hi! so I have liked this guy for about a year now, but he’s…24 and im 15… but I know that hes the one im supposed to marry and I can tell he knows to by the way he talks to me. I know he likes me and I don’t know if he knows I like him but people keep telling they think hes going to marry someone ALOT younger then him and people have told me that they they think im going to marry someone older even though I haven’t told anyone about him. one person even told me that they think that me and him would get together when I turn 18. I just want to know what your thoughts are on this. it runs in my family to marry someone older and I just know im going to marry him. I have thought I was going to marry guys in the past but this is different I just know and I know he knows to. I read the article under “LOVE” about “the one” and everything described me and him. thx…sorry if this doesn’t make sense I just kind of want your thoughts on this lol
|February 28, 2015 at 08:50|
How about study your spelling and grammar first before you worry about marriage. You’re 15 for crying out loud. #sorrynotsorry #tellingitlikeitis
|February 28, 2015 at 21:29|
Hey! I think your best bet is to pray about it! God knows exactly what you need to do and He won’t leave you hanging! Look at His word and let what He would have for you to do be what you listen to rather than the things you think are best orwant to happen! And definitely talk to your parents, youth leaders, or another Godly influence you trust about this for their advice and guidance, it’s what they’re here for! I also notice you said you can tell by the things he says to you, I also just wanted to say not to always just fall for words, sometimes people can say beautiful things when they might not feel that way (not saying he is lying, but sometimes people do this). Definitely praying for you that you get peace on the subject!
|March 1, 2015 at 00:22|
thanks so much! saw him again o Sunday but nothing has changed I guess I will just about to pray about it and see haha thanks!
|March 2, 2015 at 15:06|
I find it kinda suspicious that he’s into someone ten years younger than him. There’s usually a reason why older men can find anyone their own age. Also if you were to start dating right now, it would be illegal and maybe even pedopheliac.
Do you parents know you’re involved with him? Even if you’re not ”officially dating” him. You said you can tell by the way he talks to you, and that’s kinda concerning.
|March 3, 2015 at 19:05|
I agree with @BrokenVessel. This is kinda sketchy at best. You’re 15 and he’s 24? That makes him 9 years older than you, and you are definitely still a minor. I’m sorry girl, but I really think you need to take a major step back from this guy.
|March 4, 2015 at 00:42|
I would just say really talk to your parents 😀 They could give you some really wise advice, plus they see things from another point of view. Have them talk with the guy too!
|March 4, 2015 at 08:03|
thx but I think I know why he’s been avoiding me so much, its because im so young. I have talked to my parents about it to and they think the same thing. he feels bad about his feelings for me. thank you for the advice though!! maybe I should step back to avoid getting hurt
|March 4, 2015 at 08:43|
“Darling 16, going on 17, wait a year or two” (or five… or ten…) 😛
|March 4, 2015 at 09:01|
First, I think it’s really important to realize that there’s no such thing as “the one!”
If your life is centered on God, you could make marriage to just about anyone work. God provides comfort to women who are married to men who aren’t christian by telling them that living christian lives will have a positive impact on their husbands. He also tells christians to marry christians — so, God gives wisdom, but making an unwise choice doesn’t leave you out in the cold. (And for many women at that time, their marriage wasn’t their choice at all, so they’d feel especially alienated if God cut them off for being married to a non-christian). There are probably many good choices you could make about marrying someone — or staying single.
The one? That’s who they become when you stand at an altar and marry them. Then they’re /your/ one.
Granted, Solomon had like 300 wives. Not something I’d recommend. But a case in point that God cares a lot more about your /heart/ than about the exact circumstances of your marriage. So, that it’s a 9 year age gap may not matter at all. But it may also be a red flag. That’s where wise counsel and praying for wisdom come in.
It’s very important to make sure you don’t make this guy an idol. Making someone or something an idle is as simple as getting something you should be getting from God from them. If your security or sense of worth depends on this guy, that’s no bueno. If you find yourself thinking, “Everything’s going to work out, because he’s going to take care of me,” you might be making him an idol. When God is your rock? “Everything might be falling down and falling apart but it’s going to be okay because God’s taking care of me.”
