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My friend wants to kill herself, please help.

Home Forums Life, Love & Girlfriends Random Thoughts and Questions My friend wants to kill herself, please help.

This topic contains 10 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  EmeraRider 9 months, 3 weeks ago.

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EmeraRider

EmeraRider

I have a good friend in high school. Her name is Hanna. I don’t see her in person very often anymore, but I’m following her on tumblr. I was scrolling through her blog today, and she posted that she’s going to kill herself. She said she’s staying for the duration of the play she’s working in, which ends on February 15th, but she’s killing herself after that.

I immediately texted Hanna and started trying to talk her out of it, which I’m still doing right now. She’s said that she feels like people care, but not enough to where they’ll feel much for her. Her mother kicked her out of the house a couple months ago as well. Her boyfriend left her for another girl, and when she told him she was feeling suicidal, he didn’t even react. She said that she feels completely alone. She said that’s she’s thought about this for a long time now and that she’s made her decision.

I told my mom about it. My mom knows Hanna’s mom, and my mom said she’d contact Hanna’s mom to let her know about this. Even though she kicked Hanna out of the house, I know that she would never wish this on her daughter.

Please help me. I’m trying to figure out what else to do. I can’t stand the thought of losing her. I’m praying like mad, of course, and still talking to Hanna. I really need help, guys. Thank you so much. There are ten days until the show ends.

February 3, 2016 at 23:11
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

I’m so glad you told someone! I think that’s the most important thing you can do. I think now you need to keep following up with her, get together, and just talk. It sounds like she struggling with severe depression, and having someone to talk to when you’re depressed is more important than you’ll ever know.

People who commit or attempt suicide don’t want to die, they just want to stop hurting.

Girl, this is really serious, and you’re a good friend to care so much. I would telephone your local police station (not 911, the actual police, since this isn’t an emergency right this second) and let them know what’s going on. They won’t be mad at you for calling, their job is to protect and serve the community. Just let them know you’re concerned for your friend and what she said and ask what they recommend. Like I said, this is their job.

February 4, 2016 at 12:17
princesshunter

princesshunter

There’s been times I wanted to end my life. I felt like no one cared. I was the loner in school, the forgotten child. I felt I had no purpose. But then I found God. Suicide won’t just take away the pain, it will kill any hope for the future. Looking back I’m glad I didn’t end my life. It didn’t look like the storm would ever let up. But now here I am. I’ve found Christ and He’s given me purpose. He’s blessed me with the cutest nieces and nephew who light up my life. Some lyrics in the song Lullaby by Nickelback says: “Stop thinking about the easy way out. There’s no need to go and blow the candle out. Because you’re not done, you’re far too young and the best is yet to come.” I hope my story helps.❤ Matthew 11:28-30

February 4, 2016 at 17:26
princesshunter

princesshunter

Also the greatest thing Christ gave me was eternal life. Prayers for your friend.💗

February 4, 2016 at 17:31
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

Princess-I’m so happy that you’re happy now. Your story is an inspiration! God is good 🙂

February 4, 2016 at 17:32
EmeraRider

EmeraRider

Thanks guys.

I told my mom about it last night, and she e-mailed Hanna’s mom. And now a lot of stuff is going down and I’m scared.

Hanna’s mom said that Hanna has done this before. There have been times where she’s threatened to kill herself, the cops have shown up, and everything is fine. Nobody’s saying she was lying this time, but Hanna’s mom is glad I said something and contacted Hanna’s therapist and the family she’s been staying with.

But Hanna texted me a few minutes ago saying to delete all the texts we had, and she said that if there’s any proof that she made that post on tumblr, she’d be getting kicked out of the house she’s staying in. And she said that now she’s getting pulled out of the show completely, going under heavy watch at school, and that her mom is trying to wreak havoc. And she said that if I value our friendship, I would delete the texts.

So I deleted them. But now I’m really scared for her. I won’t apologize for trying to help her, but now everything is out of control…

February 4, 2016 at 17:38
AdventureGirl

AdventureGirl

I’m so sorry. You definitely did the right thing by telling. I’d say keep being there for her; regardless of whether she’s serious or not, nobody makes those kind of claims unless they’re sincerely struggling with something.

