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Love

Ask Aysha: “I’m Scared to Tell My Crush That I Like Him!”

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There’s this guy that I met at youth camp. He’s really cool and now I have a crush on him. We talk sometimes on Facebook but I want more than a casual friendship. Should I tell him that I like him? How should I approach him?

It can be quite confusing and frustrating when you like a guy but you’re not sure how he feels about you. You’re probably asking yourself if you should tell him or whether you should just keep your feelings to yourself. Also, if you do decide to tell him, what should you say?  Well, here are some pointers to help you handle this situation:

  • Remember that guys are people, too! It can be nerve-wracking to get up enough courage to approach the guy you like. Guys seem so different and no girl wants to be turned down! Well, try to always keep at the forefront of your mind that guys are people, too. They get nervous and have thoughts and feelings just like girls. If you decide to tell him that you like him, remind yourself that he’s a person too and that his response doesn’t change who YOU are!
  • Try the “What’s the Worst Thing That Could Happen” approach. I use this approach a lot when I’m nervous about doing something. Try asking yourself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen if/when I do this?” In this case, the worst thing that could happen is he might turn you down. Ask yourself it that’s a risk you’re willing to take. If the answer is yes, then go for it. If the answer is no, then maybe it’s not the best time to tell him. However, you might want to remind yourself that being turned down isn’t the end of the world–it simply means he’s not the one for you!
  • Choose a way to tell him. The best way to tell a guy you like him is probably face to face. If you’re good friends with him already or if you’re shy, then there are other options. You could text, email, or Facebook him, but if you decide to do it in writing, it’s important that you trust this guy. Remember, written information can be shared with others, so be cautious about how you decide to tell him!
  • No chasing! The Bible says “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). Therefore, I’m convinced that God designed guys to pursue females. Although telling a guy how you feel is okay, it’s probably not a good idea to “chase” after him. Let him know how you feel and then leave it in his court. You should continue to focus on God and pursue other activities, and if he’s interested, he’ll show interest. If he doesn’t, then he’s just not the guy for you.
  • Pray about it! As I’ve shared before, I think that courting is the best approach. This is because it prevents so much heartache. However, whatever way you decide to approach relationships, be sure to consult God first. You should never enter into a relationship without God’s approval first! In the same way, it’s probably best for you to pray about how you should tell your crush that you like him. God cares about everything pertaining to His children, even the seemingly small things. So go ahead and pray about it, and see what God has to say!

What do you girls think? Have you ever told a guy that you liked him first? How did it go?

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COMMENTS 52

  1. USGIRL95

    Posted by USGIRL95 on September 8, 2014 at 17:45

    I totally get it, yea I remember going through those stages, earliest was almost six years ago. I didn’t want to ‘ve crushs’. on guys that were into sex, or doing drugs doing under age drinking, they were unsaved, they were in a bad cword, I said no I’m instered in dating/friendship’. I was thirteen years old at the time, the guys u end up meeting re true Christians’/.
    this is my friend James advise don’t view them as crush’s view as your brothers in Christ’. I was struggling with this like crazy’. for two years Its was really, rough on me, I ‘h few crush’s one guy’ from gym one for a short time, he got trouble from that Christian school PK-8 grade.
    he was suspened at tail end of the year he ‘h a girlfriend we re just friends, that friendship was very short, also he wasn’t Christian I was very angry I saw that summer five years ago’. cried my eyes out, I thought I trusted that guy as a friend, he went into the back with his female friends, I said to him not friends anymore, he knew why’/. its to long a story to explain,
    he said I missed u not enough to apologize to me, he was 12/12/ turning 13 that fall, I did try to wintess to him by my auctions, & how I talked behaved, he chose to act like a goat to this day I still prey for him, let the Lord deal with his life, maybe someday I ‘ll recondsider his friendship if its the Lord’s will’.

    I ‘h another guy I used to go church with this guy Micah, we were in Sunday School together for a while than separted, also in VBS together, KIDS club, we were friends back late 90’s since toddlers, we were in nursery also, did a lot of kids stuff with the other kids inspite of my past nonverbal days, my Church did stuff like labor day pinic;s & 4th of July, for a while than stopped as I got older, did youth group for a short time, help with Awana for a short, time, I don’t know if he’s was Christian or not? its hard to tell at times, he helped with VBS the last few years
    I was there, in Sunday School together again for a while on & off, in my teens.
    I ‘h a crush on him, for two years, 14/16/12’/. years old. sadly I was sixteen half years old he changed didn’t to me or say hi, its was upsetting, me the others were doing to me’. I was hurt’. by it, Mar 2012, I ‘h it, I was falling down from my Christian, walk I said to him one time, he ingroed, me, I felt like I did something wrong I emailed my friend James, bout I’m not happy being ingroed, James could tell, I was hurting, I was crying on that service project,. I ended that friendship with Micah I ‘h for so long its was heart breaking,

