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depressing and demeaning thoughts towards self?

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This topic contains 6 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  Mandi Pi 1 year, 4 months ago.

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Smores1626

Ok, so. Basically I posted a few weeks ago about feeling empty and if you want to know more about that you can go into Christian life and mine is entitled “I dont know what to do” or something like that. Yes that was actually me I had issues with my accounts in the past so I have two. But going off of that post, ever since 6th grade, so for the past 4 years, I have been comparing myself to other girls in my grade. And then when I look at myself in the mirror, I think things like “how could anyone have ever told me i’m pretty? I have two scars on my forehead, freckles on only one cheek, Karadzic pilaris on my arms and ear lobes, I gained a good 30 pounds since I was in elementary school, and my eyes aren’t as bright.” I talked about this a few hours ago, and it helped a little. But the thing is, I dont know what to do. I feel empty and i am putting myself down and I hate it but for some reason I cant stop. And there were times when I thought that if I self harmed, no one would care. The one of the only things keeping me from doing so is the fact that I know all it would do is if someone found out I would be sent to the mental institution. People here like to do that to people who harm themselves instead of letting them hangs at their own pace. Anyways, I just have run out of things to do to stop myself. And I dont know if what im feeling is depression or what but its definitely scaring me and I just need help. And this is extremely hard for me to do, I tend to keep my thoughts and emotions to myself, so please dont freak out or anything. Thanks.

July 20, 2015 at 06:10
SavedbyGrace14

SavedbyGrace14

Im not going to say I completely understand what your going through. Because if your like me you hate when people say that. You feel like no one understands, like no one cares. I will say I understand what your saying. I feel like that sometimes. But believe it or not It will be ok. Jam out to your favorite song. Dance crazy just to do it. Surround yourself with people that truly love you. I hope this helped. …..oh and heres one of my favorite songs to listen to when im sad: “Count your rainbows” by 1girl nation. 😉

July 20, 2015 at 11:00
Celby

Celby

Don’t worry 🙂 You are so very beautiful in the eyes of God!

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”– Psalm 139:14

You are God’s creation! The God who mad the whole entire universe made YOU! 🙂 Even if no one else sees it in you, remind yourself that God sees you for the wonderful, beautiful creation He made you to be. From the inside and out!

Know that when God made you. He had a plan for you even before time began, He knew you. Ahead of you lies a great future that the Lord has made just for you! Both now and in eternity forever! God is HOPE even at a time when there appears to be none, so just trust that He is paving the way for you to fulfill YOUR OWN special purpose.

Whenever you have those dark thoughts, just declare in faith, in Jesus’ name that you cast out any evil forces that may be causing you to think those thoughts. There is power in Jesus’ name, so be sure of it and have faith that the devil will flee you when you. You must have faith 😀
“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”– James 4:7

“You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.” –1 John 4:4

You are an overcomer! Fighting the fight to the final round XD (Had to throw that one in there!)

Remember, beloved child of God, that God dearly loves you and died so that you could have life and life more abundantly (John 10:10). That means that on the cross when Christ said “It is finished” those feelings of emptiness and hatred were crucified and overcome for you– 2000 years ago. So when you come to Jesus, asking for help know that He has overcome this world and wants you to be filled inside and not empty because he wants you to have life and more abundantly. It is HE that satisfies the soul. He gives joy to the depressed, peace to the restless, hope for the hopeless, and will fulfill your every need. His Spirit is not of fear, hatred, and emptiness but of peace, love, and a sound mind.

You were made to be free, not in bondage to the chains of this world.

I’ll praying much for you, sister! God Bless you!

July 20, 2015 at 16:09
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

It definitely sounds like you’re struggling with depression.

But just so you know: Scars don’t make you ugly. (Hopefully you have good stories to tell–I have one on my cheek and I don’t even have a good story about it :((( )

Freckles are adorable, especially if they’re only on one cheek.

OF COURSE YOU’VE GAINED WEIGHT SINCE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL WOMAN. 30 pounds isn’t that much when you consider boobs, new curves, muscle etc. That’s a healthy, normal amount.

