When I was 2 years old, my mother became abusive…that lasted until I was about 9 years old. It ended because another problem surfaced. My younger brother came to me and told me that my grandfather had talked about touching him inappropriately, so I told my mom. I’m 15 now, but I still bear the weight of everything that happened 6 years ago. I hate it when men touch me, I feel as though every man I come in contact with is lusting, yet I feel as though sex is the only way that guys can show love (but I haven’t ever done anything because I look down the road, but it’s still really hard…). I have been in and out of depression and I’ve never really had friends. My parents say that I don’t have friends because I have such a hard time feeling loved because I don’t feel like I deserve love…that I feel dirty, broken and unlovable…they’re right. However, as a 15 year old girl with crazy strong emotions, it’s hard not to have a friend you can call when you are really upset. No one my age wants to know what I have been through and truly listen to my problems, but I have a really hard time opening up to and trusting adults. I guess I wanted to put this on here to see if anyone else has been through all these emotions and what they did to heal? I know my problems are far less than many peoples, but I have spent so many sleepless nights, so many hours crying and so much time angry, hurt and alone that I needed to reach out. I apologize that this has been so long and dreary, but I hope some hears me and maybe some else, who is going through the same thing, will find hope in what others have to say…Thank you in advance.
|April 2, 2015 at 05:38|
I can completely relate. My dad was extremely abusive sexually physically mentally and everything. And I too felt that sex was the only way and I did quite a lot with boys back when I was in middle school. But one thing that I really want you to know is that sex does not equal love. Real love, which I know for a fact you will one day experience, is so much more than just sex. The way I healed from everything was God. When I completely released everythjng to him all the weight of it and the sadness subsided. Sure, it was still hard to deal with, but yet so much easier because I knew I had God on my side. ( Now sometimes when I read things and respond I end up getting off track of what the person actually said, so I hope some of this helped) and just know that I do understand what you’re going through and I’m praying for you.
|April 2, 2015 at 06:21|
I also completely understand, I was raped, sexually abused, verbally abused and physically abused all my life until these past few years. you are not alone! and I understand why you cant trust anyone and im here to say that I am here for you ALWAYS!! you may not be able to trust me or anyone else with what your going through because you’ve been hurt, I do the same thing. but sometimes the people you can trust the most are the people who have been through the same as you you so if you want to talk heres my email: email@example.com. you say you have hard time when men touch you…so do I and I have a hard time when they look at me lustfully and have worried for so long that my future husband wont want me because of what has happened to me, but God has shown me that he LOVES ME!!!! no matter what has happened to me and I am ALMOST thankful those things happened to me because now when I find a girl who has been through the same thing I can help her and have her no shes not alone! God really does love you and it may not seem that way but he does. and whoever my future husband is I know he will love me anyway to. what has happened to you is not your fault no that you are LOVED!!! if u ever want to talk pleaz email me! id love yo hear from u!:)
|April 2, 2015 at 19:08|
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