether THEY are pointing you to God or not.
    have to say… i am jealous! 😉

  9. Kay1992

    Posted by Kay1992 on June 14, 2013 at 18:53

    I do not believe that someone can be too into church… But just think back to Biblical times… People always said bad things about Jesus. And He did no wrong… I think it’s great that he is striving to be “as Christ”, as God wants us all to do 🙂 Good for him!

  10. Blythe

    Posted by Blythe on June 14, 2013 at 09:20

    I think that someone loving god and worshiping him him is never a bad thing, “chose ye this day whom you will serve, but as for me and my house we will serve the lord” And “A man cannot have two masters, for either he will hate that one and curse other, a man cannot be of mammon and the church” Your boyfriend has made his choice, and is sticking with it! Encourage him!