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I need a lot of help here.

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Relationships I need a lot of help here.

This topic contains 4 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Lostinthesound 1 year, 10 months ago.

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kyrstenzurk

kyrstenzurk

So heres the back story. i was dating this guy for over a year. i loved him so much, he wasnt a christian but he said he was so that was good enough for me. We started talking and then before you knew it we were dating. we broke up in january of 2014 and then he started dating my best friend. she thought it was okay, i dont know why but she did. then they broke up and he came back to me. i took him back because i loved him. then he started getting into pot and molly and lean and drinking. he was of course underage and it was illeagl but he didnt care and i didnt either because whatever made him happy made me happy. Then we dated all throughout the year and then in september of 2014 he got arrested and got sent to a juvinile detention center, he had no contact and i wasnt alerted until a couple of days after wards. He was then alloud to write me but i only got one note but, found out he was writing to other girls saying how much he missed them and how he wanted to see them. then i asked him about it and he said they were just friends and they didnt mean anything. Then in december of 2014 i broke up with him. i just had enough of everything and broke it off. immediatly i regretted the choice and tried to talk to him. he started cursing at me and my parents and it was a mess. then i found out a couple of days before christmas he had been making out with my best friend (the same one from before) for days in a row. she said it was an accident but i just had enough. he kept saying that everything was my fault. then i started talking to his best friend and D (my ex) flipped out. he said i wasnt allowed to talk to his best friend but he was allowed to date mine. i was really confused.
New years eve hit and he started drunk texting me. saying how much he loved me and he wanted to get married and that my best friend didnt matter to him, that he was all mine and all this other stuff. now i know that drunk words are sober thoughts and then so the next day i asked him about it and all he said was “idk i kinda ment it but i still want to be with K”. i was heart broken. but then a few nights later he was texting me (sober) saying that he loved me and missed me.
I was still talking to his best friend and i liked him a lot. and he liked me. we started dating but i broke up with him a day later and we just remained talking. him and i liked eachother a lot. then D got in the way. telling him all these things i said to D about how i loved him and now his best friend is mad at me and all this stuff. D hates me but still tells me he loves me and he is with my best friend who is cheating on D with like 12 other guys and she has 3 other boyfriends and ive told D about them. and his best friend is mad at me and D keeps telling me all i do is screw up peoples lives and its just hard and i dont know what to do anymore.

January 26, 2015 at 20:03
jeans

jeans

Hey girl, I think you got yourself involved in some toxic relationships. I would cut them off from you. Spend time with God and focus on him. He will mend your heart. Also pursue forgiveness everyday. When you think
it’s over it isn’t. So forgive and just keep forgiving. Just know that love doesn’t treat you like this. You may love them, but they don’t, or they don’t know how to. People who have Gods love in them don’t treat Others like this. Cut off communication with them as much you
can and pray for them. You can’t do anything more, it’s Gods job. So focus on your healing. Receive forgiveness for yourself if you know you have done anything wrong. And if they come to you be honest and say that this is not working AND be persistant.

January 27, 2015 at 09:28
Project Inspired

godisamazing

I agree with Jeans I would just cut off the relationships because in the end it is not worth crying over them if they are just going to treat you like this so just cut them off completly don’t worry about them.I just wanted to share that with you because I was in a similar situation with a guy I liked but I cut him off and I cried for a while but now I relize that back then I could and should have walked away alot sooner so that is what I would recommend your future is more important then guys because guys come and go and your future well you only have one so live love and laugh.

January 28, 2015 at 09:03
Winged Eloquence

Winged Eloquence

You need to be very careful. It isn’t wise for you to keep on pursuing this relationship with a young man who obviously isn’t a true Christian. His behavior indicates that he is not the kind of young man who is even remotely ready for marriage. It doesn’t matter if he tells you he loves you; his actions say otherwise. Period. Don’t let him deceive you.

Why did you enter into this relationship in the first place if you knew he wasn’t a Christian? Frankly, you were asking for trouble from the very beginning. As jeans said, I think you should take a step back and focus on God during this time. Ask God for wisdom. Don’t get so caught up in futile, harmful relationships that you forget the One who created you.

What do your parents think of this relationship? This boy obviously doesn’t respect them (and neither does he respect you). I think you need to sit down with your parents and tell them how you’re feeling. They will be able to help you through this time.

How to move on from this: pray to God. Talk to your parents. Invest in the lives of your fellow Christians. Find ways to serve in your church. Flee from this unhealthy relationship and spend time rebuilding your faith. Ask yourself why you feel so drawn to this young man, despite the fact that he isn’t a Christian. You have some heart-searching to do.

January 30, 2015 at 12:09
Lostinthesound

Lostinthesound

I agree with all the other girls…Run away from this! This is a horrible, toxic relationship and you will NEVER benefit from this if you continue to do this. I think your first warning sign was that he lied to you saying he was a Christian when you knew better. People never tell just one little lie in a relationship. They will continue to lie and deceive you.
Another thing you should NEVER do is date someone who abuses drugs and alcohol, especially if they’re underage.They will only pull you down with them and the only way you can help is by either getting out of the relationship, or reporting him for his illegal acts(trust me, even though its hard, sometimes its the only thing that works for them).

As winged eloquence said, invest your time in healthier relationships. Spend time with people who have the same common goals and interests as you, people who are not involved with illegal or toxic substances. The only way to heal your heart from this ordeal would be to pray, talk about the situation to people who you trust and are trustworthy (parents, church leaders, christian friends, teachers, guidance counselors etc.) and completely cut these awful people from your life.
Now is a great time for you to start over and regain back your happiness and your life. Moving on from this situation can give you a new start and a new hope. 🙂 Best of luck and I will be praying!

January 30, 2015 at 13:20
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