    Micah used to me tease for the fun of it, I did forgive in my prayer over time,

    I am friends with James to this day’. I did let him hug me!!! he ‘h more long suffering I use old English when speaking sometimes, I first met him at VBS at my old church thirteen years ago, the week of my six birthday, and his older sister now college senior at my state College, James now a College sophomore at Grove City College,
    use to see him a lot at homeschool teen club, nearly three years, two years that all changed, its a long story, its was really hard on me, I started the whole crush thing all over again, like I did when I was sixteen half years old, I did ‘ve a crush on him at the sixteen half,
    James told me, we re just friends, I was ok with that its was rough for me,
    he ‘helped get trough it from going through the Bible,
    he told me view as your brother in Christ not your crush Jessica. he’d let me get hugs as much I needed’. he is my brother in Christ!!! I view him that!! not a crush, he was homeschooled also, he made me laugh with his jokes, puns, they were funny, at his homeschool graduation May 31/13, that’s was hard for me to face it meant he was leaving home soon, I wept after the cemoery, its was him the classmates of his, James, held my hand, took me out to another room in his church another friend Lizzy’s church,. I was in tears, of sadness, I ‘d cry of sadness, I’m glad that he with me, did mange to keep quite of some stuff, my father wanted to get out in a hurry,
    other people told my father let your daughter ‘ve the time with James & teens, I ‘h self images issue, still read the Bible, from the phew, I ‘d not dare to let go of his hand, I tried to lock the door at the church he kept me from doing that,
    he called me out, Jessica its alright what happened don’t worry bout it leave it in the Lord’s hands, he did mange to let me, get very close to him, not before that nite, I was rather calm around him,
    did a lot of walking around with the 2 other homeschool grads & homeschoolers, homeschool grads from class of 11. being on the spectrum disorder makes it hard for me to make friends, I put my hair down so he could see it, I thought my hair was shedding James looked at the back its not shedding its growing, u re not ugly Jess/Jessica u re beatfull in God’s eyes’.
    after I left the socal of the graduation I was crying more & more it got worse, I emailed him, he said thank you for coming, did email him through early summer should gone out to see him & his sister, I still regret it, I was seventeen , turning eighteen, I was begning to be quite, I still got Bible veres every Sunday, I was not smiling much anymore, I’m not mently the same nor emoitly the same, I suffered from depression after I did my last email after his last email, next Sunday I wasn’t talkative or wanting to do much anymore,
    shouldn’t ‘ve been in the chat room, should ‘ve followed his advise on that, I did cutting, on my upper wrist area, I fell away from the Lord again, I didn’t want to read much, I barley went out, expect, for horseback riding. other than that I did nothing much, expect youth group.
    I didn’t eat much, I missed James so much. this was all a year ago’.! I’m not crying much, anymore I’m preying to able attend college admission that is for high school senior’s at GCC’. 10/25/14, I’m leaving in the Lord’s hands, I still miss him, not as much I did, a year go in September James helped me h.w. to deal with it, I can still email when he gets back to his home in my state, the week of Thanksgiving. hope to see him & his sister together also 10/25/14.

  2. patientlywaitingforGodsplan

    Posted by patientlywaitingforGodsplan on September 7, 2014 at 12:46

    I’ve told a guy I liked him, but as the year went on, I found that maybe that wasn’t true. Now I want to tell him that I don’t but at the same time I feel like I messed up the friendship at the beginning and it might be hard to recover it. Because I miss that friendship. The other problem I’m having is that he has a girlfriend now. I don’t want to appear like I’m trying to get between them. I respect her and think she’s cool and I don’t want to ruin a potentially long lasting relationship between the too by trying to reestablish at least a so-so relationship. Is there any advice you could give me on that?

  3. GrayC

    Posted by GrayC on August 15, 2014 at 16:42

    So how do you not chase him and still be friends. Like I’m good friends with him and I’m pretty comfortable around him but sometimes i have to stop myself from hugging him or being affectionate to him. I dont want to chase him nor do i want to go to limits to have him chase me. I only want him to pursue me if he feels the same. So what i really chasing a guy?

  4. Project Inspired

    Posted by Robin Lily on July 30, 2014 at 07:11

    Hey,I was hoping someone could help me with my “crush situation”. We both do attend church. It, was in December of last year,that we officially started talking.I remember on Facebook,i sent him, a plain and simple message “Merry Christmas”. He randomly,told me hey you know do you text,because at the time it was easier for him then messaging online. I gave him, my number and from that day on we texted everyday.It,seemed so soon that we just opened up with each other extremely fast.Everyday,we texted and attended church for the regular services on Sunday’s and Wednesday’s. The more we texted,the more closer we got.At,this time he was in a relationship with some girl,although this didn’t effect our friendship one bit,his girlfriend and I became closer…although all the time I felt like the awful -thirdwheel-…I didn’t let that end our friendship..and he hung onto me and always told me how much he cared about me.It,was about in March,or April I think that him and his girlfriend broke up,he was depressed for so long…seeing his pain,hurt me worse than the pain of seeing him in this break up.As,time went on things kinda broke off a bit,our friendship…narrowed away,shortly and termed off,i was so hurt.One day,i texted him…and said can we start over this whole friendship thing,and be friends again,to forget the past.He agreed,and none of the mistakes from the past have ever been brought up again.As,time went on,i felt closer to him,we don’t call each other,names like someone would in a relationship,because as of now,we are expecting nothing but a friendship.Time,progressed and my feelings for him grew deeper.We,hang out a lot,he wipes my tears when I cry,he tickles me and jokes around when im depressed,just so he can make me smile..he’s nothing but a good guy..i know this because,hes never touched me like that,and hes never tried making moves on me..hes sweet and a respectful gentleman.I have never in my life felt this way about someone before,i am 16 and he is 18..no guy has ever made me feel this way.He is handsome and special,and when hes not around,im extremely depressed.One day,i asked him where exactly does he see this friendship going? Will,we ever be together his answer was simple and fair, he said.”I cant say no,but I cant say yes”..and I left it at that we haven’t brought up our feelings for awhile, yesterday…he had just returned from camp,and I hadn’t seen him or barely texted him for 2 weeks,nothing felt much different after he had returned,we hung out as normal we laughed,and talked flirted..but after we went to dinner,something inside my heart hit me hard. I began to shut down for a while…he sat close by me locking eye contact,asking constantly ,tell me whats wrong? please…I coudnt I wanted to ask him how he felt about me,but im to scared to hear his reply,im to scared that my curiosity will ruin this friendship…if anything I just wanna give us a chance…instead I stood their all I could do was cry..he comforted me he hugged me and rubbed my back,dryed my tears,,by then it was to late to ask him what I was so nervous to ask him…he was gone and I felt an awful regret in my gut.Were hanging out again today,and he said im gonna need to ask him what it is that’s bothering me…I just don’t know what I should do…should I ask him?? Or should I remain quiet!? I so badly,want his similar feelings….should we talk in person or text? I would prefer to text,but my nervousness gets the best of me.

