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Help with my crush, please and thank you

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends High School Girl Talk Help with my crush, please and thank you

This topic contains 15 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Jules101 9 months, 2 weeks ago.

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Jules101

Jules101

There’s a guy at school who I notice stares at me a lot, he tries to brush by me sometimes. (One time, he brushed his whole body against my back), and if he’s laughing with friends, he always looks at me. What does he mean by that? Him and his friends also laughed after he brushed against me. Later he kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye and smiling. And then I saw him again after school and when he saw me, he looked away and had the most adorable smile, so I don’t think him and his friends are doing this just because I like him. But what are your thoughts Ladies? Would he also be a good or bad friend choice? One day in Gym, a girl was helping me get my weight. She said it out loud, and he said something about the number right below mine. I thought he was being mean but he’s been more friendly lately. After lunch, I notice he tries to walk by me to talk. I walk too fast sometimes, and I’m shy. I’m working on that tho, and I remind myself God will be with me in social situations. He walks with friends but he’s been alone lately, like they planned it? Also, like I said, he stares at me and sometimes he’ll make silly/serious faces and smile. Sometimes he holds the eye contact, sometimes he doesn’t. And I’m not sure how we keep making it, like one time when another boy in gym keep standing by me and his eyes were big; when we were doing curl-ups; we were on opposite sides of the gym with our partners, and he was staring at me when I stood up. Each time I looked back, he wouldn’t look away. One time when something funny happened, he turned around and smiled at me for a few seconds. I have opportunities to say “Hi” but I haven’t yet. Do you think he would be patient while God helps me work on my shyness? Or would he give up and not smile at me anymore. I’m just going to think of him as a friend, since he feels like one already. I could see God wanting us to be together but I don’t know. Could he still like me if I’m shy? And would it be ok to just tap him on the shoulder and start talking? That’s the only way I know how to get people’s attention and he does know who I am. We’re friends on Snapchat and Instagram

February 4, 2016 at 16:19
ArtiseyDisneyGal

ArtiseyDisneyGal

From what I heard this guy definitely likes you! And about that weight thing, that a way guys flirt. He wasn’t being mean!

And if he is someone God wants in your life, he will have the patience. It sounds as if he likes you already so he knows who you are inside and finds it beautiful.
I too can be quite shy myself, and the guy I like isn’t the most outgoing type too so it can be weird when a conversation starts but once you get into one it just flows.
Don’t be afraid to go up and start talking, I think that’s a great idea! It’s a good way to get to know him better and he can start getting to know you.

If you have any other questions don’t hesitate to ask! I’m always around this website XD

February 4, 2016 at 20:37
Jules101

Jules101

Thank you! You helped so much! How was the weight thing I guy flirts? I don’t get that. I planned on talking to him today. I walked right up besides him, but he was with his friends. Should I still talk to him if his friends are around? But he also didn’t look up. Our hands brushed against each others and he smiled a little…let me know what you think. I’ve liked so many guys in the past, and I wish one would like me back

February 5, 2016 at 09:52
ArtiseyDisneyGal

ArtiseyDisneyGal

A way guys flirt is they tease you, I don’t know why. I mean even I can flirt like that at times, though I don’t know why.
Go for it! Even if he is talking to his friends, don’t interrupt him though
(obviously). Typically what I do is just kinda “invite myself” into the circle of people. No one ever minds!
It does indeed sound like he does like you, and if he doesn’t show it much around his friends that’s okay, he could just be embarrassed and doesn’t want his guy friends to say stuff like “Oooh are you two dating?” ect. So don’t worry about that!

February 5, 2016 at 13:48
Jules101

Jules101

Hey, so I just saw a Snapchat of him with a girl. I’m not sure if they’re just friends or something. Was I too late? Would he not want to hang out with me now? And could he still like me if we didn’t talk yet? Thanks again so much! There’s just times when I feel good, and then bad

February 5, 2016 at 20:31
ArtiseyDisneyGal

ArtiseyDisneyGal

There’s never a “too late”. There’s only a perfect timing.

