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Inspiration

Does “Purity” Only Refer to Sex?

purity

Teenagers these days can’t seem to keep their hands off the opposite gender for more than a second…

And I want to say that this generation of teenagers (and yes, even CHRISTIAN teenagers) have it all wrong.

Most of the time, when youth leaders talk about purity, its ONLY about sex. So teens think kissing, etc. is totally okay, and as long as they’re not having sex, they’re TOTALLY pure. Most of the time, when youth leaders talk about boyfriends, they ONLY say that he has to be a Christian.

I’m here to say they have it wrong.

Yes, purity can consist of not having sex before marriage, but it’s also saving yourself for your husband in SO MANY other ways. Being pure for your husband is also restraining yourself from ANY sensual relationship (and by sensual I mean not just friendship) and focusing TOTALLY on Jesus so that when you meet your future husband, you have done your best to be the best person you can be–clean before God and seeking Him instead of messing around with guys.

Song of Solomon is a collection of love letters between an adoring couple and their friends, the onlookers. It shows real, dedicated love. And it also gives some advice to young people from those who have experienced love.

Their advice? “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires”(SOS 8:4). You could also put it this way: “Do not seek out love, but let it come to you when it wants to.” Quick reminder: God is love (1 John 4:8). That being said, you could also put it this way: “Do not seek out love, but let God give it to you when He wants to.”

Let’s face it: When we have a boyfriend or crush, who do we think about more? Who do we think about when we look in the mirror to examine the way that we’ve dressed? Who do we talk to more? (P.S., texts are included…) I don’t think I have to answer that for you.

If we are getting into relationships at our age (10-20), we are no longer focusing on Jesus as the center of our lives. We should be SO passionate about simply ADORING our King that we won’t consider relationships because they take up the attention that Jesus should have!

Written by PI girl, Faith

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Image: Thinkstock | istockphoto

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COMMENTS 97

  1. Jojojojo

    Posted by Jojojojo on June 16, 2014 at 16:50

    Look, this article is so old, but I have to comment. I personally think that it may be hard to have a relationship without any intimacy at all. A good compromise would be to just set the boundary at kissing and hugging.

    Also, I think having a relationship only when you’re twenty-one or above is ridiculous. Having a relationship below twenty doesn’t mean all of a sudden, Jesus is not the focus. Besides, people who can’t put Him in the center at age twenty (and below) still may not do so above this age. Even people get married at nineteen or twenty!

  2. Project Inspired

    Posted by ktuck22 on April 19, 2014 at 21:27

    Okay, I know this was posted forever ago, but hey. I, personally, think kissing before marriage is okay. Not making out, not really passionate or anything. Just a kiss. As long as you know the person well (like, you were good friends before you started, or you’ve been dating for a comfortable amount of time), then kissing is okay, in my opinion. I wouldn’t go any further than that until marriage, though.

  3. AllisonGrace

    Posted by AllisonGrace on December 7, 2012 at 08:14

    This is absolutely ridiculous. I am 18 years old and perfectly capable of handling myself within a relationship. I would never date someone that I had no intention of marrying. I plan on allowing my children to date when they turn 16. Any earlier is pointless, but 20?! My parents were married by then. My boyfriend has actually been what’s influenced my relationship with Christ to become stronger.

  4. Project Inspired

    Posted by Kris Serbina on November 8, 2012 at 05:50

    Does holding hands count as being pure? And like friendly hugs? But not all the guys but the guy that you really love, and loves you back, he’s also christian and he respects that you cant kiss and stuff, but what about holding hands? I want your opinion ppl….. thnx

  5. Project Inspired

    Posted by Kris Serbina on November 8, 2012 at 05:49

    Does holding hands count as being pure? And like friendly hugs? But not all the guys but the guy that you really love, and loves you back, he’s also christian and he respects that you cant kiss and stuff, but what about holding hands? I want your opinion ppl….. thnx :)

  6. Project Inspired

    Posted by JanetGrace on November 8, 2012 at 04:30

    That is sooo true. Lord help me focus :)

  7. Project Inspired

    Posted by potatoes on November 5, 2012 at 15:44

    I really don’t think this is true. I’m 15 and have a boyfriend.. and not only did we both pray and pray and pray beforehand to make sure it was okay, we’re still keeping God at the center of our relationship. I get that I’m probably the exception to the rule, but “If we are getting into relationships at our age (10-20), we are no longer focusing on Jesus as the center of our lives” IS legitimately a false statement.

