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Fear

This topic contains 6 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Nino99 7 months, 1 week ago.

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Smores14

Smores14

So I know I just made a post not too long ago, but I need to talk about this desperately. My dad has the knack for getting people angry over things. And today he posted an image I’ve seen other variations of, but with the same horrifying message, which I won’t say as to not give them the satisfaction of the message. He posts stuff like that to make us angry at them. It ticks me off because, for me, I know what they do. I know my future has been screwed over because of it. I don’t need the constant reminder. It’s a sad day when a 16 year old has gotten to the point where she can’t see herself living more than another 5 years because of how bad the world is. I have nightmares about these people. I wish my dad would realize that. I got mad at him and he got even more mad at me than I was at him. He always used to tell me I’m a coward because I never watched the news, and now I do and I don’t want to because all it does is make me angry at literally everyone. Even myself. But the fear of the future is killing me. I don’t want to be by myself anymore. I’m afraid of the dark now, having not been afraid of the dark since I was a child. I jump at car doors slamming outside, and the shouting that comes with it. I don’t like sleeping anymore, in fear of having a nightmare. I don’t trust anyone anymore. I don’t really know why I wrote this, but I guess I just need some guidance. I’ve driven myself into a rut and I can’t seem to get out.

May 28, 2016 at 19:56
May93

May93

I’m sorry that you’re feeling like this-it isn’t good to live in fear or anger. It sounds like watching the news is part of what’s causing these negative emotions. If it is, then you should probably take a break from watching the news for now. You need to do what’s best for your mental health. Try focusing on hobbies that you enjoy and that help you feel happy and calm-like reading, painting, knitting, etc. If you’re a Christian, read the Bible and pray whenever you start to feel scared or angry. Focusing on something else will help you feel better.
Also, if you would still like to keep up on current events, you could find a healthier way to do it. For example, you could look at articles online instead. That way you could choose what topics you want to learn more about and what topics you’d like to avoid.

June 2, 2016 at 19:18
Mandi_lee2014

Mandi_lee2014

I agree with everything said, and also recommend chat room for anxiety, and even counseling if that is an option. You can learn to better handle the fear that overtakes you with it.
Just take deep breaths and know, it will change when you are an adult. When you dont have your father shadowing over you in the same way (I had to take a big step away from my parents)

And it may sound cliche but it does get better

June 3, 2016 at 18:19
Nino99

Nino99

Some people are much more affected by disturbing news than others. (I’m another one who has been extremely affected by near constant exposure to disturbing news) I completely agree with what was said above about reading online vs watching on TV….furthermore, news stations tend to replay the same footage of the same events continually throughout the day, which makes these things seem even worse to us. As for your dad, you need to talk to him (I would suggest including your mom in the conversation too ..sometimes a second person can be the voice of reason;)) about how these things are affecting you. When it comes to mental or emotional struggles, others oftentimes don’t understand how difficult it is because most symptoms are internal…my family didn’t realize how much I was struggling until my grades started slipping and I began to have panic attacks…in other words: outward symptoms of an internal struggle. Of course, nobody wants to reach that point. Tell your parents “watching the news and hearing what you have to say about it constantly really stresses me out and makes me angry and the world around me; I need some space to breathe.” Or something like that. Fill your free time with more of what you love. I read in your profile that you love music, so play your instruments more. And music CAN bring AMAZING change to the world…it can help you relax, it is a healthy outlet for emotions, and it can inspire others. I also suggest you spend more time outside and with friends. Just go sit in a park and read a book for a while…that does wonders in clearing your mind 🙂 If you feel comfortable with it, open up to a friend or someone else (grandparent, aunt/uncle, religious leader, etc) about your struggle. If you don’t feel ready for that, or simply don’t want to share such deep feelings with someone else, write about it. Oftentimes, we can’t quite understand our own emotions. Writing about it helps you put things into perspective while acknowledging your own suffering without the fear of others’ judgement. Just write how you feel to get your emotions OUT. The feeling afterwards is freeing. 🙂 And if you feel stressed about this on a daily basis, incorporate breathing exercises into your daily routine (search “breathing exercises to help with anxiety” in Google). That will help you feel more in control. And don’t forget that how you feel is completely, 100% legitimate. Everyone is impacted by these things in a slightly different way, and there’s nothing wrong with your response.

