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Friendships and Loneliness

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  JessicaAnne 1 year, 8 months ago.

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JessicaAnne

JessicaAnne

I’m almost 19 years old and I’ve never had a “best friend.” Growing up, I had a few friends that I hung out with at school, but when I try to talk with them or get together now that I’m out of High School I can’t get any response. It’s almost like I’m invisible. I’m starting to wonder if I’m the problem, and if so, what can I do to fix it? I know God is my ultimate best friend, but I would be so nice to have someone that I can talk to openly about everything in my life and have accountability concerning my spiritual walk. Am I doing something wrong?

February 25, 2015 at 19:23
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

I completely understand girl. While God is definitely the ultimate best friend, He also intentionally created us for relationships with others. Remember Adam was lonely without Eve, even though he was in direct fellowship with God! So your feelings are totally normal 🙂

Since I don’t know you, I really don’t know if you’re doing anything wrong or not. Sometimes I have trouble cultivating close friendships, and its because I focus on myself to much: am *I* saying the right thing? Will she/he think *I’m* stupid for saying/thinking such-and-such? etc.

I would say the key that I’ve found for getting closer friendships is to not be afraid to be who you are, and to make an effort to talk. Just send a txt, call, initiate a get-together, DO things together. Laugh together. Share something funny/weird/awesome that happened to you. Suggest you do something crazy (not bad, just weird–the person who says yes is a keeper ;))

Often it’s funny (or even not funny) shared experiences that bond people together 🙂

February 25, 2015 at 19:41
vanilla

vanilla

I don’t know whether or not you’re doing anything wrong, because I’ve kind of been the same way myself. I have had one best friend in my life, and I didn’t meet her until I was 18. Unfortunately, she’s now on the other side of the country, which is really hard. But I am in the process of becoming good friends with someone else. Sometimes it takes time to meet the right people.
However, I’m not going to completely dismiss my difficulty in finding friendships as just a matter of them. I think part of the problem is with me. I’m shy, so I tend to not be myself when I’m around new people, and also, I do tend to be serious at times so I think I almost scare people away, or I at least don’t make a good impression. It’s hard, but I’m working through it. And I’m super grateful for the people that have come along and given me a chance. 🙂

February 26, 2015 at 13:19
becks

becks

I totally understand what you’re going through. Recently, I’ve begun to question my entire life. No one has ever really walked through it with me, and I have serious doubt that anyone truly knows me, or will be there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on. I’ve been blessed with so many people, but I constantly fear that I’m just another person they can ask homework questions to.

But that doesn’t make you unworthy of knowing. I’m sure, in fact, I KNOW you have an amazing story, because God wrote it for you. I pray that you have perseverance and know that one day it will all make sense. Remember, God loves you and has been there with you every second. God send different people into your life at different times for a reason, so there’s certainly some reason he has not given you someone that you’d deem a “best friend.” My advice for you would be to live in God’s joy every day. People will delight being in your presence and feel more comfortable with you.

March 7, 2015 at 06:24
JessicaAnne

JessicaAnne

Thank you all so much! I definitely have a lot to think about and pray about. I’ll be praying for you girls as well. 🙂

March 27, 2015 at 11:24
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