  5. jesus101

    Posted by jesus101 on July 17, 2014 at 21:07

    I told my crush I like him and stuff really didn’t change with him. The last big crush before him I told and he liked me bake and we talked all the time before he moved. So I’d say go for it.

  6. Project Inspired

    Posted by Keepthefaith on July 11, 2014 at 21:59

    I’m fourteen and I’ve liked this guy since I was eleven. Part of me really wants to tell him how I feel, but the other part of me is scared of rejection and of losing the friendship that we spent years building. I’ve known him forever ad he’s the same age as me. What do I do??

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Robin Lily on July 30, 2014 at 07:18

      I feel in the exact same situation. Although, he is 18 and I am 16. If you honestly,truly know him very well,and you two have become close friends…and trust is a valid thing between you two,if you think he could have feelings for you,pray about it first..then proceed on to asking him how he feels,rejection may happen but,what if it doesn’t happen and he feels the same way back,dont live your life worrying,its what ive been doing for too long! Good luck, I will pray for you,please pray for me as well!

  7. freedomlights

    Posted by freedomlights on May 25, 2014 at 23:36

    I’m not the type of girl to have a ton of crushes, and over the span of seventeen years of life, I could count the amount of “serious” crushes I’ve had on one hand. Of the less-than-give guys I’ve liked, I’ve directly told two that I liked them. (They were and still are both strong Christians, and despite what went down, I’m still friends with both of them.) The first was in eighth grade (yikes), and the second was actually just a week ago. I told them both the same way––a written note. I started off being really good friends with both, so I trusted them. And both times I kept names out of it, just in case it got dropped on the floor or something.

    The first time in eighth grade, the guy ended up liking me, too. We never officially dated because he wasn’t allowed to, but we did like each other for almost a year or so. The most recent one didn’t like me back, but after I told him I didn’t want it to harm our friendship, he said he understood and even acknowledged that it was probably hard for me. He said thank you, but he wasn’t interested. I was obviously a little sad, but I’m mainly just glad he was so nice about it and our friendship is fine. It’ll take time to allow my feelings to fade, but at least I have an answer and can focus on looking ahead.

    So yeah. Just based off of my experiences, I’ve found it’s really good to let the guy know how you’re feeling. Even in the latter situation, I was able to hear directly from him that he wasn’t interested, so despite it stinging a little, I got the clarity I needed to start getting over it.

    Good luck to anyone thinking about telling their crush they like him! (:

  8. Project Inspired

    Posted by Vanessa.gomez on May 9, 2014 at 18:50

    I like this guy..He liked me a lot last year..so did i .. then my friend said i did not like him and then he started acting differently. then the next year came girls said he liked me again then he met a girl and he is always hanging with her. he is only nice to her. And he is kind of rude now. How do i tell him i Like like him with out him laughing in my face.He likes my best friend. its hurts me and my best friend even says he likes her and laughs in my face.I cant take him out of my mind i torture my self think about that he likes another girl.He is always sticking up for me and my best friend but mostly my best friend. PLEASE HELP!

    • leonals_48

      Posted by leonals_48 on June 1, 2014 at 22:13

      You can’t let this guy get between you and your best friend. If y’all are truly best friends, would this really get in between you two? Take a step back from the situation and clear your mind a little bit .There might be another guy who likes you and he’s probably someone that you DON’T have to fight with your best friend over. But first, and always above all things, take it to God.

  9. Project Inspired

    Posted by MissNatalie on April 19, 2014 at 09:04

    I’d been going to school with “Dan” for maybe 6 years or so, but we didn’t really become friends until last fall. We discovered we had so much in common: we’re both the second oldest in families with many siblings, both very religious, we both love music and marching band, etc. One of the scariest moments of my life was saying “Dan, can I tell you something? …I like you,”. His response? “I like you too.” And the rest is history! We’ve been together for almost six months now and I feel more and more blessed every day to have him in my life(: telling him was definitely worth it!

  10. Project Inspired

    Posted by Arwen on March 21, 2014 at 13:43

    This is so perfect!!! I just made the decision to tell my best guy friend that I maybe, kinda, sorta “like like” him. (In all honesty, I like him a lot. He’s awesome.) I wish I had seen this before, but the advice is perfect and it’s exactly what I did! I gave him a note, and we’ll see what happens… :3 I’m not really even looking to take it to the “next level” at this point, so to speak; I’m just curious as to what he thinks. But I’m pretty nervous about it, and the advice about not chasing after a man is so true!!! And it is something I will keep reminding myself of all the time. Thank you so much for this!!!

  11. Project Inspired

    Posted by Kaylaebarnesdork on March 20, 2014 at 10:17

    So I REALLY like this guy whose in the army, He’s away quit a bit, at first I didn’t think he liked me but I have a small suspicion that he might, I am still pretty sure he doesn’t know that I like him. But I kind of want him to know and then I kinda don’t.what should I do?

  12. Project Inspired

    Posted by Momo on March 19, 2014 at 19:11

    I love the no chasing one. Especially about how we should still focus on God. :) And of course, prayer.

  13. Project Inspired

    Posted by GabrielleLyon on March 19, 2014 at 18:47

    Okay I MIGHT like this guy. But this guy is my best friend, I KNOW he likes me but I’ve turned him down before, but I’m realizing slowly that I might be falling for him. Falling in love with who he is… but I don’t know what to do! I’ve turned him down before! How can I just turn around that like?!?!

