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Abusive or Not?

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Relationships Abusive or Not?

This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  ktuck22 1 year, 6 months ago.

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ktuck22

ktuck22

I saw the article about abusive relationships, and it got me thinking about something I was recently involved with…
I was “with” a guy (we never dated and we were never official, but we definitely acted like a couple when we were alone and even talked about getting together) who couldn’t decide whether he wanted me or this other girl, but he kept leading me on and telling me that he’d make a decision soon and he still cared deeply for me. So I held on for two months of agony waiting to see if he’d come to me or go to her, and he still was making me feel special, getting alone time with me. But I started to realize that ALL he wanted to do was get me alone, and when he chose her over me, I just couldn’t take it. Even though he was a real lowlife, I still broke down. I harbored hatred for both him and the other girl, even though I knew I shouldn’t hate either one of them.
I don’t know if that counts as an abusive situation, but it sure felt like it. When someone gives you what you think is love and then takes it away day after day, when all you ever feel like doing for two months is crying and hitting something or breaking something, when you start to feel like it’s your fault he didn’t choose you because if you’d just given him what he wanted he might still be there, that sounds like abuse to me. It might not be and I might be blowing this way out of proportion, but he changed me. What he did to me put me into a mood I’d never felt: a mixture of anger, loneliness, brokenness, bitterness, and hatred, and I felt like that pretty much all the time for those two months. He made me less of myself. No one should ever make you less of yourself.
Don’t worry, I’m okay now. I’m back to being me, he’s happily dating neither one of us, so don’t be concerned. I got myself out of there. But I’d like to know: does that count as an abusive situation, or is that just me being dramatic about my feelings?

May 3, 2015 at 19:07
BridgetteMarie21

BridgetteMarie21

If his intention all along was to play both of you, I’m not sure how to describe it. Maybe borderline emotional abuse? I’m not sure, he sounds like more of a jerk (to put it lightly 😉 ) than an abuser. I’m glad you aren’t with him anymore, nobody deserves to be treated like that, you’re worth more than that! 🙂 <3

May 6, 2015 at 08:48
ktuck22

ktuck22

Thank you. Sorry it took so long to reply! It seems I always write posts on here when I’m super emotional, and that was definitely not an exception haha 🙂 yeah he was a really huge jerk and such an idiot, and thank you for your kind words. God bless you 🙂

May 16, 2015 at 18:00
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