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A quick TBH but would love to hear your thoughts

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Relationships A quick TBH but would love to hear your thoughts

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This topic contains 15 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  MacDawn1999 4 days, 2 hours ago.

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MacDawn1999

MacDawn1999

Hello! Okay so I recently stumbled upon an old forum about peoples first kiss stories and they were super cute but it also caused me to really thing and so if you would just read this and give me your feedback that’d be great.
So my first kiss was in 7th grade (I know… stupid). I don’t know if he would’ve ever kissed me if I had not anonymously initiated it (long story). But, he asked if he could and me, thinking that I would marry him someday (he didn’t even love God, what was I even doing?!) Anywayyyyy so that happened. Looking back on it, I know that it was an official kiss but I don’t like thinking about it. I had never really thought about saving my first kiss for my wedding day till a long list of tragic, ungodly events I went through in 9th grade (another long story). Now, looking back I really wish I had saved it for my wedding day like SO STINKING BAD. I’ve made the commitment to not kiss anymore till my wedding day (does that sentence make sense? lol) but I wish that I could’ve done more to honor my future spouse. Has anyone else ever gone through this?
It has been something I’ve been thinking about for a while so if y’all have any advice or stories you’d like to share then by all means, I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU.
Thank you!

November 29, 2016 at 11:35
theteenfashionista

theteenfashionista

“Saving your kiss for your wedding day” seems like absolute CRAP! I mean, so sorry, but I feel like that’s one of my huge problems with this site. It seems so judgey!!

November 29, 2016 at 11:49
MacDawn1999

MacDawn1999

Well I mean, nothing against not saving your kiss for you wedding day like its all about personal preference and what you want to do but at the same time i think its sweet.

November 29, 2016 at 12:53
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

I personally wouldn’t do that, but I have friends who are planning on saving their first kiss for their wedding day too and I think its really sweet too, definitely nothing wrong with that.

Don’t feel bad. I’m not sure how to say this without sounding critical, but I think sometimes we obsess too much over “purity”. I do not think you dishonored your future spouse by kissing in 7th grade. Honoring your spouse has more to do with actions that occur when you’re inside the relationship πŸ™‚

November 29, 2016 at 13:06
theteenfashionista

theteenfashionista

@adventuregirl I absolutely agree. “Purity” can’t be measured by stuff like that.

November 29, 2016 at 13:15
MacDawn1999

MacDawn1999

Haha I’m not saying that its the definition of purity or anything. I mean, I’m just wondering if anyone has gone through this as well ig lol

November 29, 2016 at 13:27
theteenfashionista

theteenfashionista

Sorry if I’m being harsh (again!) This is just something I feel kinda strongly about and I don’t like how PI is spreading this save-your-first-kiss for marriage propaganda. It really annoys me. There is nothing harmful about not saving your first kiss for marriage (unless it causes you to fall into temptation.) But usually that’s not the case.
Sorry, sorry again for being harsh.

November 29, 2016 at 14:12
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

Well I do think kissing/etc. is a part of purity, I just think Christians can become legalistic about it. At one youth group I attended (it was a very large, popular church) you weren’t even allowed to hug guys you were friends with. At the time I totally bought into it, but now I’m just like…wow. O_O

November 29, 2016 at 14:39
theteenfashionista

theteenfashionista

I agree so much. As long as stuff like that doesn’t cause temptation, it’s fine. It’s so easy to be legalistic about it, I agree, and even this site can be. In fact, I saw one article where it defined non virgins as “used goods”. Like, your worth is not in your “purity!” it’s in Christ!
@macdawn Of course you know this;) lol sorry again, really, really sorry…

November 29, 2016 at 14:56
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

“Your worth is not in your β€œpurity!” it’s in Christ!” Amen.

I think when people depict women as used goods (or chewed gum–yes, I’ve seen that too :/) they’re saying a woman’s only purpose is sex. Entirely unbiblical.

And as far as that youth group goes– people were created for social interaction, which includes friendship with guys. Aaaaand some peoples’ primary love language is physical touch (in a non-sexual way), so telling people their basically sinning by hugging or whatever is way weird and harmful. (I get that not every church is like the one I attended, but I’ve known tons of people who believe the same way as that youth group I went to).

Sorry kind of venting, but this sort of purity culture annoys me so much.

(To be clear–what I’m annoyed with isnot what McDawn was asking about, like I said, that’s personal preference, definitely nothing wrong with that πŸ™‚ )

November 29, 2016 at 17:15
theteenfashionista

theteenfashionista

Absolutely agreed. Of course “saving your first kiss for marriage” isn’t that kind of legalism, but to me, it kind of endorses the kind of legalism that Adventuregirl is talking about. IMHO πŸ˜‰
But,macdawn, I’m sure you’re not trying to be legalistic. And sorry that I’m like attacking you (you be like, “She’s ruining my thread! Again!” Sooo sorry. But you’re not any less important or good for not saving your kiss, and neither am I πŸ™‚

November 30, 2016 at 06:28
MacDawn1999

MacDawn1999

You guys are the best @theteenfashionista you dont have to be sorry. honestly i love how yall took my topic and made it something different πŸ™‚ i love your point of views, thank you for sharing your thoughts bc that is what i asked for lol

November 30, 2016 at 07:04
theteenfashionista

theteenfashionista

@macdawn Awww thank you. It’s so awesome to have someone that won’t act judgey about another person’s POV, especially if they’re constantly trolling your threads xD.

November 30, 2016 at 11:16
MacDawn1999

MacDawn1999

Hahaha I love it :)))

November 30, 2016 at 11:45
Wolfsmaedchen

Wolfsmaedchen

@MacDawn

There are also some things that I whish I had saved for later and there are things I never ever want to do again outside of a loving and respectful relationship. I regret what I’ve done – but I can’t change the past! I can only do better in the future, and that’s what we should be focussed on in my opinion. And He can make us pure again πŸ™‚ I highly doubt that God will refer to a girl as a “used good” when she asked him for forgiveness and tries to do better under his leadership (that upsets me too, AdventureGirl).

And well, I have kissed 3 boys thus far, but my first kiss with my now-boyfriend was still very special and different from the other ones. So it’s not like you’ll never experience a special kiss again because you’ve kissed before πŸ™‚

My boundaries are a little different from yours, but I hope this’ll still be helpful πŸ™‚

November 30, 2016 at 13:16
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