First of all, PI has been such a blessing to me. I’ve gotten advice from a lot of you, and I can’t thank you enough. Second of all, my best friend of nearly thirteen years is talking to this guy. It’s not romantic in anyway. Don’t think that. She texted me one night telling me that this guy friend of hers (we’ll call him Jacob and her Ella.) Ella texted me one night saying that she was so upset because one of her best friends wasn’t going to talk to her anymore. I won’t go into detail, but I read the messages. Guys, he said some terrible things to her. I was in tears. She told me she would be okay. Me and my other friend comforted her. She’s good. She’s moved on. She’s okay. Only… She not. A little while ago, Ella texted me again saying that Jacob was doing that same thing. I failed to mention before that he was saying that God was telling him to stop talking to Ella. The same thing happened. Then she told me that she forgave him. Then they started talking again. JUST TODAY! I know her Instagram password, and I’m reading their messages AS I TYPE THIS. I know. I shouldn’t, but guys… He’s a terrible person. He keeps talking about how she’s not a good Christian and that he needs to help her. Ella is one of the best people I have ever met. She judges people on their personality alone. How many people do you know who do that? Really. How many people? None, I would bet. Now, my dad’s a pastor, so I’m not afraid to say that I know a bit about the bible. He keeps giving her terrible advice. They did this “witnessing exercise” where Jacob pretended to be an atheist and Ella was the Christian. He kept telling her that she wasn’t ready. She’s suffering, and she doesn’t know that I know that. All I can do is watch. I don’t know what to do! Please help me! Finally, Jacob was telling Ella how he and his girlfriend were in her BED making out. He has his hands up her shirt! I can’t do anything. Help.
|May 4, 2016 at 21:50|
You said your dad’s a pastor – maybe you should try telling your parents a little about it (while respecting your friend’s privacy, of course) – they might be able to help you. I’ll be praying for Ella, and that God shows you what to dodo. Don’t give up!
|May 5, 2016 at 07:15|
My heart hurts when I think about this whole situation. Ella sounds like such an amazing Christian girl. Finally, I think I can kinda relate, because I’ve been through a slightly similar situation, when a guy like Jacob was telling me things like I was a bad Christian and giving me super unhealthy advice which I believed at that time, even though I’m also a pastor’s daughter and have been raised in the church. That was really tough but what really helped me through was the help of my family and their prayers. Sometimes you can’t just convince a person, even if you know the truth and want to help, so I’d say, please please keep praying and seek counsel of your parents. We here at PI will also keep praying for Ella and you 🙂 I also think this young man also needs prayer as he’s clearly not really living for the Lord and is not right with God.
|May 5, 2016 at 23:28|
Thank you so much for reaching out to help. I really apriciate it. The thing is, I can’t really tell my parents about this whole situation. I can’t explain why. I just can’t. So, I’ve been reading what they say to each other just to make sure that’s she’s okay. Ella asked Jacob a question about the bible, and he gave her this ridiculous answer that couldn’t be more wrong. This may seem self-centered, but she’s not coming to me for advice anymore. She’s going to Jacob. I feel like she’s being led down the wrong path. When he made her really upset, she was heartbroken. At this point, I know that she likes him more than me. We’ve been friends for nearly thirteen years. I’m okay with her having better friends than me. Just not this guy. My other friend who I told you about before usually helps me with this. I’m going to text her now. Please pray and give advice. I can’t do anything.
|May 6, 2016 at 20:05|
I will keep praying.
|May 7, 2016 at 06:58|
Okay so this seems to be a pritty serious situation. I know why you dont want to tell your parents I get it so if you dont want to tell them tell a youth pastor or some other authority in your church. You seem like a really great friend and this guy is not uplifting your friend. YOU NEED TO TELL SOMEONE. If this guy keeps doing this to her she may go down the path of suicide, cutting, or worse. Your faith seems very strong but you cant do this in your own strength. Continue to pray for her and tell someone what is going on. I would like to talk about this with you in a more private situation so email me here: firstname.lastname@example.org I can give you alot of advice
|May 9, 2016 at 10:55|
Update 1/2: Ella decided to stop talking to Jacob after a bit of prompting from me. She told him that she was going to stop talking to him, and he said that he didn’t care. Her feelings were very hurt. I think this boy might be a legitimate narcissist. Ella really did a good job of keeping her head held high. He kept saying that he had led more people to Christ than she ever would. First he said that he had led twelve people to Christ just that month. Then he said that it was sixty. I doubt that he was being honest either time. He told her Ella “I’VE LED SIXTY PEOPLE TO CHRIST JUST THIS MONTH. THAT’S MORE THAN YOU WILL DO IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE. SIT YOURSELF DOWN.” I have to eat dinner at the moment. I will update you all as soon as I can. I have more I want to say.
