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Can't Live Like This Anymore

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Random Thoughts and Questions Can't Live Like This Anymore

This topic contains 7 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  chloe523 1 year, 10 months ago.

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chloe523

chloe523

So about a year ago my mom confronted me because she had noticed that I had seemed really down for the past couple of months. I told her about how anxious I was feeling all the time and how low I was feeling and so she took me to see a therapist against my will. When I started going to therapy, it seemed okay at first. My therapist shared a technique to help with calming my panic attacks and she definitely taught me a lot about the brain and its interactions with the body and stuff like that, but she never actually helped me feel better. Every single week that I went, she would ask me how I had been feeling, and then tell me the same thing that she told me the week before. It felt pointless to keep going and I told my mom that so she stopped taking me.

Fast forward to a month later, my mom gets me supplements that are supposed to “boost your mood” (yea right) and of course they didn’t work. The next time I went to my normal doctor, she brought them with her and asked for his opinion, and he told her that there is really only one active ingredient in the supplement, so it’s no surprise that it didn’t work. After talking to her some more, he recommended me to see a psychiatrist, so that I could get medication. At this point, things were getting more and more out of hand with how I was feeling and the anxiety I was having. After leaving the doctor’s office, I asked my mom about it and she said absolutely not, I’m not going to be on medication. Okay, I was fine with it, maybe things would just work out on its own.

It’s been over six months since then. I feel like my anxiety and my mood is out of control. I have usually 3 or 4 panic attacks a week and I can’t take it. I feel like I can’t breathe when it happens and I feel like I’m going to die and it’s awful. I can’t even really exercise anymore because when my heart starts beating faster I get scared to death that I will have a panic attack and it sends me into a panic attack. Along with that I have ridiculous mood swings that spiral out of control every single day. One day I’ll wake up absolutely depressed, barely able to carry myself through the day, and then that same night I will be too excited for the next day to start for me to sleep, and there will suddenly be so much that I want to do and accomplish. Or sometimes it’s the other way around, or sometimes I’ll go days or weeks feeling the same way and then it will switch up. But I can’t take it anymore. I need help and I need to follow the advice of my doctor but my mom doesn’t acknowledge this as a problem anymore. She thinks that it must be just a phase or something. I’m ready to see that psychiatrist and get the proper help and/or medication that my doctor says I need, but my mom isn’t believing that this is real and it’s ruining my life. Help 🙁

January 3, 2015 at 17:16
kellybarta14

kellybarta14

Hmm… I’m sorry youre going through this Chloe! I have dealt with first hand depression, but this sounds even worse! First of all, I am assuming you have, but have you given her all this information about how you feel day and night? I have a personal experience with medication. I am actually still using anti depressants. They actually work great. They may cause nausea or side affects at first, but you just have to try different techniques.

Many people think that medications are a sign of not trusting God. Does your mom believe this? I view it as that God gave us brains, therefore we have medications available. If God didn’t want us to use medication, he wouldn’t have given scientists the brain to do it.

If you don’t mind me asking, what is bothering you? Maybe i would have better advice then. Does your mom know what is bothering you, or just that something is bothering you? I would say that might help if you gave her the details.

I’m sorry if I came off sounding rude or abrupt at all and I hope i didn’t insult you or your mom at all. If I did i am really sorry! I will keep you in my prayers and may the Lord be with you in the days to come!

January 3, 2015 at 19:20
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

Hey Chloe!

I’m so sorry for what you’re going through 🙁 I can relate to some extent because I’ve struggled with really severe depression.

So in the beginning it sounds like your mom was really supportive. It could be that she hasn’t fully researched depression medication and she’s scared of the thought of you going on it. I would ask her why she doesn’t think you should go to a psychiatrist or take medication. Don’t leave until you have a straight answer, but be calm and kind when you talk to her.

You’re really brave to share this, both with us and with your mom, doctor and therapist. I never told anyone when I was struggling with depression, except towards the end :/ Seriously, you’ve taken the most important step in healing 🙂

Let your mom know in detail exactly how you’re feeling. I think depression is hard for people to understand if they themselves do not struggle with it.

Also, read your bible and put Philippians 4:8 into practice. Pray too! And expect God to either heal you, or show you what to do in order to heal your mind and emotions. He will!

Keep us updated girlie! 🙂 Praying for you <3

January 4, 2015 at 12:17
Mandi_lee2014

Mandi_lee2014

What you are describing sounds like a very serious mental disorder (possibly Bi-polar disorder) and you definitely need to try and continue to get in to see a psychiatrist. Maybe print off some different information on mental illness to have her read? Or find something that may help her believe that its real, not just made up, because sadly the truth is so many people think depression and anxiety and other things are not real, but that we are just looking for attention. I dont know how to really help you convince her though since I dont know her.

I will say though that some things that may help are hot baths (or showers), learning some proper breathing, have a calm down playlist of relaxing music for when you get overwhelmed, look up grounding exercises (they can help with panic attacks), and find someone who does believe you and maybe open up a bit. Dont try to exercise hard, but take short walks, or do yoga or something similar so that you can get some of those endorphins flowing, and make sure you are eating healthy. Get yourself on a routine too to help ease stress and anxiety.
At least these are all things I have done. I have dealt with multiple anxiety disorders and depression and now have severe PTSD, so I get feeling like you are going crazy and cant go on that way anymore. Proper medication always helps. But hopefully some of those will too.
If ever you would like to email me and/or ask for more specific things you can also email me Mandi_lee2014@hotmail.com I dont normally give it out (Im not a huge emailer) but I get needing someone who understands. And while I know I dont have exactly what you have, I understand feeling like you are going to lose your mind and cant possibly go on anymore

January 4, 2015 at 12:28
chloe523

chloe523

Thanks so much girls for your support. I talked to my mom about it and told her why I think I really need this and she agreed to start looking for a psychiatrist to see. Please pray for me to find the right one and just for everything to work out alright. Thanks so much 🙂

January 4, 2015 at 14:28
Mandi_lee2014

Mandi_lee2014

Absolutely I will pray! It can be hard to find one. Just remember to try and be very open and honest with them, even if its awkward 🙂

January 4, 2015 at 16:33
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

I’m so happy to hear this! 🙂

January 5, 2015 at 12:12
chloe523

chloe523

UPDATE: My mom said she would take me and finally acknowledged the problem for a short amount of time, but is once again ignoring it. She has not looked for someone for me to see and I guess she just “forgot”. There’s no point in even trying to get help any more if my family isn’t standing behind me.

January 24, 2015 at 15:16
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