  14. codykatiebelle

    Posted by codykatiebelle on March 1, 2014 at 18:38

    What if the boy I like is my best friend? We have been friends for as long as I can remember, and I do not want to hurt that. I have dated a few other guys before, but I never liked them; I just wanted to hide the fact that I love him. He is not a christian, and I know that I should not date a non-christian, but I want to so bad. One big problem is that he likes my friend. It hurts so bad when you know that the person you love doesn’t like you back.

    • Jewls

      Posted by Jewls on March 19, 2014 at 21:28

      Hey! I feel your pain in this situation! I had a major crush in this one boy since I was in 8th grade and now I’m in 10th. I invited him to come to my youth group and told all of my friends that I was finally going to get my crush to come but then one of my friends started to flirt with him! Now both of them like each other and it really hurts! I find myself not wanting my friend to have a nice birthday and other things like that but I know deep down that it’s just what happens. I’m really sorry to hear that you are having the same type of problem and I’ll pray that you will get the strength to pull though it no matter the outcome. Especially since your crush isn’t a Christian I think you should just take a step back and let your feelings simmer down… And believe me I know it won’t be easy to do that!! Ask God to help you with that! Love, Jewls

  15. nanikai

    Posted by nanikai on September 29, 2013 at 14:31

    There’s a guy that I met at high school camp and we became and are still good friends.. Lets call him J .. anyways Over time I developed strong feelings towards J.. And I strongly believed that J was in deed the guy God had for me.. But I began to let my girly feelings take over and I didn’t relize it but J became a huge distraction in my walk with God ..so I really just had to pray and seek the Lord.. And now instead of thinking about it and trying to work things out on my own.. I’ve decided to continue being friends with J but not looking at him as a crush.. But a brother in Christ.. And I try not to let my emotions get in the way.. Because I just want to be completely focused on God.. And in Gods timing when he knows I’m ready he will bring some one into my life weather its J or not.. I will be satisfied :) because I know its God’s will and He knows best..
    I hope this helps someone.. Girlies may we just keep seeking God’s will because he knows best.. And he has a special some one for each one of us..
    :D

    • bethanygb879

      Posted by bethanygb879 on March 19, 2014 at 18:13

      Thank you for posting that. It can be really hard for girls who lobe romance to wait. Especially while watching many others go out and have relationships. I pray God helps all of us move closer to Him when He has different plans than a boyfriend for a period of time! :)

  16. child-of-the-one-true-King

    Posted by child-of-the-one-true-King on September 13, 2013 at 07:18

    I’ve had a crush on a guy for 3 years. I am currently 13, but i’ll be 14 in a little less than a month. He is 16. I have known him all of my life (but we’re not like best friends or anything) and I think I love him. He is shy, but he still talks to me when I see him. He is so sweet and he is a super genius (he skipped two grades, I skipped one). I really wish he knew I like him, but I just can’t bring myself to tell him. He is a christian (I know him through church). I really feel I need to tell him, but I don’t want it to be awkward between us (and I have prayed about it). Please help!!! What do I do?!?!

    • BekahBlue32

      Posted by BekahBlue32 on March 19, 2014 at 19:05

      Hi…can I call you c.o.t.o.t.k. for short? Nevermind- I just wanted to say that that’s so cool that you can actually talk to this guy- I wish I could say I could do it with the guy I’ve known for six years (though I have only noticed greater feelings for him since last august.) We hardly ever talk. Like the only time I can say we’ve had a conversation that went past the whole, “hi” and not keep walking down the hall way, has only happened less than five times. So yea, the first thing I wanted to say- you’re so luckyyyyyy.
      Second, Oh boy do I know how you feel. This past month alone I was wondering, “should I tell him? He has a bit of a right to know, after all his younger brother told me he liked me before, wouldn’t it just be a bit of a help to him?” ….and then three seconds later, “What am I thinking- if his brother is wrong- this’ll be soooo awkward every time I see him at church- this is not happening!”
      So, after a month going up and down about this- praying and asking God all the while when anything throughout the day reminds me of him (which, by the way, was a lot) I got frustrated and I obsessed over him too much- which then messed up my entire routine of daily life. And with that I began asking God, “I just want to know if I should be do something or not- can you just tell me…something?” And just when I was begining to think this would just work out of being his friend and doing something when we started to talk again; God in his own way, through my crush’s younger brother’s words, said not going to happen. According to him, his four year crush over me was over. That hurt. You can assume there was an almost mental breakdown later that night. But, I’m happy that God told me before I did something totally wrong and totally did make the relationship awkward. And even though it’s only been less than a week, and I still feel hurt and almost angry about this whole thing when I see him at church or if I just think of him; I am noticing that I’m recovering from it a lot better than anything else I’ve gotten over before.

      Now I’m not saying that God is eventually going to tell you no- He might decide to help you speak the best words to tell your feelings to him, and he might even say he feels the same- my main point about all of this throughout this entire paragraph of jibberish is this: Just wait a little longer; God will give you an answer. It might take you a whole month like me- or whole month(s) ( i really hope that won’t be it for you =[ ) In the long run, that option will be better. I hope this has helped you.

  17. Mayday

    Posted by Mayday on September 11, 2013 at 23:31

    I’ve liked a guy for somewhere between 7 & 9 years (I know what camp it was, but not the year…) and he and his family are good friends of ours. About a year and half into m liking him, they moved and I’ve seen him like 3 times since (I didn’t see him much to begin with). I saw him recently and my heart jumped so hard I thought everybody could tell. I think about him all the time (and I know he doesn’t have a girlfriend), and anytime I think of finding a boyfriend, I think what if he likes me? He absolutely amazing, and I sooo want to tell him how I feel. I’m not against girls telling guys, but I feel it’s a lot more special and meaningful if the guy makes the first move (yeah, I’m a bit old fashioned. :) ), and I think his family believes the same. I’m feel so lost in what to do, and I’ve prayed about it, but I’m not hearing anything. What should I do?

