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Junior in high school and don't have any close friends

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends High School Girl Talk Junior in high school and don't have any close friends

This topic contains 6 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  Volleyball4life 1 year, 5 months ago.

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music_love_janaye

music_love_janaye

Like the title says, I’m a high school junior and have recently been struggling a lot with the fact that I don’t have any close friends at my school. I’ve never really been good at making friends and being vulnerable with people, but I guess I’ve always just assumed that I’d be able to make friends anyway, just like everyone else does. At this point I’ve pretty much given up, since most of the friendships and groups have been established for over 2 years, which makes it really hard to break into any of them, especially considering that I’m extremely shy and have some degree of social anxiety. Everyone around me seems to be doing just fine–they already have best friends, and they’re perfectly happy with who they hang out with. I’m just really desperate for someone who I can hang out with and be myself around, and essentially just for a best friend. I mean, I have a best friend, but she moved out of the country last year, and ever since then I’ve just felt really lonely. We talk pretty frequently, but it’s not the same as having someone I can be around all day and hang out with. I’m at the point where I wish I could switch schools entirely, so I could start over with new, but I know that’s not an option at this point. I’ve been praying that God would help me to make good friends, but it just hasn’t been happening and I’m getting discouraged. I’m telling myself that maybe God is keeping me from having close friends for some reason that I can’t see right now, but that isn’t exactly comforting right now. So I guess I’m just looking for advice in this situation. Thanks.

March 9, 2015 at 20:14
STaylor

STaylor

Hey girl! I feel your pain (trust me… I’m pretty awkward too)… I guess my best advice would be to keep your eyes open… there are opportunities EVERYWHERE to make new friends… maybe your new best friend is that girl who everyone thinks is weird, or maybe you sit next to her in history. You never know until you get out of your comfort zone and start reaching out to people… I know, I know, it sounds scary, but trust me it’s worth the effort and initial awkwardness… just be yourself because there are people out there who will enjoy you as you (yes awkwardness and all… trust me cos I’ve found some ;P) Hope this helps!!!!! <3<3<3

March 10, 2015 at 09:21
Simplicity

Simplicity

DUDE I TOTALLY FEEL YOU. I’ve had three of my best friends move away in the past which can be really discouraging despite the amazing technology- texting, calling, videochatting, etc. Recently, I have been feeling quite lonely because I totally agree with you- it feels like everyone already has their best friends. However, I went to my youth group’s winter retreat and the first message was on being lonely! It really reached me personally because I was going through such a rough time. Basically, the pastor spoke about how the Holy Spirit is ALWAYS with us and inside of us! And we as humans are naturally presence-driven, but remember the word is the truth, and God is ALWAYS THERE even when we can’t feel Him. Also, we had one-on-ones with counselors at the winter retreat, and my friend/counselor explained how maybe God is making this season of difficulty for us because He wants us to improve something, whether it be our own spirituality, personality, our relationship with our family, our relationships with friends outside of school, or our relationship with God. Or maybe He is teaching us the temporariness of friendships with other people compared to our friendship with God. After all, people will oftentimes fail us, but God will always be there. 🙂 Remember God is making this season of hardship in order to help you become stronger! 🙂 And remember it’s okay if your close friends are at church and not at school. Friends are blessings no matter where they are! So maybe try not to focus on needing a best friend since we all already have Jesus as our best friend. 🙂 Instead, try explaining to God why you want a best friend and trust that God’s got your back no matter what.

March 14, 2015 at 21:29
Simplicity

Simplicity

Also, check out the song You’re Not Alone by Owl City and Britt Nicole. 🙂 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DavJ9UKS2ps

March 14, 2015 at 21:34
GodLivesInMe

GodLivesInMe

Hey! I have to say that making friends has been easy, but keeping them has been hard, so sometimes I also feel slightly alone. But you know what?!?! I have a great friend who goes with me where ever I go, never cancels plans, and this I am one of the coolest people. His name is Jesus. I know that you know that Jesus is with you, but sometimes when you feel lonely, think of what this might have to do with God. God will provide you with people that are worthy of your time. While you might be shy, God looks down on you and loves you so much that He would not make you lonely if it wasn’t apart of His plan. He is probably saving up someone super special to be that person that you can be yourself around. Keep praying and look in your Bible our in your pastor or in your family or your heart for His answer. I will pray for you, but until the person comes, God always wants to hear from you!!!

March 22, 2015 at 19:36
Volleyball4life

Volleyball4life

This is pretty close to home for me as well. I guess I feel like I have a bunch of kind-of friends who aren’t really there for me when I need them. Living in a small town is tough like that because there aren’t a whole lot of ‘options’ for friends lol. I feel so lonely sometimes it’s like my heart is breaking. Through this time, though, God is teaching me that no matter how bad it gets, He will always lift you up, always be there for you, and is constantly by your side.

June 25, 2015 at 18:14
brianna-hall

brianna-hall

Hey!
Girl, I know exactly what you’re going through. 2 summers ago I had NO friends. I was a weird teen – interested in nerdy stuff that nobody else liked – and I was kind of shy. Nobody talked to me or invited me anywhere all summer. I became depressed because I thought I would have to change who I was in order to make friends – something my parents told me was never the solution. I lost faith that God would ever have anybody for me. But I kept praying. Every day and every night I would pray, “Lord just one friend. I just want one.” I don’t want to sound like I’m having a pity party for myself, but that’s how it was. My mom was the only person I had to talk to! But anyways. I prayed every night and started losing faith because school was starting in 2 weeks. I didn’t think anything would change. Well, let me tell you. In a matter of 3 days I found a school online with my mom, met with the administrators, went to open house, signed up for the school (which, at the time was going to start in 4 days), and went shopping for all the school supplies. It happened crazy fast and was totally a God thing! That school was a Christian school full of nerdy people like me! Haha, I say that in the nicest way possible. They all loved the same stuff I did, and had a passion for God that i hadn’t seen in many other people before. These people are all now some of my closest friends – guys and girls alike. It didn’t happen exactly when I wanted it to. I had to wait all summer! but I can tell you that it was so worth the patience and prayer. God sees your heart and your desires for a friend. He isn’t going to leave those prayers unanswered 🙂 It might not happen exactly when you want it to, but i can telll you that He will give you friends! 🙂 I hope this helps!!

June 30, 2015 at 04:44
SoccerRy16

SoccerRy16

Wow, this hit way to close to home for me. I went to the same school for nine years, I knew the same kids for nine years and still didn’t really have a close friend in any of them. Then I entered high school and went to this really great Christian school in Michigan and made some amazing friends but still didn’t have that close friend. Well, that school ended up closing and I transferred to another one and that was super hard to make quality friends at but I still did it but none of them were that close friend that I had been praying for. I gave up on praying for a close friend because I ended up getting some really close guy friends but, then after a couple of months I started praying for a close friend who was a girl because I really wanted that closeness and God did answer my prayer, just not in a way I was expecting. I ended up being a camp counselor this summer at a camp on the other side of the state and I’m a junior in high school so while I was praying for a close friend I didn’t think that I would get one. But then I decided to completely give this to God and at that camp he did something amazing. He not only gave me one close friend, He gave me 11 close girlfriends. It didn’t really happen how I wanted (because all of my close girlfriends live on the other side of the state) but it happened and all in God’s timing. So seriously pray about and always remember Our God is way bigger than any problem:)

December 7, 2015 at 18:33
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