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How old is too old?

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Relationships How old is too old?

This topic contains 5 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  AdventureGirl 1 year, 5 months ago.

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Project Inspired

_erinny

Hi! Soooo there’s this guy. Which is new for me. I’ve never been one to be guy crazy. However, this one guy has got to me. One problem… well I need advice on whether or not it’s actually a problem. He is quite a bit (over 7 years) older than me. I am about to turn 18 and this guy is 25. I keep telling myself I shouldn’t like him since I do know a couple of really great, Godly 17 year olds… but this 25 year old — he just simply gets to me. And the thing is he’s not even the most attractive guy you’ll ever lay your eyes on… it may sound cheesy, but I’m so attracted to his heart. I’ve never had any guy make me feel this way. I haven’t liked him from the start, but as we’ve talked we’ve realized we share the same passion for kids, missions, family, and disney(silly I know!) Like I think beyond the kind of relationship we can have just for our sake; I wonder how God would use us together. I’ve also had a friend tell me he acts different when I’m around… I think there’s something between us. But I keep going to the nearly 7 1/2 years between us. Do you think that is too much? Right now I’m enjoying the friendship and praying about it, but the butterflies even as I type this make me feel like a weirdo! I’ve never had a boyfriend, and it’s rare for me to talk about boys I’m interested in so only a couple of my closest friends even know I’m dealing with this. Could definitely use some advice and prayer! Thank you 🙂

June 26, 2015 at 06:31
Petunia

Petunia

Short answer: No, there’s nothing wrong with liking a guy 7 1/2 years older than you.

Long answer: My grandmother was 9 years younger than my grandfather, and my best friend is dating a guy who’s 11 years older. Age really is just a number, but there are a lot of things that come along with age, such as maturity and experience. Depending on your maturity and experience, it may or may not work out. It’s awesome that he has the same passions! That’s really important, and it’s also really awesome that you think about what the two of you could do for God together. He sounds great for you, but timing is everything in relationships. When two people are far apart in age, they tend to be at different stages of life, and those stages aren’t necessarily compatible, even though their passions might be. I definitely don’t think 7 1/2 years is too much, but I would make sure, if you get into a relationship, that you’re very clear about what you’re expecting from it in the future, because he might be on a different timeline. Make sense?

June 26, 2015 at 11:38
Project Inspired

_erinny

Makes perfect sense. Thank you for the advice! We’ll see what happens 🙂

June 26, 2015 at 14:01
findingthelord

findingthelord

I’ve just gotten out of a relationship with a man who is 10 years older than I am. I was 19 and he was 29 when we went out, and oh how I wish I could have listened to the warnings my mother, sister, and brothers (who are about my ex’s age, my oldest brother is 30; second oldest 28) gave me.

First off, he is too old for you, and that “age is just a number” saying is part of what’s wrong with the world. Is not just a number, age tells you about who that person is: what that person does for a living, whether or not that person already has their life together, their experience, their maturity, etc. If he’s 25 and you’re about to turn 18, I’m questioning what this man truly wants with you. By 25 he should just be finishing university, and getting into a stable career. What does he do for a living? Has he had any girlfriends? What were their age? Does he have a car and his own place?

This man has over 7 years of experiencing the “real” world as an adult and you’re barely finishing high school. You are still going through different phases in life and still trying to figure out what you want do.

I wish I could have listened to my older brothers who knows best. I was attracted, like you, to my ex who loved the same musicians like I did, loved the idea of travelling, we pretty have the same wants in life, etc. But here’s the thing: my ex is 10 years older and didn’t have his life together. So wrong on my part, and I definitely take responsibility for my actions.

My eldest brother told me, “Listen, he’s the same age as I am, what is he doing going out and being interested in a little girl? You’re still young, he should already have his life settled and married to a woman, not going after a teenager. I under if you were 30 and he was 40, that’s a completely different story, but you barely just graduated high school. He either wants sex from you or there’s something seriously wrong with him.” It was definitely the latter. And, like I’ve said before, I wish I would have listened.

Of course, you’re still going to do what you want to do and no one can stop you, but at least think about what I just pointed out and keep your eyes on him: look at his mentality, look at his life. I’m not saying judge him, but definitely know with 100% certainty what you’re getting yourself into.

I wish you the best, darling.

July 1, 2015 at 15:44
City_On_Our_Knees

City_On_Our_Knees

Keep praying about it. Pray that if it’s not in God’s will, that it will nor work out and that you will not feel the attraction to him anymore. Even though he’s much older than you and not in a relationship, who’s to say God has/hasn’t kept him for you? Trust in God that it will work out and keep praying because whatever God had for you will be wonderful.

July 5, 2015 at 14:18
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

Age really is just a number because everyone matures at different rates.

So definitely pray about it, and include your friends and parents in your decision making process because it’s hard to make wise and objective decisions when you really like/love someone.

July 7, 2015 at 08:26
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