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Can a (Christian) girl ask out a guy?

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Relationships Can a (Christian) girl ask out a guy?

This topic contains 4 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  BridgetteMarie21 1 year, 8 months ago.

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Hi. (:

So I’m an 18-year-old senior in high school, and I like one of my co-workers (who also sometimes goes to the church group I go to). He’s the same age and we’re in the same grade, but he goes to a different school. He’s fairly quiet, and I’m not particularly outgoing myself, so we don’t really talk outside of work. I’m not really sure how he feels about me, but the only chance I see of anything ever potentially happening is if I initiate something. And at this point, I figure if he says yes, then great; if he says no, I’ll just interact with him at work when I have to and leave it at that. And since we work in different areas, it’s easy enough to not be around him much. I don’t have much to lose.

From a Christian standpoint, is it okay for a girl to ask out a guy? And from a general standpoint, would that seem too forward or weird? I totally agree that men are to be the leaders, but is there anything wrong with a girl initiating things (or trying to)? I would obviously drop it if he said no, and I wouldn’t do it more than once, but is there anything wrong with just asking him to get lunch or coffee or something?

I’ve been keeping this in prayer for a few weeks, but I’m still not sure. I haven’t really felt any huge red flags or feelings of “you should definitely not do this,” but it’s not like I’ve felt anything strongly compelling me to ask him. I have, however, heard multiple messages about boldness recently. I went to a friend’s church the other night, and the sermon was about being bold. Then I went to my church on Sunday, and the message was about Esther and being bold. I’m probably over-thinking (like I usually do), but I don’t know if that’s a coincidence or if God is telling me to go for it. I don’t want to open this door if this isn’t what God wants for my life, but I also don’t want to miss an opportunity because of my nerves (which I’ve down all-too-many times, unfortunately, and with things other than boys).

Any thoughts either way? Thanks, ladies. (:

February 15, 2015 at 22:14
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I feel like we could have the same thought process (I don’t have this same situation) but still 🙂 I actually sadly don’t have much to say on this, but was wondering if you found any advice on it?

March 1, 2015 at 00:22


If the guy has feelings for you,he should ask you out.You should not have to do anything,men are the pursuers.

March 10, 2015 at 15:45


GO AHEAD AND ASK THE GUY OUT! This guy could like you, but he may be too shy to ask you out. If you don’t see this guy asking you out then you need to do it. You can be independent and Christian at the same time. 🙂

March 15, 2015 at 21:27


If neither of you are really outgoing, just ask him if he wants to hang out after work or something and let it go from there. It’s not going to do any harm, honestly, I really don’t think it matters who asked who out first. There’s nothing wrong with asking him if he wants to hang out and then go from there.

March 20, 2015 at 10:31
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