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I’m Emotionally Dead & Don’t Know What to Do With My Family

Home Forums Christian Life Christian Life I’m Emotionally Dead & Don’t Know What to Do With My Family

This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  NerdyChick334 1 year, 6 months ago.

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fixmyeyes

fixmyeyes

Hi. I’m a 17 year old girl, and I am going to be entering my senior year of high school in the fall.
So now since you know a little about me, I will explain what I am going through.

I’m not sure when it began, but I feel emotionally dead. I’ve lost my fire for God, and I can’t feel anything for my family, friends, pets, children, or even my guy. I never feel happy anymore, I just feel numb. I don’t know what’s going on and I want to be back to my old self. Maybe if my showed you a piece of my life, it might help you with trying to figure out what’s wrong with me.

As of right now, I have a group of friends that unconditionally love me and the sweetest guy waiting for me. Okay, so let me talk about “my man.”
I’ve always known who he was. You know, like you know his name and his face, you see him around school sometimes, but you don’t KNOW him. Well, a couple of months ago, he told one of his friends that happened to be my friend too that he thought I was awesome, and that’s when everything started going into motion. I knew he was a “Christian” by the cross his was standing by in his profile picture on social media and because he attended the biggest church in town, but I never knew that he KNEW Christ until we got to know each other. The more I got to know him, the more appealing he became. It seems like he was the perfect guy for me. He later confessed he liked me and of course I told him the same. So, after talking about we wanted from a relationship and our goals we decided to date. But our relationship ended short(2 days actually) when he told me he didn’t want me disobeying God. Okay, let me explain: he’s black, I’m white. My parents believe any interracial couple should be, to quote my father, “taken down into the woods and shot and killed.” So since he just graduated high school and is going off to college, he told me he’d wait a year until I graduated and became of age. So that’s where we are in our relationship right now. He’s such a great man of God and I could really see myself being with him, but there’s my parents. I don’t know what to do with them, I feel like I’m never happy anymore because of their opinions on issues in the world, and how they behave and treat others. I’m not ridiculing my parents anyway, they’ve raised me into who I am today and owe them for that. But with all the fighting and hate(what I think it is) that my home is filled with, I’ve grown numb to feeling emotion. Ii want my old self back where I could be happy and peaceful and excited to see my friends, excited to get home from school, excited to talk to my guy, and most importantly, excited to grow deeper in my relationship with God and go to church. My parents tell me its the right thing to go to church, and they’ll even talk about God and watch the Daystar channel on TV. But how can you be filled with the Holy Spirit when you are spatting out cuss words and bitter remarks and showing anger everyday of your life. I feel like my numbness is growing into that. I’m starting to find myself being angry for no reason and screaming at the two year old I babysit. I DO NOT WANT TO BE THAT PERSON. I’m sorry, but I don’t want to be like my parents, not mentioning my brother. He does everything he can to spit upon God and church. I feel like with a household of such negativity, that I’m being drawn down by it. I just don’t know what to do, please help.

May 27, 2015 at 10:15
Celby

Celby

Hearing from what you are experiencing reminded me of something I was thinking about myself not so long ago. Many times my emotions and my internal well being has been affected and dictated by how my external life was– say the weather, my busy homework schedule and other things that rise and fall on the outside. I know now that I myself need the joy of the Lord.
Nehemiah said, “Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” — Nehemiah 8:10

Even when times are adverse, as long as you trust in God and have peace knowing He has it all in His care, you’ll have joy. Don’t let your family’s negativity get to you, but always be joyful. Even then, your joy could actually spread to them rather than their negativity coming to you, especially when they know it is coming from you patient
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! trust in God.” — Philippians 4:4
Be still and know that HE is God. Give all your worry up to Him and don’t let that anger get in the way of your relationships with others. Just tell yourself that its ALL in His care. Take time to enjoy life and chill a little. Laughter is the best medicine. So lighten up the mood and laugh more! Mwa ha ha ๐Ÿ˜€ Two year old children love fun!
As for your family, just try to love them and act Christ-like before them. Still be humble and respectful to them, but let them know when their actions are harmful– like anger bouts, excessive cussing and such. But don’t jump on their tails every single time, just be patient with them. Pray that the Lord would use you as a testimony in front of them and live the gospel! They’re still your family, so love them as much as possible, the way Christ does for you! Change begins with you! When things get tough, remember God is with you! Pray to Him and ask Him for whatever you need. He is the Solution. Read the Bible more, it is full of wisdom and it is God’s word, so you can always open up your bible, in prayer, looking for encouragement and Hope. God love is infinite for you, so be inspired by His love.

“For God so love the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.”– John 3:16

I’ll be praying for you, fixmyeyes!

May 28, 2015 at 17:15
NerdyChick334

NerdyChick334

Sounds like depression, something I know all too well. Are you having suicidal thoughts or are afraid that you may actually hurt someone you care about? i understand you fear that your rapid drop in mood signals that you are turning into your racist and hateful parents. I want you to realize that that is NOT TRUE. It sounds like you are trying to fight against it, which is marvelous and shows that you still do have some amount of enrgy and haven’t given up yet. You still have a glimmer of hope amidst your depression. Hold on to that vision of your future. Pray to God to lift you through. I would suggest that you see a counselor or therapist to help you talk through your issues and see if the root cause of your depression is more psychological or neurological. Mine is more chemically based as my brain dysfunctions fairly frequently and has low levels of dopamine and can’t process seratonin, so I take medications to help with that. though, considering your family is the kind of “Christians” they are, I am not sure that they would be willing to take you to get that medical help. The choice is up to you whether to seek professional help or not, but please keep praying, keep the love of Jesus in your heart and know that the light and love of the Holy Spirit is most powerful in the most desolate of places and the most chaotic of storms. Even if you don’t feel that (AWESOME POWERFUL SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE) often the places God breaks us become the most beautiful and God’s best work moves at a steady, slow and painful pace. And if you need to talk, you can call on me ๐Ÿ™‚

May 30, 2015 at 00:08
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