February 4, 2016 at 17:48
EmeraRider

EmeraRider

Yes, I know. But I’m really scared now, because Hanna is furious with my mom for getting HER mom involved. But I know now that Hanna’s mom still loves her. My mom said that Hanna’s mom started to cry when she told her what Hanna posted. She knows that Hanna’s mom would take her back in the house. (She kicked her out because Hanna was breaking her rules, which I don’t think was right of her mother, but I know that her mother does not want to cut all ties with her). Her therapist and mother are involved and trying to take care of everything, but Hanna told me that everything is worse now. I know that I did the right thing by telling an adult, but now I feel like Hanna is going to struggle even more and I feel terrible. I don’t know what else to do.

February 4, 2016 at 18:43
Mandi Pi

Mandi Pi

Emera Love:
Firstly, I understand. Some of my best friends experience depression/self harm, and one has attempted suicide. Just like people who go through depression are not alone, people who know others who go through depression are not alone.

Secondly, there is no need to blame yourself or feel guilty for anything. I’m sure you did the right thing, and even if you didn’t, *that is okay too*. We always feel like everything lies in our hands, and it’s our job to fix things, therefore it’s our fault when it goes wrong. But that’s not true. Everything lies in the hands of a God who loves us and uses us, and it’s His job to fix things, therefore nothing we do is going to change His ultimate plans. God totally uses us and puts us into others’ lives to help them, but the people that we’re helping are still in God’s hands, not ours.

Thirdly, don’t feel like you have to be the perfect person, know what to do and when to do it, and magically fix this girl’s life. Like I said, that’s ultimately God’s job, not yours. The pressure’s off. That being said, you should simply do everything you can to be there for her and love on her. Just keep in contact with her, ask her how she’s doing, send her encouragement via Tumblr/whatever other media you can reach her at, pray for her, tell her you’re praying for her, remind her that you’re there if she ever needs someone to go to, and if/when you can, just talk to her. If you feel like she needs to be reminded of something (like that her mom still loves her, or anything else on your mind), then do your best to remind her of it in love. Avoid telling her how she should feel, or inadvertently making her feel guilty, but gently remind her that her mom does care for her, God is still in control (I don’t know if she’s a Christian or not), her life still has purpose and worth, and you are there for her.

Fourthly, *do not worry*. I promise you, I am the queen of worrying, and this is the one thing I can completely understand. Every since a year and a half ago when a friend of mine told me she had self harmed, I have never *stopped* worrying. Every day I worry about a good number of my friends. Every day I hurt for my friends. Every day I wish I could take my friends’ places. Every day I’m on the verge of becoming confused and upset with God because of what my friends have to go through. But you know what? There is nothing I need to be worrying about. Because at the end of the day, God is still God. God still loves me, and loves you, and loves my friends, unconditionally to the point of dying for them and knowing the number of hairs on their head. God is still in control. God still knows what He’s doing. God still understands peoples’ struggles better than we ever could. God still has purpose in what He allows into peoples’ lives. And whether loved ones’ struggles are to help them, or help us, or help others, or just bring glory to God in some way we can’t comprehend, then so be it. Because at the end of the day, God is still God, and He is always going to win out against depression, pain, guilt, and even death itself.

Fifthly, pray. Any time you have a spare ten seconds, pray. I know you may not want to hear it, I know you may not believe so much in it at the moment, but prayer can do so much. So pray for this girl, pray for her mom, pray for your mom, pray for the other people in this girls’ life, pray that God will take over the whole situation, and pray for *you*, and that you’ll have wisdom, and peace that transcends all understanding (Philippians 4:6-7!).

Finally, never, ever give up. Keep fighting, because you’re on the High King’s side, and no matter how much trial we face in this world, He has overcome this world (John 16:33), and He deserves our best efforts to be His light where people need it.

Love you, hope this helped, and stay strong in Christ, girly! I’m always here if you need to talk, or more advice; my email is still Amfin@earthlink.net. <3 =^.^=

February 8, 2016 at 17:56
PolkaDot

PolkaDot

I’d ask a professional psychiatrist or therapist about it. They might be able to give you pointers on how to help her and maybe they’d be able to give you some ideas on how to help her not feel so alone and how to get her to talk to a therapist or doctor of some sort.

February 9, 2016 at 21:43
EmeraRider

EmeraRider

Thanks guys.

She moved out of her friend’s house and moved in with a new one. She’s under watch with her therapist and everything, and she’s very upset. But I’m relieved that she’s okay. She wants to get emancipated from her mother, but her therapist is telling her she can’t. I don’t agree with her mother for kicking her out of the house, I don’t think a parent should ever kick their kid out, even if they aren’t listening. I think her mother could have handled it better, but I do also know now that her mother would take her back if she agreed to work things out. I’m praying that she repairs her relationship with her mother.

February 11, 2016 at 21:13
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