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Does This Bug You Too?

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Random Thoughts and Questions Does This Bug You Too?

This topic contains 33 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  carolinereinhart1 1 year, 5 months ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 34 total)
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kellybarta14

kellybarta14

So, this isn’t a major issue in my life or anything, it just bugs me occasionally. πŸ™‚ Like your average high school girl, I have had my share of boy problems. And yes, I ask for prayer about it. And yes, I have graduated from high school and have never had a boyfriend, but I am content, love my life, and am thankful to be here. That’s beside the point, anyway…

It drives me crazy when someone tells me, “Kelly, you will find a wonderful man, I promise!” Even sometimes my friends and youth leaders tell me that. It makes me want to explode because it isn’t God’s will for everyone to marry one day. It may be God’s will for me to never marry, and it may take some getting used to if, but I am okay with that.

Have you ever been promised you will marry? Does it bug any of you also?

June 9, 2015 at 17:19
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

Omg. I am so happy I’m not the only one who feels this way! It drives me crazy. Marriage is a serious commitment, I don’t understand how people can take it so lightly. They assume everyone will be willing to make a commitment to be with someone for the rest of their life, but not only that, people push you to start dating and thinking of marriage when you’re so young.

I do really want to get married, but not for the sake of marrying, if that makes sense. I really, really hope I find my dream guy someday, but if that never happens, well, I’m very happy single πŸ™‚ If I marry, it has to be a guy who’s my very best friend and someone I just can’t live without.

June 9, 2015 at 18:10
Marcy

Marcy

Yes! Someone else feels this way! AdventureGirl’s post basically sums up how I feel. Yeah, I would be very happy if I found the right guy but, even though I’m out of high school, I’m not really thinking about finding him that much yet and I’m certainly not ready to make such a big commitment yet. I have nothing against young marriage, but, with so many people around me trying to show their support of people who get married young in opposition to the rest of society delaying it, it gets to the point where there is a lot of pressure to get married young and that it’s better to get married young and even to the point that you’re doing it wrong/not as blessed if you don’t. I also have a friend who wanted to get married, it wasn’t God’s will for her life, and, you know what, she is a very happy, fulfilled, godly woman. I’ll just go be like her if the right guy doesn’t come along.

June 9, 2015 at 20:00
carolinereinhart1

carolinereinhart1

It bugs me when people say, “Oh, you don’t need to be in a relationship right now.” I’m 16 years old and I’ve never even flirted with a guy before! I think that’s a problem. Plus, most of the people who say that are people who had relationships in high school or married young.They were already married by the time they were 25, and each of them started dating by 14 or 15. I don’t see how they’re qualified to tell me when I should or should not date.
Does anyone else feel pressure to date, but can’t because they want a specific person or type of person? Or are just clueless about how to get the right person’s eye? That’s my main dilemma.

June 9, 2015 at 20:21
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

Caroline~AHHH yes! I hate feeling pressured to date. I’m like, why?? Dating can only end one of two ways–break up or marriage. I’d like as few breakups as possible, and I’m not ready for marriage, so I don’t want to waste time dating right now. People who try to nudge me into dating drive me crazy.
Plus, like you said, I have a specific type of person in mind, and honestly I haven’t found him yet. It’s hard to explain that to people whose minds are so absorbed with dating anyone and everyone though πŸ˜›

June 10, 2015 at 09:26
Marcy

Marcy

I’m now one of those annoying people who tells other people they don’t need to be dating yet. πŸ˜› But seriously, the pressure to date is ridiculous. Once again, everything AdventureGirl said is so spot on. I don’t see why people think you NEED to be in a relationship. I’m looking for a specific type of guy–and I’m not sure I’m ready to find him yet since I’m not really ready for a longterm relationship–and I’m not going to just date anyone and for sure not just for the sake of dating someone, something people have tried to pressure me into.

June 10, 2015 at 09:40
Marissarulz

Marissarulz

Yeah, marriage is never promised in the Bible. It bugs me too when people try to promise it, because they don’t know if God will find a great man for me. It’s likely, as more Christian women get married than not, but some are to remain single. I wish some people would realize that.

