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Everything is changing

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Scottman82 1 year, 3 months ago.

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I’m at a point in my life where everything is changing. This has been the hardest year of my life and I’m looking for some advice on how to deal with it…and my friends aren’t helping…at all.

At the Beginning of the year my grandma (who we have lived with since way before I was born) passed away. Shortly after that my parents informed me that we are moving…to a different state. About a month after that I found out that my Youth Pastor and his family are leaving for another church. About two months after that our youth group started to fall apart…everyone was lashing out at each other, teasing, mocking, lying, gossiping. It was getting really bad. All of my “Friends” were turning on each other. Relationships were being ruined by simple misunderstandings. On youth group outings you would never be able to tell that we were the “christian group”. Swearing became second nature to everyone. I feel like an outsider because I don’t swear, or flirt with every guy I meet. They all come to me for advice…and then the next minute they are mocking me because I’m innocent and have no relationship experience . Our youth group is already falling apart and our youth pastor hasn’t even left. One girl is thinking of leaving to find another youth group, one guy is considering not coming back, two kids aren’t coming anymore because everyone was mean to them. I was the “leader” of the group…I was the senior who inspired everyone to try to be content and to be kind….but now I’ve graduated and i’m moving away. They have nothing left and I won’t be there to try and keep everything together. I don’t know how to help them…

Also I’ve been feeling really alone lately…I’m surrounded by people but i’m alone. I have a few people who call me their “best friend” but no one that I would call my best friend. All of my friends confide in me…but its about stuff that doesn’t matter! Like what guys they like, how they hate that one girl, things like that. I used to care about stuff like that but now I realize just how temporary those things are…I listen to my friends and think ‘Why can’t they see how unimportant these things are?’ their life would be so much better if they could just change their perspective. I need friends who can encourage me to be a better christian and right now that wouldn’t describe any of my ‘close’ friends. I know I need to change that…but I don’t know how.

My questions are:

How can I help my youth group come together and support each other instead of tearing each other down?

Is it time for me to cut ties with my friends and start over completely or do I need to find a way to make it work?

How can I tell my friends that they need to change with out making them hate me?

Any advice on how to deal with my Youth Pastor leaving?

Thanks for reading my crazy long message 😀

also I want to make it clear that this isn’t my way of crying out…I’m still quite happy with my life even though this year has been hard. My focus is on God. My perspective is what is keeping me going. I just wish I could share my perspective with other people. :/

July 28, 2015 at 21:09


Hi! 🙂 There has been a lot of change in my life, too. Just in general. My family has moved ten times in my life lol and I unnderstsand how hard it can be to move away from all of your friends and everything.
And about everything that is going on in your youth group, sometimes it’s hard to fix stuff like that on your own. I’m sure you’ve been praying about it, and I think that is the best thing to do, as well as continue to live for God. Until you move away, continue to be an example to everyone else for how to live for God, and ask God to help you show them how they should be living. This might just be through living for God yourself, or maybe sometimes He will want you to say something. Just overall, pray and try to do whatever is God’s will and trust that He has everything under control.
anyway, also, depending on who your friend is, you should pray and ask God whether it is better to cut ties with the person or to continue to try to make the friendship work. If the person being in your life is just completely having a negative impact on your life or if they just bring you away from God instead of bringing you closer to Him like a friend should, then I guess just ask God what would be best. Allow Him to use you in the lives of whoever He needs you in; remember, you can’t always change things by yourself, but with God’s help, and by letting Him use you in His plan, things can change. And if in the circumstances, you need to say something out loud to some friends about what needs to change, pray about what to say and whether you should say it, and whatever you discern should happen should be a part of God’s plan and everything will fall into place.
After you move, of course, you will be farther from your youth group. This does not mean that you need to completely say goodbye to best friends in your youth group or anything. And maybe God sttill has a plan for how He can use you in the youth group even from a distance. But if not, always remember to trust that God has a plan somehow to make everything work whether you are in it or not. And it can also be ehard sometimes to really know what God wants, I know. But just in general, I would say to pray about everything and God will let you know what you need to know about how you can help. It is great that you are keeping your focus on God through all of the change, becuase while lots of things in life might change, God never will. He still always will love you unconditionally through everything, and He has everything under control no matter how chaotic all of the change seems. I will be praying for you and for God’s plan to work out perfectly! Oh, and you can definitely share your perspective with others. Even if you don’t saay anything out loud, live your life for God and live so that others can see the light of Jesus in you. I like the saying that goes something like, live the Gospel because you might be the only gospel someone will read. As in, even if someone never opens the bible, just seeing you will give them a glimpse of God because of how overflowing you are with God’s love to share with the world. So, remember to keep living for God and everything will always work out in the end. God bless! I’ll be praying 🙂

July 31, 2015 at 20:19


Praying!!! God will work everything out!! 🙂

August 15, 2015 at 14:38
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