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I feel like I have no say in my life.

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Relationships I feel like I have no say in my life.

This topic contains 4 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Flute2013 1 year, 7 months ago.

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freezeon98

freezeon98

So, as of late, I cannot stop fighting with my Mom. I’m stressed out enough with trying to keep good grades, and balancing everything. Lately, we’ve been fighting over my relationships. I was talking to this one guy (just a friend!), and she basically told me to stop talking to him because he had too much drama.

As of two months ago, the guy I was dating broke up with me. I was devastated, and it took me a while to be okay with it. I recently met this nice Christian guy, and we’ve been talking for a couple days to get to know each other. Now, I’d like to say I’m a pretty good girl. I don’t do anything like parties, drinking, and I don’t go out at all. I stay up until 12:30 two nights, and I’m grounded, while my sister is on her ipod reading fanfiction until 1 in the morning. She doesn’t get in trouble.

And now my sister has informed me that Mom told her that I wasn’t going to be able to text the one guy I’ve been talking to because she feels like he’s a player. Yes, he’s been flirting with me, but it’s all been innocent, and we haven’t just been fighting. He has two facebook accounts, but one hasn’t been active since March of last year, so that point is invalid. I’m just really frustrated. I’m going to be 17 in 13 days, and I feel like I should be able to have a say in what goes on in my life. I’m just struggling right now.

March 3, 2015 at 14:54
Marie Tagbo

Marie Tagbo

Hey Friend!

I just wanted to say that this post resonated with me a lot! I’m sure it resonates with a lot of people. Moms are very wise, but it doesn’t seem like they have quite the understanding to see what we’re going through!!
Well, here is what I would like to share:

Moms really really do know everything! Trust me, I know 🙂 It seems like they don’t but they really do! After all, they’ve been more right than wrong. They understand how you feel and they really know what’s best! Seriously 😀

So listen to what your mom is saying. Don’t fight it! Take it to heart. Approach everything she tells you with a “she’s probably right” instead of a “why is she telling me this” or “she doesn’t understand” or “she’s just picking on me!”

Second of all, don’t pay attention to how your Mom treats your sister! After all, she is the mom. It isn’t your job to make sure she’s fair to everyone. Life isn’t always fair. The good thing is that if you take your Mom’s wise words, even if some of them really are restricting, it’s still better for you! Your sister may end up having a harder time when she grows up.

Thirdly, not going to parties, drinking or going out doesn’t mean that you don’t have issues. Maybe you feel like your mom should be happy because you’re not doing things that half the other teens your age are doing. But honestly, heart issues and rebellion are just as big a deal as partying and drinking.

The way I think about all this is that I think about the Israelites. They had whole chapters about the things that they couldn’t do! Tons and tons of restrictions were placed on them. Every time they rebelled, or just complained, it was because they thought they knew better. But God was really right in the end. Your mom isn’t as wise as God, but she’s wiser than you 😀

I really hope this helps! Tell me what you think 😛

God bless, Marie

March 4, 2015 at 08:03
Project Inspired

messy_but_here

I really want to agree with you, Marie, but it’s also important to remember that moms aren’t perfect! Sometimes what they say hurts us. Sometimes what they assume stings.

Moms aren’t perfect. They’re human and messy just like us. They do have a lot more life experience — and that’s really important. That’s worth respecting. That’s worth valuing. It’s worth giving what your mom says each time the benefit of the doubt — but realizing that sometimes she will be wrong, and sometimes she’ll say the wrong thing.

I have a really wonderful mom — I mean amazing, so understanding, so kind. But sometimes, she gets stressed out. And sometimes, she over-criticizes me, and when I take those things to heart it really, really hurts. If my mom is always right, and she says I’m not good enough — well how do you recover from that?

Realizing that mom will be wrong sometimes allows you to take the pieces of advice that are good, without being too hurt by the ones that aren’t.

Sometimes, keeping your relationship with your mom is more important than keeping your relationship with a boy — even if your mom is wrong. Loving and respecting your mom isn’t necessarily assuming she’s right — it’s prioritizing your relationship with her even when she’s wrong.

Hopefully, Mom’s arms will be open and there and warm for you even when the rest of the world (or boys) isn’t. But, we’re broken people and sometimes our relationships are broken. We keep loving the best we can despite it all.

And no matter what, there’s always someone whose arms are there and warm and wide for you, someone who’s running out to meet you — even when the world seems like it’s falling apart. God’s got you, no matter what.

March 5, 2015 at 16:34
carolinereinhart1

carolinereinhart1

Hey girl! So, I’ve been blessed with an awesome mom, but at the same time, I totally get what you’re going through. Lately, my mom has been pushing me to pursue this one guy. He’s nice and an amazing Christian, I’m just not attracted to him, and one of my friends is! Plus, I like a guy that she doesn’t approve of. Like vehemently against him. My advice would be to just listen to what she has to say. Moms are pretty smart. At the same time, if you are able to, try to convey how you feel in a respectful tone. This is hard for me in my family, because if I try to explain how I feel, even in a respectful manner, it’s considered talking back and rude. But some families aren’t like that. Try something like, “Mom, I get where you are coming from and I know that you’re trying to do what’s best for me. But at the same time, I don’t feel like you’ve been sensitive to my feelings. It’s hard for me to listen to what you say when you speak to me like that. If I had that attitude, you probably wouldn’t be receptive, either. Can you please listen to what I have to say for a moment without shooting me down? I don’t want something so stupid to damage our relationship.”
I think that if you handle it with maturity, your mom might listen to what you have to say. And if she still has an attitude about it, just say, “Okay, Mom, I respect your decision. But this is really childish. Let’s agree to disagree and move on.”
Hope it helps! Remember, moms are straight-laced because they care. Trying to protect your kid can lead you to do some pretty crazy things. It’s best to try and see her point of view and be sympathetic. You don’t want a guy to come between you.

April 9, 2015 at 13:38
Project Inspired

Flute2013

I have been there!!! And I know how frustrating it can be. My mother and I are polar opposites, so I definitely see where you are coming from. But just try to remember that being a parent is a scary job. She is afraid for you, and she doesn’t want anything bad to happen to you because she loves you so. And unfortunately this can create a blind spot.
Just start out with “hey mom can we talk about this thing?” And stay calm when she gives you her opinion. Conflict is never solved when we keep each other in the dark. Be honest about how you’re really feeling but don’t let it turn into an argument. And if she still says no, respect her decision, you never know, she might change her mind.
Please put your family first and remember that she loves you and wants to protect you!

April 14, 2015 at 17:37
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