As far as dating goes, I don’t see much point to it as a teen. The point of dating would be to find someone to marry, right? If you date when you’re a teen, you’re going to either:
1. Break up, or
2. Know you’ve found the one, and have to be stuck in longing for years because you can’t marry them yet.

It’s not like it’s a sin to date now, but I’m not sure it’s wise.

1 Corinthians 10:23 ESV
β€œAll things are lawful,” but not all things are helpful. β€œAll things are lawful,” but not all things build up.

Marcy, as you can tell, I’m one of those annoying people too. xD

June 10, 2015 at 10:36
carolinereinhart1

carolinereinhart1

I guess really, it makes me angry that people who had a love life keep telling that it’s not necessary for me. I mean, it’s my choice. Yeah, I’m single now, but if I don’t want to be later, I should have that option. I mean, YOU (meaning the person speaking to me) did!
My sister is the one that really drives me up a wall. She’s 20, engaged to (in nicer words) a man no one else approves of, and is telling ME that I don’t need a relationship. The same girl who had her first boyfriend at 13, her fifth by my age (16), and her fiancee makes her tenth. None of her relationships ended well, which I told her would happen, and she made the same mistake over and over, never learning. So, why does she feel qualified to tell me what to do? Idk, that just really makes me mad. >:(
Funny, I know a lot about romantic relationships, and it’s not even from experience. It’s just from watching others… Anyone else like that?

June 10, 2015 at 10:57
Broken Vessel

Broken Vessel

God actually says “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” It was the first thing that He said was *not* good.

He never said anything about being single forever???

I know it gets lonely, but you shouldn’t be worried about never getting married when some of you aren’t even old enough to be married right now.

Go, live your life! It’s gonna happen someday.

June 10, 2015 at 12:02
carolinereinhart1

carolinereinhart1

But Paul also said that it is okay to be single. I want very much to marry a loving man and have children. I just want to make sure it’s the right man so I don’t have to force my children to go through an ugly thing like divorce or abuse. Rushing into a relationship can be very dangerous, and I want to ensure that I find the right guy. However, due to how much complications increase in pregnancy after 35, I’d prefer to be married before then…

June 10, 2015 at 13:05
Broken Vessel

Broken Vessel

You’re right!
Paul did voice his opinion on singleness, but he isn’t God. Some even think Paul was asexual, and therefore had no desire to be married- it wasn’t because God pointed him out of the crowd when He was pairing people up and was like “And none for Gretchen Weiners”
God created our bodies this way (safe reproduction years 20-35) for a reason.

June 10, 2015 at 13:27
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

BrokenVessel–Well, with 7 billion people in the world, we’re not really alone, even if we never marry πŸ™‚

Caroline~lol sometimes my friends ask me for relationship advice–which I’m happy to give–but it makes me giggle because I’ve never in my life been in a serious relationship. Still, it ends up being good advice because I just base what I say off the Bible and things I’ve observed, and things I’d want in a relationship. Can’t go wrong with that πŸ™‚

June 10, 2015 at 13:31
Marcy

Marcy

Paul, inspired by God as he wrote those epistles, said it was okay to be single and that it was okay to be married. There are good things about both those situations, and God has different plans for different people and all those plans are good. You may be called to get marry young and that’s good, you may be called to get married later in life and that’s good, and you may be never called to get married and always be single and that’s good, too.

June 10, 2015 at 14:42
kellybarta14

kellybarta14

Oh my goodness I am so glad I have people I can relate to! Caroline, I like your post a lot (I like your name too :)). I have a friend like your sister who goes from guy to guy a lot. She is now pregnant and not with the guy anymore. I have another friend who is now married (she is almost 18) and had a child out of wedlock. I have learned so much from love without ever being in a relationship! Hokey smokes!

June 12, 2015 at 12:35
carolinereinhart1

carolinereinhart1

We were shocked that my sister graduated without getting pregnant. And thanks, I love your posts and your name, too. Is your friend, the pregnant one, going to be okay? What does she plan on doing with her baby? Is there anything specific I should pray for? I always hate it when guys leave their children and significant others. It’s inexcusable. But glad you learned so much. People watching is one of the easiest ways to learn life lessons. πŸ˜€

June 12, 2015 at 14:08
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