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My dad wants to interview my dates, I'm not very thirlled

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Nate 1 year, 6 months ago.

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RachelMeeko

RachelMeeko

I’ve haven’t started dating yet, and I’m 17. My dad’s talked to me before about dating and such, which I’ve never had much of a desire for anyway, so most of it didn’t matter to me. But whether or not I’m interested in dating I got enraged inside when on one car ride he told me about wanting to interview my dates. I was very frustrated, because I’m not a position to be filled, I’d do quite fine without dating or getting married if that’s what I wanted. Woman are no longer dependent on men and don’t have to be married off anymore. So the thought of an “interview,” well it gets me rather steamed up.

Recently one of my guy friends and I have talked about dating in the future, because we both care very much about each other. I want to wait until I’m 18, although my guy friend only knows that I’m not ready to date yet, but I would like to when I’m older. So while the whole interview thing seemed far off (I didn’t expect to want to date for at least two years, instead of only two months, when I will be turning 18), now it seems much closer and the thought of it makes the back of my throat ache with anger and I become infuriated to the point where I start to cry. I feel like I’m being much less respected as a person, where my dates have to be interviewed to see if they meet whatever criteria, so then they can fill the “position” of being my boyfriend.

I have no problem if my dad wants to have a discussion with a guy before I go on a date, make sure we are all on the same page, make sue that the guy knows not to touch me and that he needs to respect and protect me, and such things. Maybe all I’m simply getting upset about is the term my dad is using, that the word “interview” makes me feel like I’m some girl back in the past who’s father searched out a husband for her because horror of horrors, she could never be trusted to choose her husband on her own, apparently. *rolls eyes*

Does anyone else hate the term “interview?” Is this just something I’m getting upset over because of poor word choice, or is there something deeper that’s making me so upset? Because I am very, very upset about the whole thing.

June 9, 2015 at 23:24
Winged Eloquence

Winged Eloquence

If you’re upset about the terms that your dad is using, then talk to him about it. Open communication with your parents is so important! Taking the time to sit down and explain your fears – and listen to what he has to say – can help you find a peaceful solution that you’re both happy with. When my parents and I need to hash through an issue, we sit down together and discuss it candidly, working through everyone’s different concerns. It has helped us to grow very close. I feel like I can share anything with them. I’d recommend that to everyone who is going through something like this.

I don’t think your father is trying to communicate that you can’t be trusted to choose a husband on your own. I think he’s just concerned for your safety, and since he was a young, single man at one time, he can give you insight into a young man’s character. I think it’s very reasonable for your father to want to talk to potential boyfriends – no matter if he’s using the term “interview” or not. The use of a certain term is more of a pedantic thing that can easily be changed.

Remember, also, that the Bible tells us to honor our parents. It’s a natural thing to want to be independent and start making your own choices, but I’d be careful, if I were you. Your father has many years under his belt. He can offer you wisdom and guidance as you transition into this new period of your life.

June 10, 2015 at 11:06
Nate

Nate

tell mom. xD

June 10, 2015 at 18:09
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