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Forced to church…

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Wolfsmaedchen 3 months, 2 weeks ago.

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My parents force me to go to “church.” I say “church” because this place isn’t really church. Church is the body of Christ. This place is lukewarm. The pastor never mentions repentance. Just a bunch “accept Jesus” and “ask Jesus into your heart.” Nowhere in the Bible will you find those phrases. The pastor preaches like he’s talking to a 5 year old. He also tells stories a bit too much. No one in the youth group really seems concerned about living for God. They mainly just goof off in Sunday school. I just want to be surrounded by true believers. My mom doesn’t even read the Bible. When I take a look at my parents life, I see no difference between them and the world. They don’t bear fruits of the Spirit. Instead they produce works of the flesh. Yet they insist on forcing me to this “church.” What should I do. I feel I’m being suffocated spiritually. I tried to live a life surrendered to Christ, but I was shot down by my own family who claims to be Christian and the “church.” They really discouraged me and now I’ve fallen away and even feel drawn to things of this world. Please help.

July 9, 2016 at 22:35


Have you talked to your parents about how you feel (and why)? If you do this calmly, then you could probably reach some kind of compromise of going with them to their church and going to yours as well (whether with or without your parents). Going to their church isn’t going to harm you; it may hold you back, but as long as you hold on tight to your beliefs, you won’t lose them. In fact, going to a church other than “your own” can be an enriching experience of learning what others believe (more often than not this helps us understand why we believe what we do). And I’m sure the pastor would be open to your feedback (“I’d like to hear more about this…” Or sit down with him over a cup of coffee and discuss/compare beliefs…I’ve done this several times with many people, and it can be a really awesome experience to just listen to what the other person has to say!)

I’m not trying to tell you to accept your parents’ beliefs, but be open to compromise in regards to where you go, while still holding onto your personal beliefs.

July 10, 2016 at 08:05


I have been in a similar situation (although I considered myself atheist) and I know how hard that can be *hug*. Even if our situations are different, I can totally understand you. My family also didn’t look like they’re true believers (maybe they are, but they never talked to me & my sister about having a relationship with God or gave reasons why they wanted to go to church). They insisted that I should go to church and I was forbidden to utter any doubts about the existence of God – but they never showed me if they were moved by a sermon or something like that… they were just in church because “everybody was”. When I rebelled against that, it was a huge deal. I remember my stepfather calling me “stupid” and other things…

Two years later, we didn’t go to church on Christman Eve because he just didn’t wanna go. Now, my family hasn’t been to church for almost three years, my little sister chose philosophy instead of religion in school and nobody cares.

Well… “When I take a look at my parents life, I see no difference between them and the world. They don’t bear fruits of the Spirit. Instead they produce works of the flesh. Yet they insist on forcing me to this “church.””

I can totally relate. If you want a confrontation, it can be hard and you can be hurt… But if you can find another church/youth group where you feel more at home (maybe you can also try that out before you “announce” that you want to go to another church because you don’t like the one your family visits), go for it. I think it’s worth it. You should find your own way in terms of faith and as long as you don’t end up in a strange sect, everything’s fine 🙂 (I thought maybe that’s also a point where your parents are concerned – if so, maybe you can talk to them and when you’ve found another church you want to visit, show them).

Religion is a very personal topic and people can act very emotional and irrational about it, no matter how grown up they are ^^

July 11, 2016 at 15:08
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