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Ex’s As Friends

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  SJ1998 1 year, 11 months ago.

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SJ1998

SJ1998

Recently, my ex came back into town for winter break! While he was away at college, it was easy to focus on more positive parts of my life. Not that he is a solely negative! We have a lot of the same friends, but here’s the kicker. He goes to my church.. This makes everything harder for me! I see him almost every Sunday and Wednesday praising God (with an great voice I might add), helping with kids, and sharing some great stuff. He is one of my best friends because of this! It’s very easy for me to share stuff with him, or go to him when I need a pick-me-up. But he’s still my ex… I just find myself worrying more about what I’m wearing to church or about what I say now that he’s around again. And this always happens when he comes home! I just wish I could find a happy medium where I can still be his best friend, but not stress myself to death about how much I still like him! Advice?

January 6, 2015 at 03:59
lovejesus13

lovejesus13

oh my goodness we’re in the same boat here!! This guy and I liked each other for a while and then he “broke” it off but he goes to my church. We’re not best friends though and he doesn’t talk to me much. But I know how you feel! My advice would be to pray about it but sorta just ignore it. I don’t know who broke up with who but you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable about what you wear and do if he’s there. If you know your clothes are appropriate then the only opinion that matters is God’s. If he judges you for what you wear or say or do then it’s clear that he’s being a nice best friend or thinking of others. If he does that kind of stuff, it’s probably a good thing you guys broke up. has he said anything to you to make you self conscious about your actions? Unless he says something, I would ignore it and do what you want (within reason 😉 ) and not worry about what he might be thinking. When the guy I liked didn’t talk to me or made me feel awkward, I just didn’t care. he was the one making a big deal about it and I wasn’t going to be affected by how he felt or acted. It’s a lot harder said than done I know but every time you feel nervous about what you do or say or wear, just quickly call out to God to ask him to help you be confident and not to worry about that. Hope this advice helped, but if not, I hope other people comment on here. 🙂 Sorry for any typos.

January 7, 2015 at 23:46
lovejesus13

lovejesus13

oh I just saw that you said you still liked him. Well then scratch out about half of what I said except, don’t worry and pray about it 🙂

January 7, 2015 at 23:47
SJ1998

SJ1998

Thank you so much! I will definitely be praying about this… I just would try and dress up more, instead of just dressing how I wanted! Which was more jeans or sweatpants. :p It feels good knowing someone else is in the same boat! 🙂

January 8, 2015 at 10:43
AudgPaudg

AudgPaudg

Well, we’re all in the same weird situation!
Here’s a thing to think about: What would it be like if you two hadn’t dated? You would be great friends, right? Try to think about the times before you had dated/courted, and act like you had then. It gives a whole new perspective on your friendship.
Also, focus on why you’re at church. You’re not there to please the young man, you’re there to praise and learn about the one that created you, the guy that’s king of the universe, and your heavenly father. 😉
Don’t worry, you’re not the only one in this weird limbo-ness of finding yourself thinking about your ex… I’m here too 🙂

January 11, 2015 at 22:09
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