    Also, I hear about courting a lot, but I don’t actually know what it is or how it differs from dating. I’d love to know more about it.

  18. Busygirl996

    Posted by Busygirl996 on August 29, 2013 at 13:12

    I’ve known the guy I like for about 15 of my 16 years, he was my first crush and I’ve had an off and on crush on him ever since. He however moved away when I was four and I’ve seen him a few times since, but in the most recent I felt like I actually got to know him. I don’t want to tell him first off because I don’t want to risk it making our friendship awkward or anything (not to mention that as far as North to South goes we live just about as far as you can get without being outside the US). But also I want him to pursue me, because if he feels the same I want him to make the first move (yes I am a modern girl who’s still old fashioned). It gives him more of a backbone and shows how much he cares. :-) I miss him like crazy but I know I can wait to see him again. He doesn’t distract me from everything else in my life and to top it all off I love his family and he’s a Christian :-)

  19. Project Inspired

    Posted by marigomez21 on August 25, 2013 at 14:54

    Ok here’s the thing. I have known this guy since I was 11 and he was 10 and now I’m 15 and he’s 14. I really like him, but the problem is that he’s my neighbor. and me and his sister are like best friends. And i also have 2 brothers ( one 15 and the other 16) and they don’t want me dating. On the other hand my mom doesn’t care if I date. Well anyways, we are what you can say good friends and me and him sometimes mess around with each other. Like playful fighting I guess and I feel so normal around him. But he has a girlfriend and his sister says that he likes me… so im confused here.
    I honestly feel like I dont need a boyfriend and i try to convince myself that im too young and its just a crush. I pray and ask God what to do, but i still dont know…. I just want it to fade away and I need some advice. PLEASE!!! HELP ME!!!

    • Sarah Nicole Love

      Posted by Sarah Nicole Love on October 3, 2013 at 14:24

      hi um…….I think that he Is confused himself, he likes the other girl and could like you as well. Maybe he is afraid that if he tells you how he feels about you that it could mess up the great friendship that you guys have. also I don’t think your too young to be in a relationship if you really have feelings for someone. But that’s your choice if you don’t want a relationship then don’t have one or your not ready for one then wait. I have a brother just one, but if a boy were to hurt me or my heart, my brother would be seeing someone the next morning and having a little talk. Your brothers probably are just watching out for their little sis they are also probably trying to save you a lot of heart ache. I am 14 years old and guys our age tend to not know what to do around a girl sometimes. one time I had this guy tell me he liked me then asked me out and then we broke up but still have feelings for each other, but for a long time we didn’t talk and I had sooooooooooooo much heart ache. Now everything is ok between us because the both of us had to grow up some and figure things out. He is like one of the most guys I would go to about a problem or help or just a serious talk, a shoulder to cry on. I still have strong feelings for him, sometimes I feel like I am in love with him, but I am still not sure about that. I think that he still likes me as well, because we are always messing around and teasing each other I tell him just about everything. I think that since you guys seem to have such a close friendship that a relationship will form on its on. I hope this helped you!!!!!

  20. BEaUty

    Posted by BEaUty on August 9, 2013 at 14:50

    My parents have been divorced since I was 4, and I grew up without my dad in my house. I still saw him, but it’s not really the same. So growing up, I had some pretty big issues with being fickle, and needing male attention. If a guy so much as looked at me and smiled, I had a crush. And far too often, I told him, and nothing came of it. This just fueled the fire of me needing to find a boy that liked me and actually wanted to be with me. This took place for far too long, like, from middle school until half way through my sophomore year of high school. After that, I met and became friends with one of the best people out there. Let’s call him “Nick.” Nick and I have been best friends for over 2 years, and at the beginning of our friendship, when I realized that I liked him, I promised myself that I would wait until God called him to make a move because I got tired of being the first to move. I want to be pursued this time. He is one of the strongest Christians I know, he wants nothing more than to be more like the Lord. And if nothing ever happens, I’ll still have the world’s best friend. I won’t have made things awkward, or made our friendship weird. And I’m so thankful God took me to that place at the early stages of my friendship with Nick.

  21. Deportistachica99

    Posted by Deportistachica99 on August 8, 2013 at 07:05

    My friends actually went up to the guy I like one day when I wasn’t there, and just told him that I liked him. When I found out, I was mortified, but it turned out not to be such a big deal. I mean, we made an agreement to just pretend like that never happened, but things didn’t turn out as bad as I though they would.

    • brightchild99

      Posted by brightchild99 on August 21, 2013 at 15:12

      when I was in 6th grade I had a crush and my friends did that to me. but at my school it is a huge deal. I think my school is too dramatic……..

  22. Project Inspired

    Posted by bpassero97 on August 1, 2013 at 17:06

    My friend told me that I should tell the guy I like (let’s call him Eddie) that I liked him. I wasn’t so sure, so I prayed to God asking if I should tell Eddie I liked him. I then saw Eddie’s name all over the place as well as the word “yes”. Then what really convinced me to do it was I was listening to this Christian radio station and the dj was saying how sometimes we have to make really hard decisions but if we pray to God He will lead us in the right direction and a song that made me think of Eddie was playing in the background. I then wrote him a letter telling him how I felt. I was so scared because he was one of my best friends and I didn’t want to ruin what we had but I did it because I knew God wanted me to. A couple of days later Eddie told me that he didn’t like back. I was heartbroken but I knew that it was what God wanted. But on the bright side: Eddie and I are still best friends and we just act like none of it ever happened!