|May 10, 2016 at 15:10|
Update 2/2: She kept saying that she might not lead as many people to Christ as him, but she knows that God has a plan for her. She texted me and she told me to go read the texts. I had already read them, but I didn’t tell her that. I told her that God could use anyone. I checked her Instagram today just to make sure that neither of them were messaging each other. She messaged him saying that she was sorry. He was being mean and rude. Jason is bulling her, and I’ve made up my mind to tell my mom the day after tomorrow. I took screenshots of some of the messages so that if Ella deletes any of them I’ll still have them if someone needs to see them. I don’t know if this is wrong or right, but at this point I’m going to fix this no matter what. Wish me luck.
|May 10, 2016 at 17:45|
Hi EmmaG7 (btw, my name is also Emma G!) I have been reading this and I think you are doing a good job for Ella. I’m praying that you’ll keep being a good influence on her, and I’m really glad that you’ve made the decision to tell your mum. You should also tell a youth pastor, as someone else suggested earlier, or a similar person (a Christian) before this becomes any more serious. Encourage Ella with bible verses and I will be praying for all three of you. If you haven’t already, you should pray for Jacob as well, so that he may be led to Christ and know the truth, and come to see the faults in his speech and behaviour towards Ella. Good luck with telling your mum and talking everything through with Ella 🙂 As I said, I’ll be praying for all of you.
|May 11, 2016 at 03:32|
I was talking to Ella last night. She told me that they decided to start talking again. I told her “Ell… You know that he’s bullying you, right?” As it turns out, she had no idea. She said that she was bullied for years before her mom pulled her out of school and started homeschooling her. She couldn’t tell that she was being bullied. She asked me what I would do, and my exact words were, “ditch him.” She decided to take my advice and tell him that she wasn’t going to keep talking to him. I texted her a little while ago asking if she has done it yet. She said no. I asked her if she was going to. She said yes. Instagram made her change her password because of “suspicious activity.” My bad… I’m still planning on telling my mom just in case she changes her mind again. I really think that all the prayers have helped. Thank you.
|May 11, 2016 at 07:56|
I told my mom about the whole situation and showed her some of the messages. She could only see the ones that I took screenshots of before Ella had to change her Instagram password. At first she told me “Emma, there’s nothing wrong here.” Then she got to the part where he was insulting her appearance, and the guy that she likes. She told my friend and I that she was glad we told her. She’s actually going to see Ella’s mom in a little while. She said that she would tell her about it then. I know that Ella’s going to be made at me. I just hope, in the future, she’ll see why I did it. Thank you for all the prayers. I truly truly believe that all the prayers are what’s really helped me and my friend help her. I ask that you continue praying. With the hope that Ella will understand my actions. Once again, thank you all. I really appreciate it, and I wish you all the best.
|May 12, 2016 at 18:42|
I’m glad you could tell your mom, and l hope you can be friends with Ella again.
|May 12, 2016 at 19:47|
I don’t know how many of you will read this, but I’ve decided to come back with an update. My mom told Ella’s mom about the situation. She showed her how messages work on Instagram. Ella’s mom decided not to let Ella know it was me who made sure she found out. Ella has stopped talking to Jacob entirely. As it turns out, Ella’s mom didn’t even know Jacob existed. She found out the reason that Jacob was being so awful to her. I’ve decided not to share out of respect for him. She heard through a mutual friend who heard from a couple mutual friends or something like that. It still doesn’t justify what he did. It did earn him a tiny bit of sympathy. Thank you all again for your help and prayers.
|July 7, 2016 at 16:24|
I’m so glad she’s okay.
|July 8, 2016 at 11:36|
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