normally love Christmas. I’m that girl who goes overboard on presents and stuff. I decorated the whole interior of my house by MYSELF, the day after thanksgiving.
|December 10, 2014 at 13:35|
Oh, I’m so sorry! You seem to have had a really rough time of it, and it seems like your family, though supportive, doesn’t understand well enough to really be supportive in the way you need.
|December 10, 2014 at 15:44|
^ I like what this chickadee said! I don’t know that I can give advice in this situation, but I can attempt to encourage. 🙂
I would never say this except in this situation, but…ignore your mom (in regards to what she says about food). God MADE food. God MADE your body. Your body needs food. Your body turns food into energy and uses that energy. All of this is totally normal. You never have to be scared of eating, unless you’re literally living off of ice cream, cotton candy, and Pringles–which I don’t figure you are. 😉 It’s awesome that you’ve gotten to a healthy weight–keep it up! 🙂 Just relax about it, eat when you feel hungry, and you’ll be fine.
Would you mind explaining (however thoroughly you want to) what asymptomatic depression is? So firstly, do your parents, or any other adults know about your cutting? Secondly, are they doing anything about it? Have they discussed therapy or anything like that with you? If your parents, or no other adults know, then you need to tell an adult! It’s important to get a trustworthy adult involved so that you can get proper help sooner than later; you have so much potential in life, and you deserve to feel 100% okay 100% of the time. 🙂 If an adult already knows, but is not doing anything about it, then you need to strike up a conversation with them about it, talk to them about what you feel like you need to get better, and ask them to take action. If you are not comfortable doing so with your parents, then find another adult and talk to them first. It can be a friend’s parents, a teacher, a pastor, a church leader, an extended relative like an aunt/uncle/adult-aged cousin, anyone who is trustworthy and will take action for you. Just talk to them first, and ask them to help you talk to your parents about it. No matter what, just make sure that someone else is aware of what is happening; you are too special, beautiful, and treasured to continue feeling like you have to hurt yourself.
On the cruise, don’t at all worry about people thinking that wearing shorts to swim is strange–it’s definitely not! Lots of people wear shorts/shirts/other clothing while swimming, it’s not a big deal at all. 🙂
Also, have you heard of the Butterfly Project? If not: http://butterfly-project.tumblr.com/ I’ve been told by a few friends that do cut that this has helped them, so I suggest giving it a try, even if you don’t think it’ll work. Just give it a shot. 🙂
Overall, please remember that you are so so so loved! You were made by the God of the universe in an impossibly specific way for very certain purposes. There is ALWAYS a hope there for you to hold onto, no matter what you feel like, no matter what is happening around you, no matter where you are in life. God IS hope. There is so much worth living for besides the painful things. There are going to be hard times, and I can’t fix that or tell you why, but I can tell you with complete certainty that God is there and He is not letting you go.
Here are some verses, songs, quotes, and a few of my blog posts to help:
1 Corinthians 4:16-18
1 Peter 5:6-7
1 peter 4:12-13
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emgv-VRtMEU (Stronger by Mandisa)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4u_TcXJIbcA (Gold by Britt Nicole)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1spkhp41ig4 (Beautiful Things by Gungor)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOkImV2cJDg (Whom Shall I Fear by Christ Tomlin)
I hope this helped! Sorry it was so long hehe. 🙂 If you ever need absolutely anything at all, if you want to talk or vent, please talk to me on here, email me at Amfin@earthlink.net, or find me on Instagram and send me a direct photo (as far as I know, that's the only way to "chat" on IG…). My Instagram username is mandi_pi_314, and it's under the name Amanda F. 🙂 Just let me know on here your username and that you are following me so that I recognize your username and accept your follow request. 🙂
God loves you, I love you, and so many others love you, beautiful! <3 Have a wonderful day, and you'll be just fine on your cruise; I'm praying for you all the time!
|December 12, 2014 at 10:06|
I can comment about the food part. I’m not anorexic. But I am chronically ill. Some gastrointestinal stuff that’s undiagnosed. For a long time last year I had to be “free” of a lot…gluten, dairy, eggs, peanut, corn, and something else. Gluten free for the longest, dairy free the second longest, and the rest for a couple/few months. But the point being, I couldn’t really eat out. I couldn’t eat at friends’ houses unless they had an apple, basically. 😛 I took my own food. Like you, I took it and was worried what people would say. Or think why I’m not eating, or feel sympathy for me, or judge me for bringing my own food. I didn’t want to be seen as a health freak, but I simply couldn’t eat the other food they were eating. What I learned: just be yourself; be confident; not care what they think about you in terms of judging you; you’re doing what you have to do (or want to do) and it’s your choice; as long as you’re confident and do your thing, they should be good with it; if you act like something’s awkward or wrong it shows and they may really notice (at least I thought so). Reality: they may not even notice that you bring your own food. The waitress/er may look at you weird, but it’s not like they’re gonna kick you off! (it’s a boat…) Be yourself, be confident, smile, find the Jesus~Joy, I hope you’ll have a good time. Look beyond the food, I thought, there’s more than food even though food seems like life. I hope you can find the joy in it and treasure memories!
|December 14, 2014 at 23:21|
Well, Christmas is supposed to be a time you want to enjoy, not dread. I would say talk to God about all of your worries and fears. I was a bit anorexic when I was younger and then my parents caught me on it. This world tells us that the only beautiful girls are skinny, but that is so not true! What counts is whats inside, not out. I have depression too, so I understand where your coming from. I have never hurt myself though. My advice would be that hurting yourself doesn’t solve your problems. It may resolve the stress, but it doesn’t solve the problems. Dealing with your uncle well, I would talk to your parents about that. Your family needs to be reminded that its Christmas, a time of loving behavior. Not mean, cruel behavior that will hurt people. This stuff may take some sacrifice but I guarantee its worth it. And your grandparents well, I would talk to them about it and see what they really feel. Hope this helps!
|December 15, 2014 at 09:40|
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.