Whatever happens and whoever that girl may be was all already planned out by the Lord. Don’t be discouraged and give up, just keep on doing what you’re doing and being your fabulous self!
I know how you feel with that whole up and down thing. But if I learned one thing from it is to never give up! It does pay off, I promise. It may be how you expect or how you don’t expect.
Just walk into the whole situation with your head held high and you being you.

If you still have other questions please let me know! And don’t at all feel like you’re annoying me or asking me too much. I enjoy helping out my sisters.

February 5, 2016 at 21:29
Jules101

Jules101

Aww thanks, you’re the sweetest and most helpful person I met! I appreciate you saying I don’t have to worry about annoying you. Do you have an email? I’d love to talk with you more! Not just about this of course; you seem like the perfect friend and sister!

About the situation, why didn’t God want me to be that girl? Am I not allowed to have friends and crushes according to Him? It seems like He wants me to be hurt and I was pretty happy thinking the guy liked me. Sometimes it was even pretty obvious

February 6, 2016 at 09:17
ArtiseyDisneyGal

ArtiseyDisneyGal

Of course! It’s: painthowrse@icloud.com

Sorry it took me so long to reply, this day has been kind of rough for me.
God wants us to have friends! It’s his desire, Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says: Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
God wants us to have friendships in our life, friends are here to help us and to help grow us in the Word.
It’s not that God doesn’t want you to be that girl, God has other plans! And make sure you watch where you tread carefully because it can lead to envy. I’ve been there (and admittedly I still am) and it’s horrible. So don’t feel envious or jealous over that girl, because God has plans for you!

Then, God doesn’t want you to be hurt! Romans 8:31 says: What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
God is on our side, don’t ever let the devil tempt you into thinking that God wants to hurt us and that he wants us to be hurt. One of my favorite movie quotes is from God’s Not Dead and it’s about struggle:

Mark: You prayed and believed your whole life. Never done anything wrong. And here you are. You’re the nicest person I know. I am the meanest. You have dementia. My life is perfect. Explain that to me!
Mina’s Mother: Sometimes the devil allows people to live a life free of trouble because he doesn’t want them turning to God. Their sin is like a jail cell, except it is all nice and comfy and there doesn’t seem to be any reason to leave. The door’s wide open. Till one day, time runs out, and the cell door slams shut, and suddenly it’s too late.

The Lord wants us to rely on Him, so he’ll put hardships in our life and we’ll struggle, but God won’t ever give us something we can’t take, we’ll bend but not break.
If God brings you to it, He’ll bring you through it!

So if either that guy likes you or not, the Lord has plans. Big BIG plans, what he wants of you to do right now is to rely on Him and His plans for you. Then everything will work out.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

February 6, 2016 at 21:03
Victoria_anneee

Victoria_anneee

Hey Jules! I’d just thought I’d join in the convo too thinking that maybe I could give you a little words of wisdom like Artsy :).

So, relating back to your last post. Of course God wants you to be “that girl!” God loves you and wants the best for you. But, God also has a plan for you. Sweetie, God has the perfect timing and the perfect person for you out there! I’m sure there is already a person out there God has made for you, and you for him.

But remember 1 Corinthians 13:4, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” Let’s break down this verse. In God’s plans, they aren’t always speedy and instant. The love your looking in this world from a guy requires for you to wait patiently for it, if that what God intends, not just for you to be patient while you are in love. I know it seems hard now but you have to be patient for the right person that God had planned for you, and this guy could, or could not be, the guy the Lord has planned for you to be with. Even though it’s hard, patience is key.

I believe God is kinder to us then we think He is. Is this guy isn’t the one, God could be being kinder to you by doing you an unknown service to you by this guy not being the right one or by offering you something better, we just don’t know. But, either way, kindness relates to my next point.

I think Artsy hit the nail on the head by basically saying her own version of “it does not envy.” Don’t become envious. God wants us to love one another and be kind to each other. So, even if this guy does end up with another girl, stay kind and loving to both her and him.

