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I don't want to feel used!!! Please help.

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Random Thoughts and Questions I don't want to feel used!!! Please help.

This topic contains 9 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Linerss 1 year, 4 months ago.

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Linerss

Linerss

I was raped before but thats a long story to tell. I really really like this guy. And he makes me feel safe, the way he holds my haND and talks to me and his personality makes me feel safe. He actually told me and asked me if he would be okay with touching my butt. I told him I wouldn’t feel o
Confterable. He told me he wants to feel me and touch me. Not innaproproatly. But just my butt or something. I really really like him. His a christian and he told me that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. But just the fact that he wants to touch me , makes me feel like his using me or somethig. I don’t know if I should continue seeing him or anything like that. I don’t know if maybe I should break everything off with him. I don’t know what to feel.about him. Maybe the whole guy touching thing is normal for a guy to think? His just brave enough to tell me. I just.. am a little worried and don’t know if this is a sign that I need to leave him or not.

July 18, 2015 at 03:35
Broken Vessel

Broken Vessel

I’m so glad I saw this.

This is like looking in a mirror because I was in the EXACT same situation last summer.

Honestly if he doesn’t respect your boundaries, it’s a red flag. Yes means yes and no means no.

July 18, 2015 at 06:26
Broken Vessel

Broken Vessel

http://diannaeanderson.tumblr.com/post/118873930978/so-my-boundaries-are-kinda-strict-because-i-was

July 18, 2015 at 06:38
Project Inspired

Gymnastics14

Major red flag if he says he respects you, cares about you, etc., but doesn’t respect your wishes. He is not being respectful of your body. Respect is a huge part of a relationship. I think, knowing about what happened to you and knowing the current circumstances, you should get out of this situation immediately. The signs seem to be there that he wants to do more than be your boyfriend. It’s up to you, but I would hate for something awful to happen to you again. I hope I don’t sound mean here, just saying what I think would be best.

July 18, 2015 at 07:38
Linerss

Linerss

What if he still saya all those things but says that to do that he is willing to wait, should I still give him a chance?

July 18, 2015 at 10:38
Mandi_lee2014

Mandi_lee2014

First off, I want to say I was attacked and raped just over 2yrs ago and totally get where you are coming from. If he is just saying that and willing to wait for you, and when you are comfortable (which is what I got from your post) then he is not trying to use you, although it may still feel that way. But what I am seeing is that maybe you aren’t ready for a relationship if you are that upset over what he has said. And there is nothing wrong with that. But if you aren’t ready (because the truth is, part of a strong, good, loving relationship is touch) then you need to back off from it. Maybe get some counseling.

July 18, 2015 at 11:50
Mandi_lee2014

Mandi_lee2014

If he isn’t respecting your boundaries, like the other girls said, its a major red flag and you need to leave.

July 18, 2015 at 11:51
Broken Vessel

Broken Vessel

^ The thing is, you really don’t need to touch each other to have a strong relationship. I’m asexual (demisexual) and I see nothing wrong with taking things slow physically.

Idk, the guy who said he’d wait for me ended up raping me and he was also a ”good christian boy”. I think a lot of guys will tell you what you want to hear, but actions truly do speak louder than words.
And in this case, this guy’s actions are contradicting his words.

July 18, 2015 at 12:56
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

^Yes!! What she said. Just because someone *says* they’re Christian doesn’t mean they’re a good person.

He should appreciate you for you, not just so he can touch you. If you say no, he should stop. Period. I’m sick to death of people acting as if men are wild animals who *have* to touch girls because it’s a “guy” thing.

July 18, 2015 at 15:31
Linerss

Linerss

Sorry, what I wrote on the top, only some of you will understand because I wrotwrot this at like 3am and I was stressed. Baha sorry for the grammar.

July 18, 2015 at 16:48
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