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Anxiety and not sure how to see myself

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends High School Girl Talk Anxiety and not sure how to see myself

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  ArtiseyDisneyGal 11 months ago.

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Jules101

Jules101

The other day, my mom had some people come in our house to install some new blinds. They ended up being a couple who knew Sign Language because the wife was hard of hearing like me, but was expected to lose more hearing. I’m not sure exactly what I think of people like that…they often try to remind me I’m so different and I don’t like it. I’ve been fitting in perfectly with other people, and most of the hard of hearing kids at my school haven’t wanted to be friends with me. I was depressed last year because I thought of myself as so different from anyone else, almost as an alien. I thought everyone would be better off or happier without me. I accidentally read a bad book where the main character said “Everyone who knows her hates her.” I have come a long way since then with some help. My good friends and my neighbor helped a lot. Before I met the couple, I tried to focus on how happy my friends always were to see me, how much they accepted me and enjoyed having me around. Now I’m falling back into those bad thoughts again. I’m starting to think if I’m so different, I deserve to be alienated. Plus, I have a younger sister, but everyone says she acts older 🙁 is everything I say or do immature? Is it immature I’m friends with freshman and sophomores?

I have also tried to be friends with some people in the past; another neighbor and his friend at school, a guy in my youth group, etc. All of them were kind of mean to me. The guy in my youth group really was mean to me, but the other people we were both friends with denied it and said he would talk to me if I tried talking to him. Not true. Why would he have hated me so much? Was it the way God made me? And why couldn’t my other friends tell me the truth? I can see now honesty is the best policy, because I’m not ready to go back to that youth group or see them again. I also really liked another boy, and we were actually becoming good friends. He was giving clear signs he liked me. He knew I liked him, but then told two of my friends who told that mean guy. He was extremely mean to me. He would say is that “so-and-so’s girlfriend?” when he was talking to another girl and give me mischievious look. My friend still talked to me for a while after that, but now a year later, I don’t know if he would hate me. I don’t go to the youth group anymore and I deleted him on Facebook, but he still follows me on Instagram. When I see him in the halls. his head his down or he’s looking the other way. Same with my neighbor and his friend. Is it really so bad to want to be someone’s friend? I know I’m not a creepy person. People have called me adorable and a likable person. What do you think the guy from my old youth group would think looking back on that? Would people not care they probably should have been nicer to me? I for sure do miss the memories with them! We had a great chemistry and the guy Gavin was one of the first people I was friends with. After some of that, I’m embarrassed if I want to be someone’s friend now and I feel like most people hate me. Like if I went back to my old church, would Gavin and his family hate me? His mom unfollowed me on Instagram, and I used to be good friends with his sister, but all of a sudden she started giving me mean looks, and that was before my crush on him. She was so sweet! She would always try to help with me anxiety and she would make me feel so loved..I just miss it all 🙁 Did I mess it all up? It still frustrating how most of the adults seemed to like me more than the kids. Now when my good friend Rachel says they would love to see me again, it doesn’t seem sincere.

I worry a lot now if I’m saying or doing the right thing, or even if it’s ok to text someone. I have another really good friend and she is just a gift from God! I can be certain of things around her. Her brother too! He has also accepted me for some reason. Why would they accept me if other people don’t? Thank you so much for all your help! It is greatly appreciated! I know now they would both care if they didn’t have me around anymore. Her brother was also laughing with me when I was over once and singing loud to get my attention. His face also lights up when he sees me at school, his eyes shine, and we sometime lock eyes

January 2, 2016 at 00:25
ArtiseyDisneyGal

ArtiseyDisneyGal

I’m not very organized so this will be all over the place but I hope this helps!

That’s so good that those last friends don’t judge you by what you look like! Those other people who were not meant to be in your life would shun you to make themselves look “cool” and “popular”. Thats really shallow of them. People judge by appearance these days and that just horrible. Even if you have one or two friends who knows who you really are that’s a blessing!

And about people thinking your sister is older, I deal with the same problem when it comes to me and my younger brother! Everyone thinks he’s like 1-2 years older than me and I get so annoyed! But I know for me its still hard to deal with but so what if we don’t act like all those older girls who always talks about boys, has on a ton of makeup, acts older than they actually are, or are even dating young. Just stay true to who you are and don’t try to act older, because it can be super tempting! Why change who you are just so people see you as older? You’re perfect right where you are, and so what if you’re actually right where you should be at your maturity for your age?

And please don’t believe everyone hates you! Its far from that! They just want to be accepted and cool, but they’re not! And that will come out over time, just hang out with people who will lift you up and not pull you down. My mom told me this actually yesterday, it’s so easy to get pulled down to their level! Stand firm in who you are and being a young women in Christ and you’ll attract just the right person for you!

I hope I helped! I’ll be praying!

January 2, 2016 at 08:19
Jules101

Jules101

Thank you! Why would people think it’s cool to shun me? And how could my two friends see who I really am?

January 5, 2016 at 14:59
ArtiseyDisneyGal

ArtiseyDisneyGal

Because those people want to fit in and some would leave you to be with that so said “cool” crowd. I can’t believe people can be like that and stuff that goes on in their mind we may never know. All we can do is to pray for them, because everyone has a story.

The best way for your friends to see who you are is just be yourself! I have some close Christian guy friends in my life who doesn’t care at all about girls appearance, they want them to be close to God and have a strong personality. Christian guys who are close with God will be looking for the same in a girl, and all you need to do is be yourself completely! Here’s something one of my Christian guy friends said.

What do you think makes a person beautiful?
“The condition of their heart, mind, and soul.”

So that shows you that there’s a right guy out there for you and if you just be yourself you’ll attract the right guys and friends! Be confident in who you are, because (I’m getting off track XD) when you’re confident in who you are others will see that and know not to mess with you, because a confident girl is a dangerous one!

-Love Your Sis in Christ

January 6, 2016 at 07:17
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