God does want you, me, and everybody else to have friends and crushes! For one, it’s perfectly natural, and two, that’s why God gave us companionship, because He knows it’s important to us.

God NEVER wants to hurt us. Like Artsy referred to and the Bible says in Romans 8:31, “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Jeremiah 29:11 also says “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” God plans for you wellness, not for you harm! God is on your side and has your best interest at heart. I understand why you might’ve thought that though, that God may have wanted to just take that happiness from liking that boy away. However, that’s not the case because God doesn’t play for evil, God plays for love! For in Jeremiah 31:3, it says “The Lord appeared to us in the past,[a] saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love’.” God loves you and is 100% with you!

Also, just a little sisterly advice for you in general. I know it can be hard, especially as girls, but don’t try to over-analyze things to much. It’s tempting, yes, but it makes us stress over little things too much that, in reality, aren’t too big a deal. Also, try not to get too wrapped up in the moment. It is good to live in the moment and can be refreshing, but remember to take a look at the big picture of life sometimes and try to really figure out the big things and the little things.

I hope the best for you my dear and if you have anymore question, feel totally free to ask away! <3

February 6, 2016 at 23:44
Jules101

Jules101

Thank you for joining in on the convo! Thank you for your advice! How would I know if I he is or isn’t the right one? And was I too late when I didn’t talk to him and then he had that snapchat with that girl? I just can’t stop thinking about it. I had an opportunity and I just got nervous because his friends were there. I’ll at least try to be his friend!! What exactly was I over-analyzing and how can I see the bigger picture? Maybe that’s how I get disapointed whenever I like someone

February 7, 2016 at 15:08
Victoria_anneee

Victoria_anneee

There really isn’t a way for you to know if he is the right one. There is no exact science to it. Only time will tell for certain things like this. We just cant know or predict if he is or isn’t the right one. My advice is just trust God with all you have. Have faith that He will bring the right person to you at the right time. Have you prayed to God about this? If not, PRAY! God wants you to talk to him about these sorts of things, especially if they mean so much to you. You have plenty of questions and God is available for you all the time to you to ask these questions! Feel free to ask and pray to Him the same questions you’re asking me. But, I really challenge you to pray to God about His plan for you. If you have prayed, keep praying about it! I also want to mention to you that God never leaves a prayer unanswered. He does in fact answer all our prayers, but sometimes his answer is something we aren’t wanting or expecting. God’s three main answers are “No, I have something better/something different planned,” “Not yet, be patient,” and ” Yes.” Also, try to remember that God moves in unexpected ways so when He says Yes, He isn’t going to do things the way you would expect them of do them, He’s going to do things the way He would do them. The same priciple goes for when you ask Him to show you things. Have faith and trust in the Lord.

I don’t really believe in “too late.” However, I do believe in Gods perfect timing. Maybe he has already been talking to this girl for weeks now and you haven’t known it or they just started being friends, I don’t know. I wish I could tell you that but I can’t because that’s between the boy, the girl and God.

In relation to getting nervous, oh I’ve been there. But the only way to over come that sort of thing is to just push through it and walk up to them anyway and join in the conversation. In my experience, nobody really minds when you join the convo.

Also there is nothing wrong with just being his friend. That’s what people do and it’s perfectly natural.

The thing about over-analyzing is that there is normally something simple that gets thrown way out of proportion. For example, I think you are putting way too much thought into this guys body language. Sometimes that’s just what people do, especially if it’s only happened a couple of times. Just because someone stared at you or accepted your friend request doesn’t mean they like you necessary. You need to put more thought into what this guy actually does for you on a personal connection. Trust me, honey, one day you are going to want a guy that you have such a personal connection with and can just talk about God, your friends, your family, your beliefs, opinions, theories and regular mundane things with. You want a guy that attracts you on that level, not a guy with a spark I his eye and gives you butterflies when you look at him. Those things are great and all and come along with that type of connection too sometimes but those things don’t build a lasting relationship, just a temporary one. Spiritual and emotional connects are what build long lasting and sturdy relationships, especially the ones build around and for God.

