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I feel like Im stuck in a cycle of sin.

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Project Inspired


I need help, I need to stop becoming enthralled with dating and marriage and I don’t know how to do it.
Ive always been in a relationship or looking for a relationship since I was a junior in high school. Im now a year from graduating from college.
I was a virgin till I was 21 and then I met the guy I thought was going to be my husband, it didn’t work out.. After him, I came to find out that my best guy friend, lets call him Eric, had always liked me. He is a strong Christ following man that was amazing for me.. We dated, I loved him and his family. I talked to his grandma about when we would get married.. I was his first girlfriend though and we got physical.
The first time we kissed, I asked him if he was okay, he said yes. But he wasn’t okay. He never was abut he never told me..

We decided we needed to focus our attention back on God and not on each other so we broke up with the intension of getting back together after graduation or when the time was right. A few weeks later we ended up talking again.. He told me I was the one that ruined him, that I “tainted” him because he didn’t want to kiss or get physical. I ruined him..that was heart breaking, more heart breaking then Ive ever been. Enough to make me depressed for months and move to another city 2 hours away, into my parents house. Another friend of mine helped me out through those months, and then he told me that he’s fallen in love with me, a week before I move. We kissed.

How do I stop the cycle, I can’t live in this cycle again and again.

Im counting on this move to help stop the cycle. I already have a church that Im planning on volunteering at. Theres a college ministry there but I don’t know how to go and not look at the guys and think about what could be with them. I don’t know how to stop thinking about if I’m going to get married ever or if I’m going to have the kids I desperately want. I don’t know how a Godly man will want to be with me, when I know how “damaged” and how much “baggage” I have.
Im easy to get along with, that combined with my favorite sin of wanting to be with someone is a terrible mixture.
I feel so far away from God, I haven’t really read my bible in years. I haven’t actually gotten anything out of my community group since I joined it. I don’t know how to tell the guy Im talking to now I want to stop, and not because of him but because of me and my issues. I still want Eric back in my life, I don’t think he will ever forgive me and I know it takes two to tango but I feel like since Im the more experienced one that I shouldn’t have let things get so far.

I want to be different, I want Christ to shine through me. I want to have the foresight of a situation and know that what I’m doing is a good thing or its a bad thing.

Please give me advice. I need some Godly girls to help me through.

April 28, 2015 at 05:47
Project Inspired


The desire to want to be married is a desire that God gave us, so it is natural to be thinking along those lines. That’s one of the curses that God gave Eve in the garden.

God forgives you for whatever you have done and you are defined by Jesus and what he has to say about you. I know, it’s hard to believe that God forgives you-I’ve been there too. Read my testimony Life Began When Grace Found Me.

My advice on the topic of being content when you’re single…God wants to be your WHOLE life, not just a part of your life. Once you have that, He knows the best time for you to meet your Mr. Right. God wants to help you, but you have to let him. Invite him into your hurts and your pain and know that it won’t be easy; it will be a long road. Learn things about yourself that you never seen before and if you don’t like those things, change them. Our relationship with God reflects on our relationship with people.

I hope I answered some of your questions and know that you have someone here that wants to help you.

May 12, 2015 at 19:59
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