So I met a guy at a campus social event the other night. I’m 19 (close to 20) and he’s 20 (close to 21). He had clearly had a few drinks before coming (I go to a public university in a college town, so sometimes people show up places drunk). He was a bit more outgoing than I’d assume he usually is, but he wasn’t being crude or whistling at me or getting handsy or anything, so I try to give people a chance as long as they’re not being rude.
Anyways, he said my name right off the bat (I didn’t introduce myself, but I’m acquainted with his brother so I’m guessing the brother told him my name—not as creepy as it sounds). He told me his name, we shook hands, whatever—normal intro stuff. Then we started casually talking—we talked for maybe 15-20 minutes, but it was getting late and my friends and I agreed we were going to leave around a certain time. I politely excused myself and my friends and I went home. The next morning, I checked my phone and I had a Facebook friend request from the guy. He was pleasant enough so I accepted, not really thinking anything of it; but then he messaged me and started a conversation. I didn’t really think that was out of the ordinary since we spoke the night before, so I replied for a little while. But then he asked me if I wanted to get some coffee sometime. I was just about to longboard to the gym and workout so I didn’t reply, but once I got done about an hour or so later, he had messaged me again suggesting other places (like “or we could get smoothies if you don’t like coffee,” stuff like that). He said he just wants to get to know me which is fine, but usually settings like that are kind of date-y and often have the pretext of a date. I’m almost positive this guy isn’t a Christian, and even if he was, I’m not interested in being anything other than friends.
So, what should I do in this situation? The whole “get to know you” thing sounds innocent and friendly enough, but those things often have the pre-conception of a date (or something leading to a date). Should I agree to get coffee/whatever with him, or just pass? If I pass, I don’t really have a good reason to give him. I know a reason isn’t mandatory, but I think a brief explanation is always nice to have—polite, even. And there’s really no polite-sounding way to tell someone I only date Christians. To a non-Christian, it sounds like I’m saying, “I won’t even give a guy a chance unless he’s the same religion as me.” From a worldly view, that sounds pretty shallow. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
|September 4, 2016 at 15:06|
(Also, just for the record, I was sober. I’m not exactly what you would call a big drinker.)
|September 4, 2016 at 15:12|
I think first off you should pray about this situation. And then tell him the truth like I get what you mean by the world’s POV thinking christians are shallow but at the same time how else can we get it across you know? The bible says don’t be unequally yoked and so it’s clearly an important reason why (I think it’s awesome of you for sticking to that rule too!) And also says that were meant to please God and not man. Or you can just hang out as friends I don’t see why that would be wrong however i think you should set boundaries like always be in a public place or something so he doesn’t get the wrong idea. And if he ever does mention like pursuing the relationship just say your not really looking for a relationship at the moment. The only thing is, is the devil is very sneaky and in pursuing this friendship there is always the possibility of falling for him but unless you have that self control and truly put God first it should keep you in check. but I mean even being friends with a person who is not christian is very hard because of peer pressure and stuff. For example even driving in a car you know they’re gonna want they’re type of music but you may only listen to christian music. So that could be a hinderance in your walk with God. You could be straight up but also nice about it saying that your walk with God is really important to you and you would prefer not to get involved in a relationship thats goes against God’s will. I think in the end it comes down to you and how important your walk with God is. If you feel convicted just turn him down. In the end you don’t owe anybody anything! Hope this helps! 😀 also! Don’t let him discourage you. I know worldly people tend to throw out lies saying stuff about God that is not true and I just want you to remember to who you belong to and that your fearfully and wonderfully made. No matter what anyone says your worth so much more than any gem in the world, your priceless! So never forget that! Your loved and cared for so much by God! He has someone special for you so don’t ever lose hope! I’m sure theres a man out there who has found God, found himself, and now just needs to find you
(read that online and I thought it was cute lol Good luck with the whole relationship thing! I have a blog btw if you ever want to check it out it’s GirlplusGod.com )
|September 9, 2016 at 22:28|
Thank you for your response! I did end up turning him down, I just felt a little weird about it. He was nice and all, but I wasn’t really attracted to him anyways. I find it hard to explain to a non-Christian my reasons for only dating Christians, so I chose to just say I wasn’t interested in a relationship at the moment (because I’m really not). I did say thanks for asking, though, and he thanked me for being honest. I’m not going out of my way to talk to him, but if I see him around I say hi.
|September 12, 2016 at 22:52|
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