June 5, 2016 at 08:44
Smores14

Smores14

I talked with my sister about it last Friday. She told me that even though it scares me, I should still watch the news, otherwise I will be living in the dark and stick my head in the sand like an ostrich. Which is some of what my dad told me about. She said it nicer than him, but it didn’t really help me. It’s like I know that I SHOULD but it just freaks me out so much. On social media, I have seen posts from people who are requesting the U.S. Open to be attacked by radicals. I live where the U.S. Open is this year, and now I’m extremely paranoid. Just this morning, I freaked out so bad because when we took our dog out for a walk, we were about halfway through our walk when we heard a scream. It freaked me out so bad, not knowing what caused the girl to scream or where it came from.

June 15, 2016 at 12:17
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

I agree with everything the ladies above said, and let me add that my dad is very similar, and I got the same message growing up.

You don’t need to watch the news. The world will not cave in if your 16-year old self doesn’t know about the shootings and violence some place or another. If there is something you really, really need to know, believe me, you’ll see it. It’ll be on Facebook, yahoo, or wherever. Otherwise, (and seriously, think about this) why does it matter if you know? Are you planning to do something about it? CAN you do anything about? Probably not.

It annoys me that your parents and sister are trying to force you to watch the news. You have a beautiful, sensitive heart, and that should be celebrated, not sneered at as having an ostrich mentality.

As far as the world getting worse, it’s really not. It’s just that we have access to 24/7 world wide news coverage and also we can read stuff that lunatics post online.

Please don’t be afraid, and please, please do not force yourself to watch things you find horrifying. Protect your heart and your mind. If I could go back in time to my 12-16 year old self I would definitely tell her she didn’t have to watch those things. It made zero, zero difference in regards to what happened, and only hurt me. Honestly, who cares if your 16 year old self doesn’t know about a random bombing/shooting whatever? Nothing bad happened when I quit watching the news. I do watch it now, but now I’m ok with it. Trust me, when you get older you change. It’s not that you become insensitive, it’s just that you understand the world better so your imagination is not running away with you, imagining worst case scenarios when you see a random event on the news.

June 15, 2016 at 12:35
Nino99

Nino99

AdventureGirl, I disagree. I don’t think this is a matter of imagination getting the best of her…the fears are valid and should be acknowledged as such. There are absolutely no guarantees to safety..that’s just the truth. Has the world gotten worse? No, it’s just gotten a lot more interconnected, so what happens on the other side of the globe IS relevant and likely will have some kind of impact on our lives. From what I read, it seems to me that the OP has been extremely overexposed to the news…there’s a fine line between knowing what’s going on and spending hours reading/hearing about the details of an attack/shooting/etc. I think it’s important to know what our fellow human beings are going through, but it’s also important to know to take a break when we need it. And as for what one teenager can do to make a difference…she absolutely can make a difference! She can’t stop someone from shooting, or stop an attack from being orchestrated, but there are things she CAN do. she can write letters of support to the victims, can write to politicians (if it involves a change of policy), or can fundraise on behalf of the victims by selling crafts or something like that. I mention all this because I think making a difference and contributing to relief efforts is absolutely crucial in the healing process. At least that’s what I’ve found in my experience. 🙂

June 15, 2016 at 15:01
hsug2

hsug2

Psalm 56:3-4 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God whose word I praise — in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?

I’ve also been struggling with fear these past couple of days and I’m really thankful to God that he’s helped me through this. Fear is the result of Satan’s lies, and to battle them we must use God’s Word and rely on the Holy Spirit to work in your heart.

When I was overcoming my fear (very similar to yours) when I realized it was a spiritual battle, if a fearful thought came into my mind I would yell (not out-loud, in my mind) the above verse and related ones like Joshua 1:9 and 2 Timothy 1:7. God is not a God of fear but of peace, security, and love. Trust in Him and He will work in your heart to remove the fear and give you His power to overcome the fear.

Whether or not you should watch news….. that should wait until you’ve overcome the fear or made significant progress on it. May God help you!

July 15, 2016 at 09:33
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