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How do I "realtionship"?

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Relationships How do I "realtionship"?

This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Praiseforever24 1 year ago.

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Praiseforever24

Not entirely sure how to start this, because well, my mind is all mixed up in itself and I’m not even sure what I’m afraid of. I guess that’s how fear works, eh?
So I’ve been friends with this guy for about 5 years. A lot of things happened in those years. We liked each other, everyone knew it. I was only 14 and totally shouldn’t even been thinking about wanting a boyfriend, but like every girl…it was on my mind. Things happened and we had to break apart (not that we were ever officially together). So from then on, we became strangers to one another and tried to avoid each other as much as possible and an air of awkwardness was always surrounding us. Through the next 3+ years, we both grew up… a LOT. Especially me. About a year ago, we started to form a friendship that I adored. Simply because from before then, we had never been just friends. We met, liked each other, and then things happened, we weren’t allowed to be friends. So to have a friendship with him is a thing that I value(d) more than anything. Over this last year, we became friends and then it started moving from that to more. My brothers were the ones to point it out to me. I was scared to even acknowlede that things were moving in that direction. And most of all, I was afraid to admit that I actually liked him. It’s not something that I wanted. I prayed and prayed…and, you guessed it, prayed. I eventually accepted the fact that I was having feelings (blechhh). From there, we became closer…but always just as friends. Because of the stuff that has happened, we never talk about “us”. So I am not entirley sure if he actually likes me. I just go by actions. But I may just read into things. Who really knows. I’ve been praying and praying and God is moving! It’s to the point where I can just feel Him answering my prayers. Things have been happening and I know it’s Him. My question is…after that book (sorry). But now that I’m allowing my self to actually consider and think beyond just the natural flirtation, I’m afraid. I’m afraid of being in a relationship. I don’t know HOW to relationship. We are both very old-fashioned when it comes to dating. I want him to know me and I him. I want to be able to talk to him about anything and everything. I want to have a relationship so close that only God comes between. I’m scared however, that I won’t be able to reach that point. I don’t know how to get there. I feel like I am going to rush it all and end up hurting him and myself. How exactly do you get to that point? How do you open up to another person and let them SEE who you are instead of hving to expalin to them who you are? Sigh. I don’t know if that makes any sense at all. But those are just a few of the fears that roll around in my mind. Please help if you can. Thanks!

November 5, 2015 at 22:10
wendyjunior

wendyjunior

It’s totally normal to feel all of that. Just be open to him. Tell him your fears. Just like you did on here. From there you two can move on, either into a relationship or a friendship. If he doesn’t feel the same way, then you can continue being friends and not regret later ruining a friendship because you dated him. If it is a relationship lay down rules. Keep it holy and make it a relationship that glorifies God. I hope this helped. (:

November 6, 2015 at 14:19
Project Inspired

rinnierose

well assume if you two end up in a relationship it will be scary. It’s terrifying and you feel so many different things. But you know what? That is totally normal 🙂
As long as you guys have solid communication and honesty plus God in the relationship then just continue to pray for God to free you from anxieties. You learn so much in a relationship such as who you are, who they are, and how to grow. Just know it’s work but if it’s with the right person its so worth it and even when you get scared there is still a level of peace with knowing you are here you are meant to be.
Before you share your feelings to him pray! I think it is he mans job to step up and really ask a girl to date him (I am old fashion in that sense!) but if there is ways that you can hint at your feelings or have someone else encourage him to pray about where he sees the possibilities of you two then maybe he ill step up!

Just keep praying and trusting that everything that’s meant to happen will! Best wishes 🙂

November 10, 2015 at 17:45
Project Inspired

rinnierose

Oh and when it comes to getting to the vulnerability and having that deep connection of really getting to understand each other… well it takes a lot of time. When you start dating it is scary to be open and honest but over time as you build that friendship it becomes easy. Just make sure he is someone who can communicate well. Over time too you guys will get better at reading each others tones and body language. I always thought no one was good at really knowing me and reading me but oh man for some reason my boyfriend is so attentive. I think it happens with attraction and the desire to make the other person happy. I mean I still have a lot that I have to communicate to him but over time you get each other.
I struggle a lot with relationships due to past situations but if it’s with the right person you just have an overwhelming happiness that pales your fears.

November 13, 2015 at 16:38
Project Inspired

Praiseforever24

Your last reply, rinnie rose. Hit the nail on the head!!!i guess that’s what I’m most afraid of…I know I want that deep connection that You described so perfectly. Like you really got it. I was just stressing on how exactly to get to that point.scared that maybe it just wasnt there. But I think you are right. It takes time and good communication. I’m so ready to just enter the relationship so we an start building that. 🙂
I appreciate your response!

  • This reply was modified 1 year ago by  Sarah.
November 16, 2015 at 12:37
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