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I'm too needy and Dependent

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends College Girls Girl Talk I'm too needy and Dependent

This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  katrinalove 1 year, 7 months ago.

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Bumblebee2319

So my boyfriend and I have been dating fro a little over 4 months now, and we’re both really looking for a long term thing. He’s just about to graduate and I’m only just finishing my freshman year at college. I’ve learned that I’m really needy and dependent on him and it’s causing a lot of tension for us, and I don’t know what to do. I’m scared of being alone, I constantly over think situations and I don’t know what I need to do to be stronger and more independent. I’ve tried everything I can think but I’m still here, the same way I’ve always been. What if I never change and I’m always dependent, is that healthy?

March 31, 2015 at 19:30
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

No it’s not. You need to be comfortable with yourself before you can selfless in a relationship.

You really can’t change yourself on your own, but God can. Pray for wisdom on what to do in this situation, and if you believe you will receive it. (James 1:5-6) Then, you need to put into practice what God tells you to do 🙂

April 15, 2015 at 14:17
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katrinalove

Hey:)

I might come up a bit blunt, but I think that being needy and too dependant is not a good thing. By being so, it will cause tension and perhaps lead to the end of your relationship, which I am sure is what you don’t want. Guys need space- they need freedom/ time to be themselves to be individuals ( I know this because I got a brother). You must do the same thing yourself- you need to perhaps to spend time doing things by yourself, pursuing God and spending time with family, friends and work.

One things which strikes my attention is the fact that you say you are afraid of being alone. This causes me to feel slightly worried for you because it seems that you have an unhealthy perception on your boyfriend. This might sound judgemental ( I don’t mean to be- I did the same thing before with a guy and he wasn’t my boyfriend), but it might be a possiblity that you are putting your happiness or dependence on the guy ( placing a potential idol in front of God). Ask yourself the questions: Do you worry about it all the time? Do you spend all your time with him/ or try to? Do you talk about him all the time? If God told you to have your boyfriend, would you listen to him? What would you react if you lost him? If you answer these questions, start spending more time in your relationship with God. Repent, Pray, read, go to Church and be passionate towards God. Keep with your relationship with your boyfriend- just call him once a week or go out on a date with him once a week! If you do that, you will cherish your time together and be more exicited to hang out. Keep always remembering: you are never alone. Jesus is always with you! In fact, you can pray to Jesus at any time and place at any time you want! Just talk to God about what you are going through and he will help you:) I think the scripture that God will never leave you is in Joshua 1 in the Bible.

On a seperate note, I would try asking to yourself why you are so dependant on the guy. Is it because you like him so much, you want to be with him all the time? Or is it because you don’t trust him? Or is it for any other issues? Perhaps from other issues in your past? Once you know why, I think it would just help to clear the issues:)

I hope this helps:)

April 16, 2015 at 18:08
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