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Family member has a drinking problem…help!

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  AdventureGirl 1 year, 8 months ago.

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jordanrenee1994

My dad has a drinking problem and not only is it affecting him, its affecting the whole family as well and I have two younger brothers and its not setting a good example for them..can anyone suggest anything i can do to help?

March 23, 2015 at 20:44
Celby

Celby

I myself am no expert on dealing with parents who have issues with alcohol, but make sure you, or even better, a relative like your mother or another responsible adult talks to your father honestly about how your lives as family members are being affected by his habits, but don’t forget to be as polite and calm as you can be; you don’t want to start tensions in the family that would bring further issues. Also make sure to not argue with him if he is intoxicated because it is likely that it will just further promote worse behavior and he is likely to forget anyway ( but the feeling of madness may still remain).
Proverbs 15:1-A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.

Being calm, polite, and collected will do better than to stir up a huge argument and it also shows godly character.
Mention to him how you think your lives and relationships could turn even worse if he doesn’t stop. Let him also be aware that you aren’t doing this simply to oppose him, but rather to better the family and his own relations with others as well– especially those two young boys; don’t forget to talk about them and how you want them to grow up with a good father, to be respectable, self-sacrificing, and loving the way he could be (or was before this, possibly).
Colossians 3:21- Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.
Tell him to imagine what would happen to his sons if they no longer had a loving father. Would they not begin to become discouraged that their dad didn’t couldn’t be trusted and wasn’t a loving, sacrificial father? They may even become worse drinkers themselves due to his example, ruin their health, have bad and abusive, relationships, become lonely and depressed, and shatter their futures if they follow his behavior. Ask of him, if he would really want that for them, if not, then why would he want that for himself?
Another important thing to ask is how his emotional and internal life is, because there may be deep reasons as to why he is doing this. Many people who drink are depressed, and seek alcohol as an escape. Let him know you will always be there for him and love him.
As a child yourself, try to set as good and Godly an example as possible so your younger brothers have a good role model. Pray, pray, pray! You don’t want to forget to ask God about it and ask him to deal with the situation. He is always there and will surely help you with the situation if you are persistent. He will never leave or forsake you and your dad, so be comforted.

I’ll be praying for you and your family.
God bless πŸ™‚

March 24, 2015 at 22:13
Marcy

Marcy

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. πŸ™ Both of my parents are alcoholics so I know what it’s like. The most important thing to remember is that this has nothing to do with you and it isn’t your responsibility. It’s great you want to help and you definitely can; just make sure not to own the problem to much. This is your dad’s problem. I know that letting go and accepting that was the hardest part for me. Learning about alcoholism and why my parents sometimes act the way they do helped me the most. This is one of my favorite articles on the topic: http://kidshealth.org/teen/drug_alcohol/alcohol/coping_alcoholic.html Finding healthy coping mechanisms (mine is playing computer games) helped me a ton, too. Without that, I’m afraid I probably would have turned to alcoholism myself, so make sure you find things that help. I’m not sure what to tell you about your brothers because I don’t have any siblings, but be there for them where you can and be willing to listen if they need to talk about it and stuff and help them learn about alcoholism and find their coping mechanisms if you can. I haven’t used the resources much so I can’t say how much they’ll help, but Alateen and Alanon have been recommended to me and they’re programs designed to help people with family members struggling with alcoholism. There’s a lot of resources with both of them online that may help you and your brothers. If you need to talk about anything, I’m here to talk. Hang in there. <3

March 24, 2015 at 23:18
Linerss

Linerss

Your dad will never change unless he wants to change. I think you should be the good example to your siblings πŸ™‚

March 29, 2015 at 01:58
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how difficult that must be for you and your family. Definitely tell someone mature that you can trust, who will give biblical advice.

While it’s awesome that you told us on here, and we can give you advice to some extent, it’s important to tell someone you can talk face to face with. You need encouragement, advice and support on a daily basis from friends in your life.

If you don’t have an adult you know well enough, tell a trusted friend. Tell a pastor. Tell someone! You shouldn’t have to feel you have to hide this, or deal with it alone.

That being said, if you don’t feel comfortable doing that yet, please update us when you can! πŸ™‚ We’re always here for you! If you ever want to talk more you can comment back here (duh πŸ˜‰ ) or email me at adventuregirl2264@yahoo.com πŸ™‚

March 29, 2015 at 09:06
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