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He's Single… And Looking to Pursue A Girl…

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  kellybarta14 7 months ago.

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Hey girls. So, I have had my fair share of struggles with boys, as I have definitely posted about here. And not to mention there have been many times I have gotten my hopes up…

Anyhoo, I am involved with a Christian group at college called Intervarsity. So, there’s this guy at Intervarsity, right? He is only about 3 yrs older than me, I’m 19.

Going on, I developed interest in him about three weeks ago, and I heard from a third party he is looking to pursue a girl, but doesn’t know how to go about it. When I say a girl, I mean just a generic girl, not anyone in particular.

He’s a strong Christian, and I’ve gotten to know him better these past few weeks. He seems like my type too, and is very respectful… According to my friends when we went golfing the other week, he was “totally checking me out” and seemed to be really encouraging me at golf, more than any other girls. I will be seeing him every week at Bible study as far as I know this summer also.

It seems the odds are in my favor, but I’m just not sure. I want to ask him to hang out or something, but don’t want to come off as a creep or too strong. We’ve talked a bit, but haven’t had any like deep conversations or anything. My friends are saying I should ask him to hang out, but again, I don’t want to come off as too strong or desperate.

I have been praying about this, but I want to know… What do you think I should do?

June 11, 2016 at 22:17


Just try asking him if he wants to go out for coffee or mini golf or something fun, but keep it casual 🙂 If all goes well, keep talking to him. There’s nothing desperate about asking if he wants to do something fun with you.

June 13, 2016 at 17:15


Hey girl so I felt compelled to reply because this lowkey sounds like a guy I used to crush on plus a situation I was in similar to yours. The only problem in mine is that I don’t think he’s looking to pursue anything right now (he’s in physical therapy school so it’s crazy academically) so I think that the fact that he feels he’s ready to pursue a woman is a plus in the situation’s favor. I would ask God to help you discern if this is something you should pursue as well. Continue to be his friend above anything else besides praying about it. You never know, the more you get to know him as a friend, red flags could come up that turn you away from the situation. Definitely ask God that if it is something you want to pursue to make you available to be pursued by him. Which I think you’re already doing in the respect that you’re being his friend instead of hiding behind your group of friends, admiring from afar wishing you could get to know him (trust me, I’ve been there). So really just some advice is pray about it, I would maybe stick to not asking anything specific but if say your group is going out to lunch or dinner or like Sonic or something after your normal hang time, definitely ask if he’s going, that’s not desperate at all, it shows interest, but it’s not overt. Don’t stress too much about it. God’s got this situation, girlfriend, and if he ain’t the one for you, God will bring you out of this situation with at least a new perspective and a stronger relationship with Him. 🙂


June 16, 2016 at 17:04


Hey girls! Thanks so much for the input! So, to keep you updated, things are looking up.

He does seem to talk to me more than other girls, not by a landslide, but if one looks carefully. At game night on Friday, he seemed to be initiating conversation with me, although it was more like when we were playing games, kind of across the table. I guess not conversation, but for instance, defending me in those games where there are evil and good players. Also, the boys were playing video games, I came in the room, he was like “You wanna take over my spot Kelly?” I said no, but eventually agreed, and without me asking, he showed me all the controls and was like “If you wanna know how to do so and so, I could show you.”

I drove my friend Ann home from the game night, and without me saying anything, she said “Oh my goodness, you and Paul were… he was definitely talking to you!”

I actually talked to one of the guys fairly close to him to get his input as in “Should I pursue anything? Is he still looking to pursue a girl?” He said he would subtly hint things, but not directly say, “So, Kelly…”

As of now, the odds appear in my favor. 🙂

June 19, 2016 at 19:24


Also, I forgot to mention, I am gonna listen to my friends’ advice and wait like 3 months before confessing to him or anything

June 19, 2016 at 23:01
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