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Help Mend a Broken Heart: Part Two :/

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Relationships Help Mend a Broken Heart: Part Two :/

This topic contains 3 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  BridgetteMarie21 1 year, 7 months ago.

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Hi, again.
Back in November I wrote something here about my broken heart concerning a guy who acted as if and told me that he liked me and then ended up telling me it wasn’t true. Now, unfortunately, I’m back not 5 months later with yet ANOTHER guy problem. Looks like a severe pattern for me. 🙁
To make a looonnnggg story as short as possible: My close friend and I became even closer by relating to my situation and I had known for I while that I liked him but becoming better friends really made my feelings stronger. I didn’t really want to get into a relationship with him though because he is, at this point, unstable in his faith. My dad even told me I could only be his friend. But, sadly, I screwed up the whole thing and just had to get into a relationship prematurely. We both knew our spiritual differences would hinder anything further, but I told him I would help him as he started his walk towards Christ (which in my mind made things better.)
However, my pastor and another man in my church, both of whom are wise men that I greatly respect and look up too, told me that I need to put an end to the relationship and the friendship because we are both hindering each others spiritual lives. Basically, if I really love him and care for him and really am trying to do what is right by God, I need to walk away. And I agree, it’s out of hand. But, it hurts and I feel so unbelievably guilty because I’ve led this man on and now I’m going to break his heart when I promised him I would never do that. I know that God is more important, but I need a way to be gracious to this poor man whose life I’m going to destroy. (sorry, so not long story short) Again, advice is very welcome and questions are gladly answered.

April 21, 2015 at 20:40
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Okay. This is NOT an easy question to answer. I am not sure if breaking up with the man is a good or the best idea. Sometimes the consequences of breaking up with someone can really hinder someone very much with their walk with Christ even more so than if you stay together. Especially if his faith is weak, if you break up with him, it is a huge possibility that he may turn away from the faith of Christ even more. He might think that Christians go back on their word or you were leading him on and he may even have more issues to deal with. And believe me- breaking up is never a good thing. It could possibly cause more damage.

On the other hand, I do not know the personal details of your relationship with the man and yourself and how it is affecting your spiritual lives. May I ask about the specific details that the relationship is affecting the relationship? I think in order to help you, I must know a lot more about how it is affecting the spiritual life. Then, i will give a better answer.

Look, maybe you did start the relationship prematurely and against your better instincts/or choice in life, but God allowed this to happen. He could have prevented it from happening- but he didn’t. Obviously, God has a bigger picture for both of you and wants you both to learn important things from this relationship. Even if it might not seem like that now, remember that God has his hand on it.

The impression that I get about your response is that I do not get the impression that you perhaps do not want to break up to him. I feel it is more you feel that you have to because a wise man, or this pastor said so we must break up. They might be right, they may be wrong but they are in the end of the day, just mere humans. They cannot guide you in the right direction, as much as Jesus can. Only look at his guidance. Only God can really direct you to the right decision. Pray to him, ask for guidance. This reminds me when Joseph found out that Mary was pregnant from the Holy Spirit and he was not sure whether he sure divorce her or stone her. But the realtiy was that there was another option that was available for him- and that was to marry her. To apply it to your situation, to you, it may seem that to stay in the relationship or to break up with him are the only options. But maybe there are more options on what to do in this situation then what you think. So my advice for now: be receptive to Jesus and ask for his wisdom. You would know as soon what you have to do. If you get a clear answer, you will know. If you don’t know his answer, be patient and wait things out. Do nothing until you know what the Lord wishes you to do. And once you know what the Lord wishes you to do, do the right thing:)

I hope this helps!

April 22, 2015 at 15:51


Bottom line: God should be first and foremost in your life. If anyone, especially guys, are hindering your relationship with Christ, or you are hindering theirs, then it is not right. So if this is truly the case, then sadly, I’m afraid you may have to separate. Further, if you find it becoming a temptation, then that’s not what God, your parents, your counselors, and most likely him, want. So you may need to step back a bit in your friendship/relationship.

Pray tons. Ask God for wisdom on what to do. Ask your counselors, youth leaders, and especially parents.

Continue to encourage him and encourage a relationship with Christ. And especially make sure to live out your Christian life.

Whatever you do, do it carefully and lovingly. And remember God has a plan, and lesson for you to learn. 🙂

Hope the situation is resolved soon.

April 22, 2015 at 16:51


I’m a little bit confused, if you don’t mind me asking, how was helping him become a Christian (or a stronger Christian) hindering your faith? You don’t have to answer, it’s a very personal question, but I was just curious.

In my opinion, I think helping him find God would strengthen your faith, especially if you find yourself explaining to him why he should believe in God.

I don’t think you should break up with him, unless your faith is being hindered by him. But if you really want to strengthen your faith and help him believe, maybe you should get him a Bible (if he already doesn’t have one) and find a Bible study online that you could do together, a really simple one. That way, he’s learning about God and you’re being reminded of all the lessons about God you’ve learned throughout your life. Who knows? Maybe you’ll learn something too! 🙂

Keep praying darling and encourage him to pray as well! 🙂

May 6, 2015 at 08:54
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