Okay, so there’s this guy in my youth group who has a crush on me, and the problem with this is that I do not like him. At all. The whole football-and-hunting culture irritates me, and he is not the brightest bulb in the chandelier (intelligence is what attracts me to people). The other problem is that he is kind of at-risk. People at his school are not very nice to him, and he’s kind of weird and sensitive. So I need help with some methods to very, very nicely discourage him. Anybody have some ideas?
|December 8, 2015 at 10:58|
“___, you’re a great guy, but I don’t really feel a connection with you, and I’m not interested in a relationship. I would love to be friends, though.”
Just be gentle with your words, and don’t say anything that jabs at his qualities. Honestly, just be to the point but kind about it, and it’s fine. Assure him that there is someone out there for him if he objects.
|December 16, 2015 at 15:28|
not exactly sure how to rightly do it cause im a super nice and caring person…but here are a few things NOT to do
|January 28, 2016 at 10:30|
Don’t tell him if you can just be friends. I mean imagine having a crush on a guy and him telling you if you can just be friends. Its hard for him and just makes it awkward. (Advice from a guy friend) Just tell him your not ready or your not attracted. But don’t tell him that y’all can just be friends. Hope that helps.
|January 30, 2016 at 16:58|
Alrighty. So when I was in middle school, this one guy liked me and I was most definitely NOT going to engage in a romantic relationship with him. What I did (it’s probably not the best thing to do but it worked for me) was I was always super sassy to him. He would say something to me, I would sass him right back, and he would be slightly flustered. Just treat him like you would any other friend, nothing more, nothing less, just with a twinge of sass and attitude. You can totally still be friends, but he will know that you aren’t interested (another alternative is getting a boyfriend, but that can prove to be quite difficult).
|February 1, 2016 at 18:30|
ummm…coco, getting a bf should be by your own terms. not for the sake of some other guy though. what you said is very practical. but we have to consider the result too.
|March 31, 2016 at 00:00|
I think if he’s still actively pursuing you (in very obvious ways) then you should sit him down and have a conversation with him–otherwise known as DTR. You should just say something like “I appreciate you and our friendship so I feel the need to make things clear before there can be more hurt. I’m not really interested in a dating relationship right now but I am happy moving on as friends.” Depending on how he responds, I think both of you should set up boundaries as in what are the things that is OKAY for him to say, do, and act as a friend and what are the things that are not. And in some ways you should set an example and be accountable to these margins that you both set. This way you’ll both be alert when something is going wrong/beyond the boundaries.
|April 1, 2016 at 08:38|
I have been in a situation like this. The guy absolutely adored me and would hint about wanting to date me. I guess it’s because I would listen to him and was kind of a spiritual role model to him. It came to the point that he was talking to me about sex, lust, and purity. I was so uncomfortable around him, but I didn’t want to break his heart. Finally, one of my friends encouraged me to tell our youth pastor to get some help. My youth pastor talked to the guy for me , and basically told him to back off and respect me as a sister in Christ. Now, it was not easy the following weeks. I think I have finally come to the point where I can talk to him as a friend.
I hope your situation in resolved by now, but if not, don’t be afraid to get some help from a trusted male adult. That can be your dad, pastor, or mentor. I promise you, if is worth it.
|May 17, 2016 at 09:29|
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