Lately it has seemed like everyone in my grade at school is pairing off and getting into relationships. Whenever the updates pop up on facebook I find myself getting kind of wistful thinking that it would be so nice to have someone like that. But when I’m honest with myself, I know I’m not ready for that and I don’t really want that at this stage of my life. I have too much that I want to accomplish and unless a really great guy wants to join me in that stuff,or God totally derails my plans for a guy, I don’t want to be distracted by romance. That doesn’t stop the wistfulness though. Has anyone else experienced this? Isn’t it annoying? And what do you do about it when you can’t get on social media or walk through your school without seeing more of your classmates in relationships?
|March 5, 2016 at 19:35|
I’d say you shouldn’t feel totally bad about your reaction. It’s only natural, because it shows that your longing is still there! I think you should never, ever let go of the longing (to find somebody) in your heart. Let the longing drive you, but not dominate you.
What this means is that at your current stage of life, assuming you are in high school, you have other things that you can focus on–studies, friendships, church life, spiritual life, etc. And if you think you are not ready for the grind and tough work that a dating relationship takes, you should cherish other things in your life right now.
As a man, I for one enjoy the beautiful brotherhood and sisterhood that I can have with certain women that I know (context: I go to a Bible College) and we can mutually affirm each others’ value with no connotations of romantic affections or without having to worry that things that I do, words I say will be misinterpreted as if I’m interested in these women. For instance, I can tell some of my women friends face-to-face “You are a beautiful woman created in the image of God, don’t let anybody tell you anything else”, and they can tell me that I am a man of worth. To me, this beautiful brotherhood/sisterhood that we have is richer than a potentially shallow dating relationship!
Also keep in mind that social media only shows you what people want you to see. Not many people would publicly broadcast on Facebook that they just broke up with their boyfriend/girlfriend, but they’ll share pictures of them holding hands as a couple walking at a park together. If looking at those news feed bothers you that much, maybe you can try spending lesser time on social media and instead find way to build/deepen relationships with those you love (friends, parents, siblings).
In summary, there is more to human fulfillment than that of a dating relationship. There is much beauty in this world that God has created, and I’m sure you can find things that you can appreciate and cherish in your life too! Remember, let the longing drive you (and your life), but never let it dominate you. Wish you all the best! 🙂
|March 7, 2016 at 14:07|
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