If you and him can’t be together, for whatever reason? It’s going to be okay because God is your rock. If you have to wait three, or five, or ten years to be together? It’s going to be okay because God is your rock. If you have to make the hard decision to break up with him because it’s wisdom at the moment? It’s going to be okay because God is your rock. If you decide to marry him young and deal with disapproval from others? It’s going to be okay because God is your rock.
If he suddenly weren’t in your life, would you still feel secure? If he left you, would you still feel worthwhile? I certainly don’t want to imply that that would happen — but if it did, would God be your security? Your validation? Your sense of worth?
Making sure that God is your god, and that this guy isn’t your idol — that’s way, way more important than your age difference, and way more important than when you get married. If your relationship with God is solid and independent outside of this guy, then when you both come together with your independent and strong relationships with God? You’ll just keep driving each other closer to God.
Here’s a really beautiful story about a couple with a large age difference: http://www.today.com/news/aurora-shooting-victim-surprised-beautiful-wedding-proposal-shine-light-darkness-2D80174445
Their relationship working out required a lot of waiting. It required the guy willing to love her, be there for her, as a friend, without expecting anything in return. Without expecting a relationship. And it was really hard, but he did it, and God made something beautiful out of it.
There’s one thing I can guarantee you of — if you ask God for wisdom? If you seek to understand who he is better, seek to know him better? If you’re brave enough to say hard things, do hard things? Brave enough to be messy and broken? Brave enough to take one step forward, one more day even when it feels impossible? God will make so much beauty out of your life. So much bright and glowing beauty.
|March 5, 2015 at 08:47|
Ok I think if I were you, I would run. Like Broken Vessel said, there’s usually a reason why an older guy likes a younger girl and it’s not because he wants to marry you. The fact that either of you allowed yourself to accept these feelings for each other at such an age difference, in my opinion, shows a lack of maturity for both of you. I’m sorry if that sounded harsh or anything but that’s probably what it is. If he truly likes you with pure motives than he’s probably extremely immature for his age. At 15, marriage shouldn’t be your focus with anyone, let alone a 24 year old man.
|March 7, 2015 at 05:25|
I would prefer a guy who is a few years older(like 1-3).Not 9 years older,I would be careful if i was you because your a teenager,he is a grown man.O_O
|March 10, 2015 at 15:52|
Careful, Kylie. You don’t “know” you are going to marry this guy. You’re only fifteen! As others have mentioned, I find it a tad suspicious that a twenty-four-year-old is pursuing an underage girl – unless you’re misinterpreting his words and actions. That’s a very real possibility. You could be reading way too deep into what is perhaps an innocent attempt on his part to be friendly. How can you “tell” that he “knows” you’re destined to be married to him?
A lot can happen in three years, Kylie. Instead of focusing on this so much, invest in your relationship with God. Don’t neglect the One who made you by running heedlessly after “The One.” That is a recipe for disaster – especially when you’re still underage and the guy you’re interested in is nine years older than you.
Another warning flag I’m seeing is this: “I have thought I was going to marry guys in the past but this is different I just know and he knows to [sic]”
That, right there, tells me you’re not ready for a relationship. You’ve mistaken your feelings before. What’s to say that you aren’t doing the same thing now?
I really love what messy_but_here said, too. It’s easy to let someone – or something – become an idol in your life. And idols often slip in when you least expect them to. Please, please tread with caution.
My biggest piece of advice would be to let GOD be your one true love. If the Lord intends for you to marry this guy – or someone else – He will make it happen in His time. For now, enjoy the last three years of your childhood and don’t rush things. You don’t want to make a mistake.
|March 13, 2015 at 11:24|
At your age, it would be illegal to date him. If it was ten years from now, it wouldn’t be so weird, but I think it is best for you to move on to someone your own age! Best of luck!:-)
|March 23, 2015 at 20:45|
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.