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Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends High School Girl Talk Is it selfish? DESPERATE NEED FOR ADVICE

This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  QueenFemminist97 1 year, 6 months ago.

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I have a strong passion for being an activist especially for women’s equality and gay rights. I always try to find ways to show my support and stand for these issues.

One way I’ve thought of doing this is not getting married until gay marriage is legal in all the country. Many of my fellow activists have made pledges like this, and I love the thought behind it.

However, I want to get married. My boyfriend and I have dated for a long time and hope to get married in 3-5 years. If I were to take this stand, I could obviously still be with him as a couple, but I wouldn’t be able to feel that joy of being Mrs. His Last Name. I have dreamed of marriage like any girl, and it would hurt me so much not to be able to marry him.

That makes me understand why so many people take the stand though. It really puts the torture of gay couples wanting to marry but can’t in perspective. I can’t even handle the idea, yet they must live with it as reality.

My question is, if I do decide to marry anyway will I be selfish for it? I want to try my best to be a good human being and support my fellow people, but I feel like this calling is too hard?

Is it selfish to put the want of marriage before my beliefs as an activist?

May 29, 2015 at 13:12


I don’t think it’s selfish. You’re really just taking advantage of the rights you have. As long as you’re appreciative of those rights, and it sounds like you are, I don’t think it’s bad or selfish of you.
Besides, there’s a decent chance it will be legal in 3-5 years, really. 😀

May 29, 2015 at 18:52


@rainbowuni Thank you so much for your answer. I struggled with the idea for a long time. What you said makes sense though. I have a strong appreciation for my right to marry the person I love. Thinking about this pledge made that appreciation stronger.

And hopefully you’re right 😉

May 29, 2015 at 19:09
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