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I want to be more Modest

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  PolkaDot 1 year, 3 months ago.

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So the titles pretty descriptive. But I accidentally made someone lust over me and now want to barf so I don’t want to feel like this. Just ew ew ew.
So I like lower cut tops and I always wear a camisole but there still low. And shorts. What is accepted.
And I’m not thinking about going nun like. I will still wear my jean’s tight because I find it comfortable. But I don’t want people thinking about me like that. I’m not theirs to think about like that.
I wasn’t wearing anything bad, I was playing just dance. But still I don’t want that.
I just don’t want anyone to think about me like that. I feel like decontaminating now..ew ew ew. Please help.

August 11, 2015 at 22:17
Broken Vessel

Broken Vessel

Okay, you can’t *make* someone lust over you, sin is a choice.
If you’ve been taught that it is possible, that’s a perfect example of rape culture and purity culture and why it needs to be unlearned.

Anyways, if you want to be more conservative for YOU, here are some ideas:

*My pastor’s wife LOVES skinny jeans, but she has a big butt so she uses hi-low tops or kimonos to cover it.
*Longline cardigans are also a good idea
*The dress over jeans thing works well, also.
Basically, it’s just adding more layers

August 12, 2015 at 08:30


There are guys who will lust over anything female, and they have a serious problem. While you can help some guys avoid lust (the ones who actually want to avoid it and are trying to), that kind of guy wants to lust, sees women as objects, and will do it no matter what. The reason you feel disgusted by it is because those guys are disgusting.

To add to Broken Vessel’s suggestions–
–Athletic tank tops can be more modest (and more comfy) than your average tank top and often come in great colors. I LOVE Forever 21’s.
–Loose fitting skirts are great, especially when you want shorter skirts.
–Tank tops under shear shirts–Both makes the shear shirt modest and can add a little extra cloth to keep wearing tank tops as the weather cools. (Flannel over tank tops is great in the winter to keep wearing tank tops.)
–Color coordinated tank tops under low cut shirts often look like they’re meant to be there and look nice.
–Long sleeve t-shirts–Modest, comfy, and they look good for everything, from relaxing around the house to dressing up with accessories.
–Check out retro clothes. A lot of thrift stores have sections for them. They tend (though not always by any means) to be more modest and they can be really unique looking.

August 12, 2015 at 12:53


I understand wanting to dress more modestly. While you’re not responsible for this person’s sin, dressing modestly can make you feel less exposed and more comfortable if you do run into someone disrespectful.

BrokenVessel and Marcy shared great tips, and also keep in mind that modesty is not so much how you dress as how you act.

August 12, 2015 at 16:00


First off, you can’t make someone lust over you. They are either gonna lust or they aren’t going to lust. You can’t live in fear of people stare at you ‘like that’ I get stared at quite often simply because I’m a girl and I’m not ugly. Don’t change how you dress because of someone else. If you change how you dress you should change because you feel God told you too. Not because someone looked at you, because that will happen no matter what you are wearing.
Secondly, remember that modesty is as much about the heart as it is as much about how you dress.
And lastly, BrokenVessel pretty much said it all. Just add more layers and if you feel that your shorts are too short than buy some longer ones or get some cute capris.
But remember that it isn’t your fault! Sadly the church is really horrible about making sure that message is spread through teenage girls.

August 12, 2015 at 16:54
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