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Anxious about The Confrontation

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  AdventureGirl 5 months, 3 weeks ago.

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Hey girls. Okay, here’s the deal. So, I’m 19. Although I still live at home, I haven’t brought up the subject of wearing a bikini to my mom. She is a stickler for modesty and for a little bit, I was planning to go behind her back and wear one, since it’s legal, but after talking it out, I decided that’s not the best idea..

What I AM gonna do is meet with her and my youth leaders about it. My male youth leader said that in a way, a one-piece is basically “swimsuit skin.” Legit.

I’m nervous she will either get really mad that I put her on the spot (I haven’t told her what the meeting will be about) or STILL say no. Normally, this wouldn’t be such a big deal, but as one of my friends said years ago, “We’re getting to the age where we’re… kind of growing out of one-pieces.” Also, I can literally count ON MY FINGERS how many of my friends aren’t allowed to wear bikinis either. Plus, some of them are starting to move out, and I can’t yet bc my financial situation… Plus, one of my friends said her parents said, “Jenna you’re so modest all the time, loosen up a bit!” GRRR, I dress so modestly all year long! Pretty much all my friends are Christians too, and I sometimes get embarrassed about my conservative swimwear (it all started when I was in fifth grade, and my friends got really upset that I wasn’t wearing a bikini).

These past few years, everytime I go swimming with girls, I get unreasonably anxious, and okay, if I see a picture of one of my friends on Facebook, I blow it up and analyze what kind of swimsuit she’s wearing.

This has really taken its toll and I sometimes can’t sleep or get internally upset about my swimwear situation. I have been getting stomach aches, but that might be due to other things.

So my question is, what do you think I should do in the waiting before the meeting? And what if she says no?

May 4, 2016 at 22:17


Oooo girl, that’s a tough situation. Kudos to you for being open about this!

First, what are your youth leaders’ reaction towards bikinis? Sorry I think I misunderstood what you wrote. Are they ok with them?

Second, research the verses that are commonly used to support the idea of modesty, and then inform your youth leaders and mother why you disagree with that interpretation of the verses. I would also do a little research on “purity culture” and why it’s harmful to young women.

If she says no…then whether or not you wear a bikini is going to have to be a decision you make on your own, sorry 🙁 You are technically an adult, but I know it feels weird to go against what your parents want when you still live with them.

As cliché as it sounds…pray about it! But keep in mind “honoring” your parents doesn’t mean obeying them, and you do have to grow up and make your own decisions eventually.

Good luck girlie! Let me know how it goes!

May 5, 2016 at 14:55
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