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Important Realizations

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  catlover 1 year, 2 months ago.

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About 9 months ago, at a church event, I met a cute, smart, sweet, and caring guy. We exchanged numbers and began talking frequently. We hung out and got to know eachother and eventually he became my first boyfriend. He did everything right, told me anything to make me happy, and was a smooth talker. I was naive and thought I could trust anyone, and I felt that this is what God had wanted for me because it was a healthy relationship, I didn’t feel pressured to do anything and we didn’t do anything sinful (I want to wait until marriage and we discussed boundaries). However, within a few months, without a warning or any communication on the manner, this same boy broke up with me out of the blue. He said we lived too far apart (15min) and that he liked me too much to the point of it being too hard not to see me everyday (instead of trying to see me more). I knew this wasn’t the truth and I was very upset. I felt betrayed, hurt, and confused. I didn’t understand why God had given me a glimpse of such happiness only to take it away so quickly.
It took me months to finally realize why everything happened like it did. During the relationship, I began to be consumed within the relationship with my boyfriend rather than focusing on my relationship with God. God does not bless things that take you away from your focus on Him. It is important to always remember that the reason where you are today is because of Jesus Christ. He guides and directs you, and will keep your path straight. Although it was hard to accept, and rejection didn’t feel good, I knew that this is what God had wanted for me and that I had to trust Him. This was difficult because I wanted answers, but I could not contact my ex boyfriend because I knew that it would only tempt me to try and repair things, and try to convince him to stay together. Instead, I did not communicate with him after the breakup.
I did not receive closure, I did not receive answers of the sudden change in his feelings for me. Nothing. I didn’t hear from him. My basketball team won sectionals, I was successful in things that I had told him I was excited about, but despite all that, I couldn’t get a text of congratulations or even one asking how things were going in my life. Emotionally, I felt tortured and confused. I felt like a bad person for not communicating with him, despite all the pain and sadness he had caused (and was still causing) me.
But time helps to heal all wounds, and I have come so far. Recently, over six months after the breakup, I reached out and said I hoped things were going well for him. He responded and we had a short conversation (which he quickly ended), but that was exactly what I needed. It was a reminder that I couldn’t find acceptance or closure within a conversation with him, but only through Christ could I find these things. Before, I couldn’t quite pinpoint what in my life was missing. I went to church every Sunday, read my daily bible verses, and prayed often. I felt a void in my life, and mistakenly, I thought that human relationships and things of the world could fill this void. I have realized now that only God can fill this void, and I am on a search to fill it with Him. I don’t know where to start or how to get there, but I know that God is the answer to that empty feeling inside of me. God gave me a relationship like he did, to simply show me that although I was happy within a human relationship, ultimately true happiness can only be acquired through him, and I must get myself right with God before I can have a true worldly relationship worthy of marriage and God’s blessings. I want to focus my life on God and find this happiness through him, and share it with others.
If anybody has any advice, comments, tips, or stories, please share in the comments. If you can help me as i spiritually get to where I would like to be, please don’t hesitate to comment. Also, if I can give you advice or help you with your spiritual walk, please don’t hesitate to comment as well. Love you all, sisters in Christ, and am praying for each and every one of you.

September 23, 2015 at 05:37
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Hi, so I jist wanted to say that one thing that really stuck with me about what you said was, “God doesn’t bless you with something that will take your focus away from Him.” I’ve asked God the question, “Why am I still single?” a few times and I’ve come to the realization that I am not a point in my walk woth God where my main focus is God and I believe God won’t give me another distraction. Yes, I would love to have a boyfriend whom I could marry one day but if I can’t focus on God solely right now while I’m single, then how could I possibly focus more on Him when I have someone else I would want to focus on? I used to have the mindset that, “Maybe I can’t focus on God first right now but of I had a godly boyfriend then he could motivate me to grow closer to God.” How wrong is that? I realize now how wrong it is. God is FIRST always!! Thank you for posting this is just opened up my eyes even more. If have any advice on what could help me stay focused on growing closer to God that would be amazing! Once again thank you for posting this and I’m keeping you in my prayers! 😊💗❤

September 23, 2015 at 07:49


Hi, thank you so much for your reply! I’m glad my words have stuck with you, and your words have stuck with me as well. You’re totally right about how if you’re not able to focus 100% on God while you’re single, how it would be even harder with a boyfriend to do so. I often ask God the same question as you mentioned, “Why am I single?” And I’ve found that there is no other answer other than our “relationship status” being single is God speaking to us saying, “You are in a relationship with Me.” Its a safe bet that a lot of girls our age are out looking for relationships, and yes- of course I wouldn’t mind having someone to talk to and someone who cares about me- but the truth is, we already have all that and MORE through Christ. How many girls can say their boyfriends died or would die for them (at 17)? I know that my future husband is out there, and that right now this is God’s time to use me and help me grow with my relationship with Him in order to bring others to know Jesus. If I can be a shining light to just one person in the next few years, just by being single and focusing solely on God and my relationship with Him, then I know that all of this was worth it. And I know that the blessings I receive later in life with my husband and family will be even greater because our God is capable of that and more.
I have recently began to pray daily for my future husband. I pray that he’s making good decisions, and that he is growing in his relationship with God.
My advice for growing closer to God, I don’t have too much- as i’m trying to do the same right now and am struggling with it. I am going to read more of my Bible and pray more (specifically, pray that God opens my heart to Him so that I may grow closer to Him and be a blessing to others), and attend more church services at my church. Tonight I went to church (after my realization that the void I have felt in my life can only be filled with God) and I have this peace within me that feels different than anything I’ve felt before, and I’m feeling less of that worldly emptiness. It’s been less than a week since I asked God to open my heart up and He is already doing work. It’s amazing. You seem to be already well on your way to this feeling as well. I am going to keep you in my prayers as you grow in your relationship with God. Thank you so much for your reply, you too have opened my eyes so much, and it means so much to me that you took the time to respond to me.💜💕😊

September 23, 2015 at 18:51
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