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How do you know you are in love?

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Relationships How do you know you are in love?

This topic contains 7 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  Musician4Life 1 year, 10 months ago.

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Birdy6

How do you know you are in love, and when you can honestly say it to your boyfriend/girlfriend? People say it all the time, and there are movies and books revolving around it, but how do you actually know? And what is it exactly?

January 11, 2015 at 22:08
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godisamazing

Well I would first off read 1 corinthians 13 to understand the meaning of love.So many people get it mixed up with lust alot of times.I would just honestly say it when you know that you to are getting serious to actually avoid heart ache.I would also make sure that you two are ready for the commitment of love for a long time.I know this from my personal experience I have experienced a lot of heart aches because of guys that have done that to me before.I would also let him say it to you first so that you know that he is actually truelly in love with you.

January 13, 2015 at 05:41
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Flute2013

I believe that romantic love is a feeling to start with. And that feeling is very undeniable. When you meet the person God picks for you you know right? Then love becomes a choice for both you because saying I love you is a commitment. So if your ready to say that you see a future in your relationship then you should do it.
Maybe you could google some devotionals on love before you decide and talk it out with someone

January 15, 2015 at 16:42
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Birdy6

Thank you!

January 16, 2015 at 17:36
SignerGirl

SignerGirl

I would say there are three things that would determine when it’s time to say the three words that are taken too lightly in our culture.
1. Knowledge of the other person. Is this someone you think you can love? That’s where the Corinthians scripture comes into play. Can you see yourself loving them like that? Or will they drive you crazy (and not in a good way?)
2. Are you ready to commit to loving them? You don’t have to be on the verge of engagement, but if you see that in the future, then you may be in a good place to say it.
3. what exactly do those words mean to you? What are their worth? I assume, because you posed this question, that you have a lot of respect for these words and what they mean. But do you feel like you do fit what you picture as “love”?
Flute and godisamazing are both right. I love their answers.

January 17, 2015 at 18:40
pjbaseballgirl

pjbaseballgirl

I agree with godisamazing and signergirl about the 1Corinthians 13. Love is definitely deeper than kissing and anything physical for sure. To an extent i think you should picture if you werent allowed to touch the person, would just being with them be enough?
But at the same time the previously mentioned Bible verse is very illustrated on how true you should feel.

January 17, 2015 at 23:57
Ana_Y18

Ana_Y18

Good question… I wonder about this a lot, so I myself can’t really give you a straight up answer, but I can try to help you out! 🙂

There are four types of love (in Greek): 1. Storge, or affection, 2. Philia, or friendship, 3. Eros, or romance, 4. and finally….. Agape, or unconditional love.
I believe that to be in love the relationship must reflect God’s love for the individuals. In other words, it must strive to be Agape, or unconditional (we’re imperfect, it won’t be unconditional all the time but we must strive to make it so). That is the most important aspect. If you are able to love someone with the love God has for us, the other three types will follow. Storge/affection will happen naturally, Philia/friendship will develop as you know them more, and Eros/romance will come along at some point in time. And, like @godisamazing said, 1 Corinthians 13 is the Biblical description of love.

Since most of your question is asking about guidance/knowing (I struggle with this a lot as I doubt my own ability to discern), I would just say this: Pray a lot and ask God to show you when you should enter into a relationship. HE has the best plan and will bring people into your life as He pleases; trust in that plan. A lot of times, movies and books can be deceiving in that they portray mere infatuation or lust and not actual love. As for the “whether-or-not-you-are-boyfriend/girlfriend” thing, talk to the guy and see what he thinks about it. Some people consider themselves boyfriend/girlfriend after the first date, others consider themselves bf/gf after a long time of knowing each other/dating each other. That’s more of a personal conviction or preference thing. @Signergirl did a great job of summarizing three ways to know whether or not it’s time to say the words. 🙂

January 18, 2015 at 10:26
Musician4Life

Musician4Life

It’s taken me a while to really understand what love is, it wasn’t until I had been in love with my best friend for nearly a year that I realized I loved him. I thought I loved my ex, but there was a difference between him and my best friend. Things with my boyfriend were intense and happened in the blink of an eye, but it wasn’t love, it was just the infatuation stage. That’s the way I see it, two separate stages. The first is infatuation; it may last anywhere from a couple weeks to several months. You’re completely captivated by this person, you think they’re amazing, you can’t get enough of them, you feel incomplete without them, they are your everything. You want nothing more than to be with them at all times. This is the stage most people confuse with true love, and after the infatuation ends if you don’t truly love the person you will feel next to nothing to just simple friend love for them. That’s why I feel many young marriages don’t last, people rush into marriage thinking this infatuation is love and when it ends without true love staying, they say “I don’t love you anymore” and break off the relationship.
True love is completely different. True love isn’t crazy, hectic, or intense. It’s calming, it doesn’t waver, it’s always there under every other emotion you may have. You may want to kill the person you love, but you still know you will always love them no matter what stupid thing they just did. I know I love my best friend because I want to support him in all that he does, I want him to be happy no matter what and I want to do anything in my power to help him stay on the right path. He doesn’t love me, he never will, but I’ve accepted that because it’s enough for me to be able to give him support and love as long as I live. I am completely ready to love him my entire life, even if that means watching him marry someone else and never love me as more than a friend.
As for when to tell someone, my personal belief is if you know for sure that you love someone (and trust me, when you know you love someone, you KNOW) you should tell them. Everyone deserves to know they’re loved, but no one is required to love in return. If you love someone, please tell them because 1, they may love you too but think you don’t love them and 2, they deserve to know about love when it’s there. You wouldn’t go without telling a friend or family member you loved them, you would want them to know. It’s no different with romantic love. Always tell people when they’re loved.

January 28, 2015 at 10:59
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