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A Problem that's the Opposite of a Problem

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends High School Girl Talk A Problem that's the Opposite of a Problem

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Kalen 1 year, 6 months ago.

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Hello girlies! (Don’t take that profile pic into account, I haven’t updated it in YEARS!) So I felt like I should get a second opinion on this, and a third, and a fourth… A fifth would be great too! Lol.
Towards the end of 2014 my best friend pointed out that a guy in her youth group seemed to like me. (I’m not a member of her church but I go on the youth trips with them, so I’m sort of an honorary member of the youth group.) I think her exact words were, “If you asked [guy] out, he would probably say yes.”
I kind of freaked out at first because very few guys actually showed any romantic interest in me. We talked about it and my friend said, “It seems like [guy] has always showed more interest in you than in other girls.”
I didn’t believe her, of course. A guy showing interest in me? Unheard of! Lol! Some time passed, I hadn’t seen [guy] in a while, when my friend told me he seemed to not be himself. I felt sorry for him as he is a very shy person. I felt like he could have used a friend, so I reached out to him. (This was earlier this year.) So now, late-night conversations between the two of us is fairly common. I can tell he likes me. It’s so obvious that it almost hurts. I really like being his friend too! And he’s all the good things a girl would look for in a godly husband! Interestingly, he’s not particularly attractive, but is very intelligent and kind. (I could go on and on about all the great things about this guy.)
Then… BOOM… I don’t want to date him. I don’t know why not, but I don’t feel ready to date. I feel so selfish, because I also feel like I wouldn’t get the chance to “shop” for guys. And I know that’s completely wrong of me, but it’s like he’s ready to marry me or something and yet, he hasn’t even asked me out yet.
As a 17 year old gal whose never dated, I’m not ready to start dating for marriage. (I guess I should mention that he’s a graduating senior and I’m a junior. He’s legally an adult and I’m not.) I know God will have His perfect timing, but I’m wondering if I should encourage [guy] or discourage him from the dating scene with me?

Thanks gals!!!

May 19, 2015 at 18:22
Project Inspired


I’m in basically the exact same boat except the guy goes to my church. Anyways, I say just continue to be his friend. Honestly, I know how you’re feeling, but it’s sort of a non-issue unless he gets up the gumption to actually ask you out.

May 21, 2015 at 08:35
Mandi Pi

Mandi Pi

Do you like him at all, or just in a friend way? If you do like him, then I would tell him so, but say you’re just not ready to date yet. No big deal–if he respects you, he’ll wait and you know he’s a good guy, and if he doesn’t want to wait and gives up on you, then, his loss. 😉

If you only like him as a friend, then him liking you is probably just a crush, and just stay his friend and don’t worry about it.

All in all, you aren’t selfish for whatever you choose to do, and while you should do your best to stay kind and speak the truth in love in any circumstance, you don’t have to feel guilty about anything. 🙂

May 22, 2015 at 08:40


@4everhis .
Thanks girl, it’s kind of tough because I’m flattered he likes me, but at the same time, I wish he liked someone else. Lol.

@Mandi Pi
Now there’s the tough question. The feelings I have for him are positive. I like talking to him and I like hanging out with him. I’m pretty comfortable with him (which is somewhat strange since I’m not typically comfortable with guys). I respect him and I know that he 100% respects me.
This guy does not crush easily. My bff has told me that for EIGHT YEARS he liked her sister because he felt a calling from God that he would marry her one day. I find it ironic that he likes me because I had felt a calling from God that I would marry a different guy one day. ([Guy 2] whom I’m not close to at all but we’re friendly acquaintances.) [Guy] hasn’t told me about bff’s sister and I don’t really want to bring it up because I know it would make him uncomfortable. He’s sort of given up on bff’s sister and I’ve sort of given up on [Guy 2], so were we just not hearing God correctly? Or is this a sign that we actually shouldn’t date each other?
I’ve been praying quite a bit about it. Because in all actuality, I think I do like him. So you see, my dilemma that sort of isn’t a dilemma is kind of confusing. :s

May 22, 2015 at 18:34


(Updated my profile pic btw. Lol. This one’s more up-to-date.)

May 22, 2015 at 18:41


So, I realized that I actually don’t like GUY in a romantic way. In fact, I could see myself girl talking with him about the guy I do like. Because GUY 2, as mentioned above, is someone who I just can’t help but feel drawn to. God is really the only explanation for this. He’s telling me that something is going on here. I was just trying to defy God. Thanks so much though girls!

June 4, 2015 at 15:56
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