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How do I even take this?

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  katrinalove 1 year, 7 months ago.

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Isaiah61_16

Isaiah61_16

Okay so I have been dating this guy for about 13 almost 14 months. We are really strong in our faith and we have our priorities right. Well lately a lot of girls that like him have been starting drama, he keeps encouraging me to just ignore as much as possible but it drives me insane. On top of that, we had a night where we just told each other everything in our life story. Well, he told me that before he was saved he had sex and hated talking about it. He dated that girl for 2 years and the she left him after. I’m not sure how to really take it. He never told me and now I like don’t really feel special anymore. Like i’m still a virgin and I crossed my boundary of having my first kiss till my wedding day. I wanted that really bad but one day it just happened. But I just don’t feel special knowing I gave him my first kiss and he gave his first kiss and his virginity away to another girl. What do I do?

April 15, 2015 at 05:30
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Flute2013

Hey there!
I think I can see where you are coming from. But try to remember that he gave his virginity before he found Christ, and by accepting Christ, his heart is made new through Him. Jesus said that by declaring your faith you are washed clean of your sin.
And it sounds like this guy loves you and trusts you enough to tell you about stuff he would rather keep hidden. Thats awesome that he trusts you that way! So try to see that he started over with a new life in the Lord. And everyone has had problems and bad times, but we shouldn’t sacrifice the good times because of it.
Try to see him as washed clean, and deepen your faith together, and share your feelings with him about the Drama-Rama girls that like him. You can solve things by talking it out.

April 15, 2015 at 17:20
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katrinalove

Hey,

Drama Girls:( Ugh. That must be so annoying for you:( What I know from experience, is that girls tend to cause drama because they WANT you to break up or they are jealous about what you have with the guy that you have been dating. I would ignore it and be patient. But pray to Jesus to give you the perseverance and strength to overcome the drama the girls have been doing:) Just keep remembering- they have bad motives and just keep patient; be kind to them. I know it is hard but it will pay off. But if they do step over the line, you may have to be kind to them but be direct. Sometimes having a direct manner with some people can solve things. They may not like what you have to say but that’s their problem. They have no right to create drama and sometimes a slight directness can be helpful:)

About the other thing, I can understand why it is tough for you. From the sounds of it, you were not expecting it and it kind of shocked you. He obviously trusts you and good for him to have the guts to be honest about his past life. Too many relationships are just ‘surface level’- they avoid being honest about their own feelings or just pretend that they are everything that is perfect. Clearly you are close to him. Look from his point of view- it must have been horribly difficult for him to admit to the girl he really likes that he isn’t a virgin! He must be slightly afraid about your reaction or how you would take it.

About not feeling special, you are special:) Just because he had sex with someone else, does not mean you are any less special. I don’t know how many years ago that it happened but does he regret what happened? I mean if he is truely repentant about his actions, that’s great:) Who knows- maybe with the other girl before, it was based more on other factors like physicallity?? , rathar than meaningful factors he has with you- like personality, faith in Christ and so on. If God could forgive him, so can you:) Just keep remembering that every sin in life is equal in God’s eyes and if he truly believes in God, he is a new perso like Flute2013 said. About having worry about crossing boundaries, alway have people around you/ don’t hang out at night with him or in places you both might be tempted. On date nights, hang out in a public place:) And pray to God to help you both be pure with each other:)

About what you should do, I can’t really advise you there. I guess you might be thinking about the above topic throughout the day but I can suggest is try not to worry. God allowed this to happen in his own perfect timing and perfect judgement because he knew that you can handle it. Just pray to God- be honest with him that you are having difficulty in handling the situation and ask him for wisdom. And God will lead you to the right decision because he is always faithful:)

I hope this helps!

April 15, 2015 at 21:32
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