  23. Project Inspired

    Posted by CrankItLikeAChainsaw on July 31, 2013 at 19:11

    Okay.
    So…there’s this one guy. Let’s call him Carl. (attractive name, I know). I’ve known him a little over a year and in that time we’ve become like best friends. I hadn’t seen him in like, ages until this past week where I was in PA at a week-long camp thing. When I saw him, we hugged, talked a while, and then hung out pretty much all week. On my way home, I was thinking about how much more I miss him this year compared to last year. I kept thinking and thinking and I realized I totally like my best friend! I don’t wanna tell him because I don’t wanna ruin our friendship, but I want to because I don’t want to keep it bottled inside. I’ve been talking to a couple of my friends and they both say to tell him and then just sit back to let him control it, but I’m really scared of what he’ll say in response. I’ve prayed for God to take my feelings toward him away but it’s not working. I just have no idea what to do.

    • godlovesme316

      Posted by godlovesme316 on August 11, 2013 at 20:44

      i <3 your user name!

      advice: just say hi to him each morning, or when you next see him, that is what i do with my crush, who just happens to be the GUY of MY DREAMS (totally true, for the past yr, i have dreamt him: at our wedding( the reception), honeymoon, holding our son, comforting me when one of my pitties died)..i mean for the past two weeks, i wake up early, cuz Bree (the one who will die in a couple of years) hates the heat, so i have to walk her in the cool of the day. anyway, my love and i keep passing each other (he is on the XC team @ CSUSM) and he says 'good morning' each time; once we said it at the same time..lol! I have yet to tell him my feelings, but i think he already knows. i hope you find my advice a little helpful!

  24. Project Inspired

    Posted by MercyLove on July 30, 2013 at 23:12

    I’ve really liked this boy since I was barely twelve and I’m almost sixteen now. It’s been hard for me, because he moved almost a thousand miles away before I turned thirteen. I see him and his family several times a year; his sisters are really close friends, and his mom is like my second mom. I’ve never told anyone besides my two closest friends (not even his sisters) because my family and his are VERY strict about dating/relationships, and I’m afraid of…well, I’m not exactly sure, but I just don’t want them to know. This boy (let’s call him Sam) and I are good friends, but I always feel a little bit sad when he calls me his sister, or confides his secret chrushes to me. The worst that could happen if I tell him how I feel is him being too embarrassed to speak to me, and/or telling our parents, and I just couldn’t stand that. :( I don’t know if I’d rather risk it, or try to be content with being in the friend-zone. We couldn’t date, because of family rules and distance, but I wish he knew, just for the sake of my sanity.

  25. cuteykittygirl75

    Posted by cuteykittygirl75 on July 29, 2013 at 10:07

    I want to tell him that I like him, but I’m afraid that we won’t be able to talk to each other like friends without feeling really awkward. :(

    • Rachel Winsor

      Posted by Rachel Winsor on March 19, 2014 at 18:22

      If he really cares about your friendship then things won’t get awkward. I eventually told my best friend how I felt about him, and he told me that he didn’t feel the same way, but he also told me that he wouldn’t let that get in between us and that our friendship was too important to him to make things weird.
      It hurt a little to be turned down, but I’m happy that I don’t fee like I’m keeping secrets from him anymore and that I know where I stand.

    • goatwrangler

      Posted by goatwrangler on August 21, 2013 at 20:02

      Same here! Have a great friendship with a guy who apears to “like” me back, but I afraid if I say anything it’ll squelch it.

  26. Insideoutbeauty19

    Posted by Insideoutbeauty19 on July 17, 2013 at 10:57

    For me….I never been one to tell my crushes that I liked them..though when I was 14, my best friend told my then crush that I liked him and asked if he liked me. It turns out he really didn’t that way it was really more as just as a friend.(And we’re actually good friends now) The only reason I gave her permission to do so was because I was moving several states away and was curious if he liked me or not.

    In the present, I’m now 19. I never dated. EVER. I like a guy now…but I’m still not sure where it will lead. I’m definitely not gonna tell him. If he is the one God has in mind for me…then he will make the first move. Not me. I’m content where I am right now since I’m about to leave for Bible college for 2 yrs. and he’s not going anywhere. I’m content with just being his friend for right now.

  27. Project Inspired

    Posted by mylifeastiff on July 10, 2013 at 21:52

    I like a guy who lives 1 1/2 hours away from me. We are going to work at a camp together next week and I’m really excited! We were in a choir together 3 months ago and he has talked to me almost every day since so it feels like he likes me (I let him take the initiative). We have seen each other a couple of times since then. I don’t know if I should wait for him to say something or go ahead and hint that I like him. But I understand how difficult it would be to be in a relationship living in 2 different cities…help?

    • tory4e

      Posted by tory4e on August 28, 2013 at 13:02

      Girl its like your telling my story! I met this guy in the beginning of the summer and I’ve only seen him three times since then. We Facebook each other a lot and text. And he lives an hour and 15 mins away from me so I don’t get to see him that much, but when we do see each other its like we’ve been best friends forever! I feel like he may like me, everyone says they can tell that he does, he just hasn’t told me. He is 17 and I’m 16, so my parents don’t want me dating yet but they really like the idea of us maybe dating in the future. The only thing is he makes all these “hints” that he likes me, but he just won’t come straight out and tell me! I wish he would just take the initiative and tell me if he does or doesn’t! But even if he never does he is still an amazing friend! Oh and did I forget to mention that he is extremely cute!?

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by mylifeastiff on July 10, 2013 at 21:53

      Like you said, Mandi, about age, we’re both 17 and I’ve never had a serious boyfriend before.

