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I need a Christian Opinion.

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This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Lexi7 1 year, 6 months ago.

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I don’t want this to be long… but it is going to be, and I apologize now!
My boyfriend of seven months and I recently broke up… and it was totally out of the blue. We are both under a ton of stress with me graduating, and him still being in high school one more year, but we came to the conclusion a while ago that we would go through a long distance relationship if where I go to college is further away. Well, where I am going to college now allows me to commute, but two days ago, we were having our weekly date night where we go and do some kind of activity, get pizza, and watch a VHS movie after at his house… well it was toward the end of the night, laughing as usual, cuddling on the couch, and we started to talk about summer. I told him I was interested in this missionary trip. I would have been gone for nine months… and the mood totally flipped. He feared that he would not be able to last that entire time being away… I told him i wasnt going, but i thought it would be cool if I could, that was all! but the fact that he questioned that made him think we arent ready to be together. We as a couple made God a priority in our relationship, but as we got more physical, God was fading. And we talked about our boundaries and where we want to stop. And how God was to always be our ultimate, we didn’t want our relationship to revolve around the physical aspects, although a part of a relationship is attraction. After praying about being together over the course of seven months, Not once did we feel a pull to separate, but that night, we prayed, and he said God was telling him we need to go our separate ways. I was so hurt, I have yet to eat since! But he wants to remain friends. and we have texted everyday, all day since… talking about our relationship in a way that we neglected to do when we were together. We both still pray about the relationship because we still want to be together, and we really care about each other. When we pray, we find a sense of peace in knowing that there will be a time when we are together again, but there were so many things that were wrong in the relationship. Between our loss of focus on God, and the fact our relationship was not decreasing, but not improving or going anywhere either, and we know that is because we were not ready to take that next step..we as individuals need to be stronger for each other and ready to take that next step and that includes reconnecting with God individually. But we don’t know if the other is the one, but we see that future together. So while we are apart, we are seeing other people.. and I am! But no one is fitting the way we did. And no one will! But we were willing to make God the center, and we tried. and when we couldnt? we decided to reconnect individually… but no one seems to be willing to do the same.
Now that we are able to talk this way, and see what was wrong… I want to try again, and be able to get these things together. But I don’t know if I should even ask. I know God split us apart for a reason, but I know God has plans for a future for us again too. And I know he split us to see these faults and where we went wrong. But now that we know, I just really want to try again! Be more aware. Before we dated, we never took the time to “talk romantically” we were both shy drama kids in the same musical when we met, and we both crushed on each other for two years without knowing the other was interested…he asked me to be his date to homecoming randomly, and how could I say no? then we didnt talk again, but the next year, he asked again.. and the day after, we jumped right into purposefully dating each other… kind of skipped a few steps…
and I want to know the opinion of going back now, and not dating each other again, but court. But to talk of dating like we didn’t. To go on a real date without dating, and lump him up with the other dates I am going on, and to talk romantically before we jump back together again if we ever do, even though that is what we want, and that is what we hear from God…
we want to remain friends, and he asks to do certain activities that we did while we were together- like going him and i for lunch to study the bible once a week, and for me to drive him home after school so he doesnt have to walk. I guess I want to know where we should draw the lines now that we are apart, or maybe we should try again knowing what went wrong, or neither, and talk! We know we need to work individually, can we do that and still be together? He claims he “can’t shake the feeling” that we arent supposed to be together right now, but he wants to. and praying, and attempting to understand.. we know we disconnected and that was the why- so should we try again now to fix that?

May 19, 2015 at 07:05


I think it’s great that you guys were able to separate because you felt like God was saying it was the right think to do. And it can be hard, especially when you guys both care about each other and want to be together. Also, it is great that you can see what was wrong with the relationship before. I think that if there is still that feeling that God doesn’t want you to be together right now, then you shouldn’t yet. And you don’t know God’s plan, so maybe someday, when you both are ready, God will let you know that His plan is for you two to be together. I had an experience recently where I liked this one guy a while ago. He recently told me he liked me back then too, but then he was dating someone else and we both never found out. But, now, we both like each other and we both know, and my point is that God has a plan, and sometimes His answer is wait. Wait for His timing, because it is perfect. It is awesome how you guys can just follow that feeling He gives you, so you know what He wants you to do. So, basically, keep listening to God and He will tell you when the right moment is to get back together. Jesus loves you both, and He knows what is best for you. You guys seem to have good intentions, also, which is great 🙂 Always pray together and remember to continue to make God a priority in your friendship now, and your relationship if it’s in God’s plan for you to get back together. And I will be praying for you, too!! 🙂 God bless 🙂

May 29, 2015 at 11:01
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