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Are you dying to get married?

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Random Thoughts and Questions Are you dying to get married?

This topic contains 16 replies, has 12 voices, and was last updated by  StarySky 1 year, 10 months ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 17 total)
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AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

I’m not. I would like to get married, eventually. But I’m fine with waiting a long time (I’m 19). I’ve never been in a serious relationship. Its strange seeing my friends get married, or begin dating guys they know is “the one”.

I just feel like…I’m only 19. Marriage is forever (at least I want mine to be! :P). There’s so much I want to do: travel, get a degree or two, go on missions trips, get better at my hobbies, etc. I don’t understand why so many people are in such a rush to get married.

January 5, 2015 at 14:47
Project Inspired

rusie

Mh. I know what you mean.

I was all like, I wanna be in a relationship! (Just turned 15)
Then I was like, this is hard work. Im a lil too selfish.
Like, a relationship is awesome, but a friendships are WAYY better until you know you’re settled and set for the long haul. Most times, they are just as rewarding.

This has been “Deep thoughts with….” (lol!)

January 5, 2015 at 15:18
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

Yes! That’s exactly how I feel!

January 5, 2015 at 16:02
marysetrueblood

marysetrueblood

I mean, it’s a dream I have for my future, and it’s a part of my future I look forward to (the part where I’m done with school and becoming a professor and working on my novels) but I’m in no rush for it to get here. I want to be ready, and at a point in my life where that’s the best thing for me, so for now I’m just living my life and building my experiences up.

January 5, 2015 at 17:02
rainbowuni

rainbowuni

I want to get married…just not for a while. I want to be able to travel and do crazy things and enjoy my youth (translates to “spending 90% of my time on tumblr”)…and not necessarily have to consider anyone else while I do it.

January 5, 2015 at 20:04
EmeraRider

EmeraRider

I’m really excited for marriage, but I definitely have a lot to do ahead of me. The idea of finding your best friend and learning about them and falling in love with them over and over again and working hard to take on the world with them is fantastic, and I’m thrilled for that one day. But when you’re still really young, there’s a lot you have to take on with others first… you’ve got to go through things and learn from your family, friends, etc. I think that your adolescence/young adult years should be for building relationships and experiencing and learning things, and during that time, you may just find someone you want to experience the rest of the road with. 😀

January 5, 2015 at 20:17
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

^That’s a splendid way to put it. I really do want to get married, but I don’t want to settle for a mediocre relationship.

Like you said, I want marriage to be about finding my best friend and taking on the world with them. I don’t want it to be a superficial attraction. For now, I’m happy to experience all the wonders of singlehood 😉

January 6, 2015 at 10:47
chloe523

chloe523

Having parents who got married at a very young age (I think they were both 19), I grew up with the expectation that I would get married super early too, but now it really doesn’t matter to me. I’m not going to intentionally wait until I do certain things that I want to do, until I allow myself to get married, but I definitely won’t rush into it. I think the best thing for me will be to just see what happens, and if I happen to meet the guy that I want to be with forever at a young age, nothing will really make me want to wait to get married.

January 6, 2015 at 12:35
EmeraRider

EmeraRider

I agree. If you’ve been with someone a long time, even if you’re still young, and know them like the back of your hand, I don’t think that it’s a decision you should be made to feel ashamed of if you marry them (though I do think that you should be out of college and/or settled on a job and have a plan for where to go with them from there). My sister said that getting married before twenty five is like “leaving the party at 6:30” but I think it depends more on the experience of your relationship than it does on your experience with dating altogether. And I think it’s more important for your experience with relationships should be based on quality, not quantity. I think that it’s better to mature emotionally by working things out in a committed relationship than by learning things from a string of different casual ones. They’re investments, not hobbies. You should be having the time of your life with whoever you’re dating. It should be tons of fun. But it should never be something taken lightly.

January 6, 2015 at 14:24
marysetrueblood

marysetrueblood

Exactly. It’s like finding a favorite book. You don’t pick up a book and decide “THIS WILL BE MY FAVORITE BOOK.” You pick it up, give it a change, maybe you met it through a friend, maybe everyone else likes it and you decide to see what it’s all about. That’s all okay. So you read the book, get to know it thoroughly, put your time and feelings into it. Maybe it will be so boring you read only a chapter. Maybe you’ll read it once, be glad it happened, and put it down because the experience is over. But then it may become a favorite book and you’ll read it over, and over, and over again because it was so beautiful and it’s a part of your life now.
But you can’t have known that before you opened the book and read it.
Relationships are like books like that.

January 6, 2015 at 16:07
NerdyChick334

NerdyChick334

^^Except with books you don’t just stick with one 😛

I would love to get married! I like what chloe said. I’m not gonna intentionally wait for other things to happen first but I’m not gonna rush to it either. No one said you can’t still have adventures and experiences when you get married. You don’t have to have kids or start a family or even settle down right away. I would love to just spend the first months or maybe even years traveling and exploring and experiencing new things with my future spouse, figuring our lives out together. But in the meantime I’ve never even been on a date…well, a sneak-attack date that was my doing and that went terribly and I’ll never try that again. But I’ve been single and unkissed all through my life. I’m in no hurry to change that. When I meet someone that’s wonderful and respects and loves me, I’ll go for it, but I don’t mind being single now. My current crush may soon be my first kiss. (That’d be so choice!) Who knows? Anything is possible.

I agree with Emera on this.
“I think that it’s better to mature emotionally by working things out in a committed relationship than by learning things from a string of different casual ones. They’re investments, not hobbies. You should be having the time of your life with whoever you’re dating. It should be tons of fun. But it should never be something taken lightly.”
Although I admit there are some people I would go on a first date with if asked, the intention just being to know each other better.

January 7, 2015 at 01:57
EmeraRider

EmeraRider

“No one said you can’t still have adventures and experiences when you get married.”
Amen to that! Also, I hate the “marriage ties you down” idea. (Though I think that’s mostly just a 90’s sitcom trope :p xD) To quote Mumford & Sons, “Love it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free, be more like the man you were made to be.”

January 7, 2015 at 14:59
SereneInChrist

SereneInChrist

I’m definitely content waiting until I’m at the youngest 23 or at oldest 27 to be married.
I wouldn’t mind, I actually ideal the thought of having a husband whom I go on adventures with, like EmeraRider said above me. 🙂
A spouse is someone I plan to share my life with; my highs, my lows… my laughter, my tears, my trails and triumphs. Someone who I can be a shoulder to cry on, an encouraging spark.
Someone a spouse can come home to at the end of the day with a sense of comfort, happiness, and love. As opposed to a type of marriage where a guy may think “After a hard day’s work… I get to come home to my stressed out wife who can’t wait to tell me about her “terrible” day & how I’m not emotionally empathetic enough with her” blah blah blah! I’d never want a marriage to evolve into that.

January 7, 2015 at 15:52
Meriadoc

Meriadoc

I’m excited on finding out who I’m going to end up with for the rest of my life, but until then, I’m completely content being single. Relationships are a lot of work, and I have Netflix to watch.

January 7, 2015 at 16:47
sandyspuppychow

sandyspuppychow

YES! I want to get married! But I am very picky and don’t believe in just “settling” so I will be waiting awhile.

January 8, 2015 at 08:38
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