Celby shared some awesome advice too.

I’ve struggled with severe depression so I really do understand what you’re feeling. Remember comparison is the thief of joy. You weren’t created to be like anyone else but you. Also, our thoughts create our emotions, so guard your heart and your mind.

Be kind to yourself. Very, very kind. One thing I’ve learned from depression is this: Nothing is as terrible or hopeless as it feels in the moment.

Make an effort to sleep well. Lack of sleep contributes strongly to depression.

If you ever need to talk/vent, my email is Adventuregirl2264@yahoo.com

I understand how terrifying it is to share your emotions and thoughts, I still haven’t told anyone IRL how severe my depression was, and I hid it pretty well. I’m only just getting more comfortable being who I really am instead of what I think other people want me to be. Sometimes I’m really good at it (being me) sometimes I relapse and people please and freak out if I think people don’t like me. It happens. Be patient with yourself, and love yourself.

July 20, 2015 at 16:48
Mandi_lee2014

Mandi_lee2014

I want to say that all these girls are right, and I know that you are beautiful. I was actually just having a conversation with someone who was talking about how insecure she’s gotten since pregnancy because she has stretch marks, extra weight, and other things that come along with motherhood and all she sees is her flaws. But that she is recognizing she has to remember God made her and loves her.
But with all of that said, depression is a VERY serious thing. It is something that should be managed by a physician. You should go see your doctor and be completely honest with them in whats going on. They may be able to give you something for scars (Ive been using Mederma on my self harm scars and it helps a lot) and they may also give you some anti depressants that can help balance your mood a bit. Counseling may also be good, I know it helped a lot with my self esteem issues as I talked about it and they can give you some great ideas to help too.
But know that you should only do that if you want to and are ready. When it comes to any kind of mental illness you have to be ready to take care of it before you can actually take care of it.
Also, know that I dont stigmatize any of this. I have depression, body dysmorphic disorder, PTSD, Generalized anxiety, recovering from an eating disorder, and I have attempted suicide before. It’s a hard battle when you hate yourself. But you can do this!

July 21, 2015 at 15:58
QueenFemminist97

QueenFemminist97

I sincerely advise you to get professional help. I know the idea is scary, and it may feel awkward. It will help though. Being able to sit down to talk to someone who won’t yell at you, won’t tell you that you’re wrong, and won’t try to talk over you is great once you get used to speaking so much.

I agree with the other girls though. You are BEAUTIFUL !

I use to scoff at this, but I now find it beautiful.

God created you. He spent nine months crafting the genetics that make you who you are. All this time he spent working on you before you were born, and he continues throughout your life. Every freckle you have was handpicked, your eyes took time to decide, every little aspect of you God picked with care.

How beautiful is that? Someone took all that time and effort to create you. No one will look just like you. Which is why it’s useless to compare yourself. Each aspect you have compared is unique to you, chosen just for you, and you won’t find them in anyone else. You are beautiful and unique. Don’t let any make you feel otherwise.

In short, depression is a serious illness, and it needs to be taken care of professionally. It can be healed though. Eventually through the right help and people you will find yourself not feeling like this all the time. It will get better. That’s hard to believe now, but it will.

I send you all my love, prayers, and support. I hope you see just how amazingly beautiful and unique you are.

July 21, 2015 at 20:38
Mandi Pi

Mandi Pi

^ Beautiful, listen to what all these ladies have said. <3 You are beautiful and made in God's image with a purpose, and any other thoughts in your mind are lies. I do really think you need to talk to someone, specifically an adult, about what you're feeling and struggling with. Find a teacher, church leader, friend's parent, or even one of your parents that you trust. Just please don't keep it inside and try to deal with it by yourself, because so many people are willing to be there for you, and we're all here to support each other since we all have the same struggles. If you ever need someone to talk to, you can find me on here, or my email is Amfin@earthlink.net. I love you, and I'll be praying you have strength and that you'll find someone you trust to help you. <3

July 24, 2015 at 09:28
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