Hello again! Sorry I’ve been posting a lot. I just have a lot on my mind and not a lot of people to talk to right now. I do have friends, but I’ve had cases in the past with my old ones where suddenly the whole lunch table knew the next day. And they were in my youth group! The people I came to know and love and said we were brother or sister in Christ 🙁 I’m probably more sensitive than I should be, and when I see them, I just want to go the other way. So sometimes I just don’t know who I can talk to and if I should be telling them a certain thing.
My question is; Is there something wrong with me? I have a hearing loss, wear hearing aids and have some trouble with speech. Lately I’ve noticed some people talk really loud to me. Is my hearing loss the first thing people can tell about me? If so, why would anyone like me? The other day I was walking with my friend’s brother, and he was talking really loudly and there was a little excitement in his voice. I had some trouble with my speech again, so he asked me what he thought I said. I said no and said it again. I also said “Sorry” but he brushed it off or ignored it. There wasn’t even time to be embarrassed. Why would he still like me and not care about my speech? I’m really good friends with his sister and everyone says she adores me. I’m her buddy in Best Buddies. Does she just see me as special needs? Would anyone know what she sees that’s so special in me?
They seem to both like me but I don’t understand what them or anyone else sees in me. How do they see past my speech? I can tell he likes me too. When I was standing with him and my friend the other day, I could see that his pupils kept shifting from small to big looking at me. And whenever we leave, he looks back and kinda stares at me. He seems to be trying to look in my eyes. He was also super nice when I went over this summer. The whole family hung out in the kitchen. I was nervous, but her dad was making me laugh. I laughed very, very quietly. He heard it and encouraged it by laughing as well. I like him, but more than anything he’s a safe person.
The two freshman I became friend with in Best Buddies this weekend also instantly talked loud when I first started talking to them. Is it that obvious I’m different? It makes me not want to talk to people or be in public at all. I do not like how everyone always assumes they should talk louder. Only a couple of my good friends have never talked louder since the day I met them. I really like their softer voices. I also talk more quietly so wouldn’t they try to match that?
|December 15, 2015 at 18:06|
I’m sorry your old friends haven’t always kept your trust. 🙁 You deserve better than that.
It sounds like you may be overthinking your current relationships. I’m good at overthinking things, so I understand the temptation to do that. People care about you because you’re a good person and a good friend. Instead of focusing on the aspects of yourself that make you feel self-conscious, you should make a list of things that you love about yourself. You can ask your friends and family to tell you what their favorite thing about you is and put their answers on the list too. When you start to wonder why people want to be friends with you, you can use the list to remind yourself of who you really are.
As far as people talking loudly goes, you could try telling people you’re comfortable with: “Hey, I appreciate that you are trying to help me by speaking louder, but I would actually prefer if you spoke at your normal volume.” Then you won’t have to worry about as many people talking loudly to you.
|December 16, 2015 at 19:02|
Nothing is “wrong” with you! You’re just different, and that’s a gift! God makes us all differently so that we can serve different purposes. He may have given you hearing loss so that you can minister to the deaf or hard of hearing. Put your faith in God & rely on him when the world seems to be hurting or failing you. As far as self confidence goes, make a list of things you love about yourself and how God can use those things and read it every day before you go to school. Always remember that God loves you & everyone here at PI is happy to love on & encourage you!!
|December 16, 2015 at 20:38|
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it!
|December 20, 2015 at 11:20|
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.