If you want to think about the bigger picture, think about the things and people that really make up your life now and in the past. These are things that are really important to you, things and people that you’ll remember for years to come. Now think about what’s important to you, really, REALLY, important. These are things that are basically your number one priorities in life. First you should think of God because once God comes first, everything else will fall into its place. What I mean by that is that once God is the number one thing in your life and you are all for Him with your heart, soul and mind, He will ,ale everyone in your life is dactyl how it is supposed to be according to his perfect plan. Next could be your family, your mom, school, collage, your art or even your dog! Whatever it may be, think of those things and how much they matter and how are those things going to fit into your future. How are those things going to fit into Gods perfect plan for you. That should get you thinking about the bigger picture. Just ponder on that every night, what really matters to you and what doesn’t, if you do and trust God and pray to Him about it, I gerentee you’ll be thinking about the bigger picture sooner then you think.

Also, I have to ask, have you ever actually talked to this boy or has he ever talked to you in a nactual conversation? And no, just passing by each other or commenting saying one to two words does not count. I’m not trying to offend you or be rube by the way, just trying to get a better grasp of the situation.

February 11, 2016 at 21:26
Jules101

Jules101

Oh no, you’re totally right! I haven’t talked to him yet but I plan on it when I see him next. I guess he could have talked to me too the many times we passed each other. We probably would’ve by now if I stopped getting so nervous. I didn’t know I was also putting too much thought into his body language. Sometimes when I look up from something, I just notice he’s looking at me and he looked nervous while doing that once. I think I just noticed it because I don’t see guys usually doing that and it would make sense if he liked me, otherwise I have no idea why he would do all that

February 12, 2016 at 20:17
Victoria_anneee

Victoria_anneee

Don’t forget, its not just you who should be putting in the effort. It takes two to tango. You shouldn’t be the only one trying to talk to him, he should also be trying to talk to you. It should be a mutual effort.

Hope that helps sweetie! Let me know if you have anymore questions! <3

February 13, 2016 at 11:19
Jules101

Jules101

Thanks! Just one more question: could it be possible he could be shy? He seemed like that the other day when it looked like his friend was teasing him about being too shy. And is it too late if I start talking to him now? It’s starting to seem like a competition in a way. But thanks so much for your advice! How you said it pushed me to not be scared to talk to him or anyone else

February 14, 2016 at 17:35
Project Inspired

loveslight

Hey:) I agree mostly with everything that everyone had said before, but I thought I could give you some advice from this situation as I have been in a situation like this before:)

I don’t think that this guy is right for you or is interested in you for the right motives. My older brother has always told me that a decent guy who was interested really in you would go up to you and talk to you to get to know you. He would want to knows the ‘real you’ and you would have great conversations. He would also ask you on a date quickly. The fact that he hasn’t done this raises a red flag that he isn’t interested in you.

Let’s suppose he does like you and he is too shy to talk to you? My brother has always said that if he is, it shows that he isn’t really a mature Godly man and is full of insecurities. He is a young man not worth your time anyway because he doesn’t pursue you nor cares enough about your feelings to tell you the truth of his feelings.

You have mentioned he does this and this,according to flirting/body language signs but there is actually no ‘real’ connection or substance to it. Just because he flirts with you does not mean that he is interested in you romantically. I think it is possible that he may be ‘playing with you’ for his own ego. He might just want you to be interested in him romantically, but doesn’t want the commitment of being in a long-term relationship with you. If he is doing this, you shouldn’t be interested in him. It shows he is a selfish person and only cares about his own feelings/ego.

To sum it up, I would assume about 98 percent that he is not interested in you. Of course there is a slight possibility that I could be wrong but I would recommend you to focus your attentions elsewhere. Instead of thinking, day-dreaming and trying to put you in situations with him, focus on God. Avoid praying if he the one now- try to pray to get to know God better and more intimately. Only God can satisfy the deeper longings of the heart! Also keep busy with other things like schoolwork, friends, and developing your talents. Focus on other things in life that are more worth your time!

I hope this helps and I am sorry if I am a bit too direct!

February 15, 2016 at 13:19
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