  28. Karis43

    Posted by Karis43 on July 10, 2013 at 19:10

    You want the guy to pursue YOU and show that he’s willing to take some risks on your behalf. But don’t get your hopes up ;) Be very cautious in this area. If you met him at camp, it’s very likely you don’t know his character very well yet. Honestly, you don’t want to go falling for some guy you hardly know! Trust me. <3

  29. Project Inspired

    Posted by CrazyWriter94 on July 10, 2013 at 13:29

    Okay, so there’s this guy I’ve known since I was eleven or twelve. When we were like thirteen or fourteen, we talked a lot, sometimes on Facebook, sometimes at church, and we got along really well. I was extremely guy-shy back then, but I always felt comfortable with him, like I could just be myself and that would be cool, and I really came to respect him.
    Now it’s been a few years. We’re nineteen now, and things are different. We still run in the same circles, we still talk, and we still get along well when we *do* talk, but we’ve both grown up quite a bit — and I’ve developed one enormous crush on him. I don’t mean the giddy, heart goes aflutter whenever his name comes up, can’t look the guy in the eye type of crush. I mean the kind where I’ve known him a long time, and the longer I know him, the more I want to be closer to him. Awhile back, I kinda made a list in my head of the qualities I want in a husband, and I’m still trying to find one that doesn’t apply to him. It’s kinda scary, but it does rather make me smile and groan at the same time when I think of him.
    Okay, now the problem: Like I said, we’ve grown up, and as such, things have changed. For a while, he didn’t really talk to me much, and I really missed him. During that time, he started seeing a mutual friend, and they seemed close, but then they broke it off shortly after she went off to college. While they were together, I kinda got the feeling that he wasn’t comfortable talking to other girls, especially me, but now that they aren’t together anymore, things have gotten a lot easier. Actually, there were couple of times where I almost thought he was interested in me, but there have also been times when he seemed like he didn’t quite know how to talk to me. I keep telling myself he isn’t interested, but I really don’t know.
    Now I’m a little worried. I really like him, but I really want to be friends with him. It would be awesome if he liked me back, but if he doesn’t, then I’m willing to be just friends. I’d already resigned myself to that back when he was seeing the other girl, and I’m okay with it. But I’m afraid he might have realized I like him, based on the mixed signals I’m getting, and since I don’t think he’d tell me outright if he wasn’t interested, I’m afraid he’ll pull away, and I don’t want to lose whatever’s left of the friendship we had when we were younger. All thoughts of “the one” aside, I really like and respect him. I’m not quite sure how to handle the situation, since I don’t want to look like I’m flirting, but I don’t want to close the door on the possibility of a future relationship.
    This shouldn’t be a big deal, but these feelings have kinda been growing in me for years, and nothing I do — trying to think of him as just a friend, focusing on other things, praying for God to take the feelings away — has worked. It doesn’t help much that the girl he went with for a while is quite a bit like me, if that makes any sense.
    I’m not quite sure what I’m asking here. lol I don’t know — maybe I just needed to get that off my chest. Hm… *checks chest* Nope, still there. Drat.
    But what am I supposed to do? The last time I brought it up to my mom, I just started crying because I was so confused. I don’t want this to be complicated, but at least in some central part of me, it is. Help? Advice? I almost wish he’d just start seeing someone else again so I can stand more comfortably in the “friend-zone”.

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Rachel6 on July 26, 2013 at 09:32

      Hey love,

      Life gets a touch sticky, doesn’t it?? Let me start by saying I’m not actually qualified to answer you. The only guy I’ve met who seemed to have all the qualities I wanted was actually dating me at the time. (We’ve broken up since, based on mutual agreement.) Let me recommend a couple things:

      First, read Elisabeth Elliot. I found “Passion and Purity” and “Let Me Be a Woman” very helpful when I was dating my friend and trying to keep my emotions in check.

      Second, as Aysha says, pray! When I started missing him (and this was his suggestion!) I’d pray. I prayed that God would help me put the relationship in His hands, that if we weren’t meant to be together, He’d draw us apart, that no matter what happened, I wouldn’t hurt Mr. B, and that, though I really wanted him to be The One, that God would help me trust Him.

      Third (you may have this one), I’d recommend a friend whom you can talk to about this. I had several. The most helpful were the ones who kept me accountable, who said, “Have you been praying? Are you sure you’re thinking rightly about him?”

      Writer, you’re in a tough spot. Guys change SO MUCH between 18 and 22. I’d say keep your feelings to yourself. And I would say also, there is no easy fix for this. But go read James. “If any lack wisdom, let him ask of God.” “Count it all joy when you encounter trials.”

      When you’re looking at him, when you’re thinking, “Why can’t you say you like me?”, when you worry about how he feels about you…thank God. Thank God for the doubt, the questions, the longings. And then cast them on God.

      God bless.

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by KaylaKakes on July 10, 2013 at 13:47

      Hey Honey,

      I am so sorry about all that you’re going through right now. My heart goes out to you, in so many ways.

      “Seek that Lord, while He may be found; call upon Him while He is near.” Issiah 55:6

      The Lord has made a way so that you can ask Him about things – anything, anytime. He is near to you, and has promise to never leave you or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6). He wants to be near you, and to help you in your time of need, and He loves you so much.

      Now, I want to remind you of something that the Lord has promised you to do in every area of your life if you let Him. Philippians 1:6 says that the good work that the Lord has started, He will be faithful to complete. If you have a future with this guy who is so special to you, the Lord will bring it into reality! Have you heard the song “Already There” by Casting Crowns? The Lord has long ordained your future! He holds your heart in His hands, and promises to never break it; when others break it, He promises to mend it and heal it.