    • atla_bee

      Posted by atla_bee on February 13, 2013 at 11:16

      The same for me. It drives me crazy when people tell me to wait until I’m 30+ to get married. Like, I get their point generally but honestly, I think it’s relative to each individual person/relationship and their relationships with God.

    • Project Inspired

      Posted by Kris Serbina on November 8, 2012 at 05:52

      Thats very true… and i agree with you “potatoes”, we can still have a good relationship at the age of 10-20 but have God in the center of it all!

  8. alliemariesmith

    Posted by alliemariesmith on November 2, 2012 at 18:26

    There is also an issue of emotional purity- not being caught up in getting attention from boys. I got that from my youth leader’s wife, and I thought I’d add that in.

    @Cherie VanCleave

  9. Project Inspired

    Posted by cupcakegirl223 on October 6, 2012 at 20:28

    good article:)

  10. Hockeygirl

    Posted by Hockeygirl on October 2, 2012 at 16:25

    So I can’t kiss my boyfriend?

    • K@ty

      Posted by K@ty on January 20, 2014 at 09:30

      I think that depending on your age (high school +) it is okay and depending on the place. For instance, kissing on your bed with your door shut is NOT okay, but kissing goodbye on your doorstep after a date is okay. Just make sure you both have set limits and that you stick to them.

  11. Project Inspired

    Posted by drummer14 on September 25, 2012 at 15:30

    All of my friends have boyfriends and that pressures me into thinking that i need one 2. i like this article cuz it makes me feel like im doing the right thing by never having a boyfriend

  12. KingsDaughter

    Posted by KingsDaughter on September 9, 2012 at 06:23

    I have a purity ring, i’ve had it for almost a year now…and my mother made me read this book called “Waiting for Prince Charming”, and it was a story about a princess who had to get married. this prince who was full of himself wanted to marry her right away, but she said no, because she knew he wasn’t the right one. she waited…and waited, and WAITED and finally, her TRUE prince charming came :D

  13. onfire4god

    Posted by onfire4god on September 8, 2012 at 08:07

    I think this is totally true. It’s also keeping your thoughts pure too. I think this is the hardest one for all of us.

  14. Project Inspired

    Posted by LoveisHere14 on September 4, 2012 at 10:58

    I believe, that if you think lustfully or dress immodestly then you are losing some of your heart. I have never kissed anyone, I wish I could say that I never got emotionally involved with guys but I would be lying. I think that if you can wait (doesn’t have to be till your wedding day) to kiss, then that’s an accomplishment. On the other hand I think you should wait to have sex till your married. nuf’ said ;)

  15. Project Inspired

    Posted by MOLLYLOVESGOD on August 28, 2012 at 11:19

    i like this artical

  16. Project Inspired

    Posted by live life to the fullest on August 18, 2012 at 17:13

    In the Bible it says that it is good for a man not to touch a woman… also to flee youthful lusts… don’t give into thoughts of young men, it will only lead to sin. God thinks of sin as anything we think, say or do!! He hears every thought we have and is not too pleased either.

  17. Project Inspired

    Posted by cara beth on August 14, 2012 at 22:09

    my ant she made a promis to not kiss anyone uless that was the one god gave her and she kep to her word and her first kiss was when my uncle chris perposed to her. Also he asked my grand parent if he could perpose to her. Sweat right. I think i am going to be like my ant and wait for god to give me the right one. :)