Hi girls. So, this is really personal, but this is what these threads are for. 🙂 So, here I go.
Okay, I don’t know if this is normal, but I find oral sex… repelling. Like, if I were to get married someday, I don’t think I would wanna do it. I just find it gross. I suppose either my view will change when I am married one day, or I will have to tell my husband.
So, my question is, is this normal? And will my view change when I am married one day?
|March 5, 2016 at 09:53|
Oh, I forgot to add, I am almost 19 (like 14 days til my birthday)
|March 5, 2016 at 09:55|
So I don’t think this is abnormal at all. I mean, I think things can change in the heat of the moment with someone, and you may later decide to experiment with your husband, but the basic idea of oral (or really any kind of sex in general) can really be repulsive to people.
Plus, another way I have always seen it (I am 20 by the way) is I won’t eat food if its fallen on the ground because of germs, why would I willingly put something so full of germs anywhere near my face, let alone in my mouth.
I think it really just depends on the individual person and relationship. But trust me, you definitely aren’t the only one.
|March 5, 2016 at 10:37|
I would think that that’s completely normal. There’s nothing wrong with you. Your view might change one day, or it might not–but whatever happens, definitely don’t let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to do.
Happy almost birthday! 😀
|March 5, 2016 at 10:45|
I was actually thinking about this this morning, so thanks for posting! I personally find it repulsive too, glad I’m not the only one 😛 (Oh and I’m 20, in case that makes a difference)
|March 5, 2016 at 12:03|
Kelly: that is totally fine! I agree. And that’s coming from someone who, ~moment of perhaps too much honesty~, finds the idea of sex highly appealing (*cough* it’s a struggle for girls too *cough*).
And girl to girl, do not *ever* feel pressured to do or even say something other than what you want to. If you ever find a guy who tells you that it’s weird to be repulsed by oral sex, or tries to get you to change your mind, or anything like that–please, run fast, and run far. I repeat, RUN. Because a respectful guy will understand and *never* pressure you to do something like that if you do not want to do it.
Disclaimer: I do not think oral sex is wrong, however, it should only be done if both people want to do it *honestly and of their own accord*, and of course within marriage.
|March 5, 2016 at 14:53|
Oh my goodness, it makes me feel so much better that there are people in the same boat as me! AdventureGirl. 🙂 I would love to get a guys’ perspective on this, however, I don’t really have any close guy friends my age, and my closest is in SoCal currently and I want to have that convo in person.
That’s a really good point about a guy pressuring me. I will definitely make sure to have that conversation when (if) I am engaged. And I am with you, Mandi, I don’t think it’s wrong if it is in the context of marriage. And, to be honest, most people probably think sex is appealing… I think most girls look forward to their wedding night someday. 🙂
|March 5, 2016 at 17:31|
I agree that it’s completely normal. Everyone has different desires and comfort levels when it comes to sex. Right now, the idea of having any kind of sex is repulsive to me (and I’m 22).
|March 6, 2016 at 15:59|
Hi Kelly. I think the value/meaning behind oral sex transcends the act itself. In marriage, when you are so in love with a man, and knowing that he gains pleasure/sexual fulfillment from oral sex and you are privileged to be the only one that can provide him this joy, you would be willing to compromise your personal preference in order to demonstrate your love towards your husband. Of course this works the other way round too, for a man also has to give up some of his expectations (or make them more realistic) in order for the marriage to function and grow. And this, is the beauty of marriage! Where two people sacrifice, bond and learn to become one (Gen 2:24). Perhaps you won’t completely understand it now, but the idea of it (not the act itself) should drive you and help you look forward to the day you meet the man you love 🙂
|March 7, 2016 at 14:08|
I have a really high sex drive (Mandi, ur totally right. The struggle is real) so sleeping with just about any attractive male (which, if I’m honest is most of them) is pretty appealing. But oral is just something that’d take a very very special person that I love very very much. lol
|March 10, 2016 at 19:11|
And let me be clear….I am NOT sleeping around. I don’t even have a boyfriend at this point in time. Shoot, I haven’t even kissed anyone yet. lol.
|March 10, 2016 at 19:13|
I personally like it normal, not oral. I’m still a virgin, haven’t ever kissed a boy, but still there’s one person I know I’ll marry someday. Really, I believe there’s only one man who can truly turn you on sexually. I know who that person is in my life. I see beauty in many guys, but I wouldn’t say I’m sexually attracted to them; they’re just attractive. I could use my imagination and pretend it’d be wonderful to be sexual with them, but quite honestly that passion isn’t there for them. I mean, I completely adore this guy, for both his external AND internal beauty. That’s the way it’s meant to be. Not just one or the other. He’s really cute to me. I’ll love him eternally. Even in heaven our love for each other will burn on passionately, sexually. God can make room for us two to be like that in heaven too is what I believe. Boys never stop being boys, girls never stop being girls on heaven. So just think, what must be possible then: sex.
|March 18, 2016 at 14:10|
Hi Kelly. I’m a guy (I hope you guys don’t get creeped out that I’m replying to this post). I think it’s good that you are thinking about this. In my opinion, the value behind the action (oral sex) transcends the action itself. And I am speaking about this in the context of marriage.
There is something sacred and beautiful when a couple verbalize the vows and commit their lives to each other. In essence, the man and the woman is committing to expose and make themselves completely vulnerable and naked before one another. This is both physical and spiritual. And sex, or oral sex, is part of the physical nakedness.
If your (future) spouse finds a lot of fulfillment in oral sex, and you as a woman understand and recognize the privilege to be the ONLY one giving him this pleasure, perhaps your perspective might change. You will love the man that you are married to so much that you’re even willing to do something that you might not enjoy now (or will never learn to enjoy) in order to fulfill his need. This is what is so beautiful about marriage, and it goes beyond the bedroom (in fact, sex is important but never the zenith/takes ultimate priority marriage). It takes two people to learn to sacrifice and compromise their preference, so they can together enjoy the perfect bond and unity, as the Bible describes–“two in one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
|March 22, 2016 at 10:02|
It is NOT abnormal at all!! Many people feel the same way! I can safely say that I have very mixed feelings about it. Whether it’s because it’s a new, unknown idea to you and perhaps you’ll enjoy it; whether you choose not to partake in it for whatever particular reason; or whether you naturally have an aversion to that kind of sexual action; all of that is okay! There’s nothing wrong with having an aversion to any kind of sex. There are some people who are naturally repulsed to ALL kinds of sex, some people who naturally don’t prefer any kind of sex, and some people who are naturally hyper-sexual. The list goes on, and all of these are normal, since everyone is created differently. I understand what you’re going through and what you must be feeling. Whether this feeling is something that will go away is something that can only be determined by what your body naturally tells you. It’s normal if it goes away; it’s normal if it never goes away. I can’t tell you whether your repulsion to oral sex is temporary; only your body and mind can tell you that. But I can say that I can understand how you feel, that it is totally normal even if it turns out to be a permanent feeling, and that you are not alone.
|March 22, 2016 at 10:08|
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