      Stay encouraged! Be of good cheer! The Lord will meet you where you are. He will give you guidance about which way to turn from here. <3

      Love and Blessings,
      Mikayla <3

  30. kellybarta14

    Posted by kellybarta14 on July 7, 2013 at 15:11

    I actually have told a guy I liked him (on purpose) twice. The first time I was only in seventh grade, and just texted him. Haha. But the last time I told a guy (let’s call him Matt) I liked him was on a Mexico mission trip. We had a really nice conversation about life, relationships, and stuff like that. It was just like a movie, no joke! I told Matt, “There’s something I think you should know.” Luckily, from then on, I didn’t feel as nervous around him! :)

    • emrose

      Posted by emrose on January 7, 2014 at 17:15

      That is the craziest thing!!! I met a guy on a Mexico missions trip that I liked for a long time too! OMG(oodness)!!! I have only seen him once since that week, and I have spent many tears over him. Did you ever see “Matt” again? It feels so good to find someone who went through the same thing as me – but isn’t it crazy that it was by doing the exact same thing!?!?!? He is absolutely adorable, but there’s a catch…he’s my best friend’s cousin. So that was how I saw him the one time after the trip, and he’s a little shy. I only remember him calling my name once during the whole trip, so I don’t even know that he’s aware I exist. I must’ve called his name a billion times! I always wanted to go where he went, snuck him candy every day, and I even considered telling his sister that I like him, but that didn’t happen.

      The best part is… he was born exactly 7 days before me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Exact year and everything. I was convinced we were meant for each other and God had planned this experience. But now I think God wanted me to experience heartbreak. And God was teaching me to let it go (from FROZEN!!). I really miss him, but I’ve found a new crush!!! (He was born exactly year after me (same date!!!) but is two grades lower than me, which is kinda weird.

      Sorry to vent this all on you, but I thought it was so coincidental that we both met a cool guy in the same place!!!

      P.S. Where in Mexico did your missions trip take you? Ours was in Ensenada.

  31. Project Inspired

    Posted by misfits@rules on July 5, 2013 at 17:07

    its my friend from third grade he smart and hot we only see each other at church we’re going in seventh grade in different schools in ct i was about to blurt it out in front his face when we saw each other he almost lift me up but my dad no dating until college (thats when i’m 18) i’m almost 12 in 6 months every girl has a bf in my school we are the same

  32. MinnieMolly

    Posted by MinnieMolly on July 5, 2013 at 07:17

    There’s this guy and I really like him and he likes me. And we’ve told each other we like each other. But I’m not aloud to date. My dad said he could talk to the guy about dating me but what if my dad says no? I really like this guy but I don’t know what would happen if my dad decides no! Help?

    • brightchild99

      Posted by brightchild99 on August 21, 2013 at 15:15

      sometimes if you just ask your dad yes he might say no but if this guy really likes you hell wait for you

    • Mandi Pi

      Posted by Mandi Pi on July 5, 2013 at 16:01

      i don’t believe in dating until you’re like 17 or 18 (or maybe even in college), so i can see where your dad would be coming from if he didn’t want you to date…honestly, like i said in my comment, it could just be a crush…but if it isn’t, like some people say to me and i think is a good thing to go by: if you believe you really like a guy and he really likes you, and he’s still in your life when you’re an appropriate dating age (or even just a few years later, depending on how old you are), then it’s likely he could be the guy for you. (: and when i say still in your life, i mean something like, let’s say you’re both still going wherever you met, or he ends up going to the same college, or even something as simple as you keep in touch with him a lot. so i’m guessing the best thing to do is think about it (like, REALLY think about it), PRAY (emphasis there of course), and wait. ask God for guidance, and meanwhile try not to obsess over this guy (which in my experience can be hard, but i don’t know if that’s something you’d do)…and as Aysha said in one of her posts i believe, focus on God instead of your crush, and try spending this time to build your relationship with Him before this guy.

      i’m hoping any of that helped! (:

      and just for the record, the reasons for my firm belief in not dating until you’re like 17-18 are: 1) when you’re really young, maybe 13-14, you’re of course not going to have as much knowledge as when you’re older 2) you need a very strong relationship with God before starting to focus some of your attention on finding a husband, therefore it’s best to wait 3) the ONLY reason you should date someone is if you think you’re could marry them, and most younger people just date because it’s “fun” to have a BF 4) when you’re younger, it’s much easier to make mistakes and get hurt, and it’s much easier to be tempted to do inappropriate things.

      • Mandi Pi

        Posted by Mandi Pi on July 7, 2013 at 05:26

        i know right. all my friends (a lot of whom are 12 years old), have BF’s currently…and my friend always says “gosh, it’s not like we’re making it serious it’s just fun to have a BF!”…which i really don’t get…and i mean, seriously, even if you’re dating for the right reasons (which i doubt they are), have you EVER seen someone under the age of like 16 that’s actually kept the same BF for more than like a month (down to maybe even just a couple days)??!! i certainly haven’t. i just don’t get it…..

      • pjbaseballgirl

        Posted by pjbaseballgirl on July 6, 2013 at 23:09

        I wish I had more of a relationship with God when I was younger for those reasons. I gave away a lot of things to a guy that I was dating when I was fourteen that I wish I knew better to have saved for later. Thankfully I maintained my purity. But really, dating is best saved for an older age. I say age 18 is good. Because, really what are you doing it for if you are not beginning to look for a husband?

  33. Mandi Pi

    Posted by Mandi Pi on July 4, 2013 at 12:31

    as always, Aysha says it perfectly…and it also depends how old you are…if you’re pretty young, it’s probably just a crush. :) trust me, i’m an expert on crushes, as i’ve had a gazillion of them, and they ALWAYS fade away. i thought i was IN LOVE with a couple different guys (one for a looong time), but it faded away. so just think about whether it’s just a crush or not. :)